The perfect job or company for you?

I'll bet there are very very few of us who can say we are living the dream?   And that's a shame!

How to become a daydream achiever

Throughout my undistinquished and limited scholastic career there was always one constant I can remember. Every report card I carted home to my disappointed mother always seemed to be annotated with this....."Edward could do much better but he spends too much time in class daydreaming". Lucky for me, as Mark Twain said...'I never let my schooling interfere with my education'.

My teachers were in full agreement that the only thing that seperated me from doing my mother proud was my lack of discipline and interest. I'm sure if they could of they would have advised mom to lower her expectations with this child. But little did they know that while I was daydreaming about riding my bike or that pretty little thing across the aisle, I was actually developing my creative muscle. I was growing more neuron connections for future use.

"our brains are much more activated when we daydream"

That is the findings of a recent study published by the prestigous Academy of Sciences. They discovered that the activity of numerous regions of our brains increases as our minds wander. Previously they had believed that our brains went quiet or at least in some kind of slow motion when we daydream. The common belief was that mind-wandering was associated with laziness.....FOOLS!

"We spend almost half of our waking hours mind wandering" (unless you are me, in which case it can be much longer)

Isn't that amazing? Half of our waking hours the light is on but no one is home?   (46.9% for you serious types)  This can be both good and bad. We can be worrying about the future or ruminating about the past. That's what I call..'Mind Wandering Trouble'. No good can come from this. As some wise guy once said...worry is using your imagination to make things worse.

The there is 'Mind Wandering Neutral'. This is when you are listening to music or watching the idiot box. You are letting an outside influence do the thinking for you.

So what's good about mind wandering you ask? Good question grasshopper and fortunately for you I have an answer. I call it 'Mind Wandering Fun'. This when you are conjuring up good ideas, day dreaming about a beautiful future or planning some venture.

So the good or the bad depends on what type of mind wandering your are doing. Most folks let the mind wander in which ever direction it wants to go. But I got the idea that if the mind wanders almost half of our waking hours, why not try and direct and harness its powers to my advantage? Brilliant, huh?   And so was born......

A mini course in 'Mind Wandering Fun'

1. I have discovered that the best way to direct your wandering thoughts is to give your mind a question. The answers to which will be to your benefit. So for instance, I started out with the question...How can I use mind wandering to my advantage?

2. Write your question out on an index card. This is really important because without a visual reminder your mind might lose its way and end up in mind wandering trouble.    Even if you have the card as a visual reminder that tricking mind of yours will still wander off.   However, every time I see the card it brings me back on thought. 

3. Jot down on the back of the card all the ideas or answers that come to you.   In the car I use a digital voice recorder to record my ideas.

4. Put the card where you will see it often. I put one in the car, another by my computer and another on the bathroom mirror. (my son see's them and thinks I'm nuts but oh well it works) Without the constant visual reminder your mind will lose its way. Maybe that's why people have told me in the past....have you  lost your mind Eduardo!

5. It's important that you take note of ALL your thoughts and ideas ASAP. It has been my experience that if you don't record ideas they are so easily forgotten. Also, its like if don't immediately record your ideas you get cut off from the source they came from.

6. Stay with one question until you've either found what you were looking for or you get bored with it. If you get bored with it...change it to another question. You can always come back to the original question later with fresh eyes.

7. I sometimes end up with 4 or 5 cards different cards filled with ideas generated from one question. I then take them and review them to see which ideas I like the best (the evaluation step). However, most the time I'll come up with one idea that soars above the rest and I know it the moment I get it.   

That's it 7 easy steps. I wrote my book using this 'Mind Wandering Fun' technique.   I just wrote out the chapter name on a card and started collecting ideas for the chapter. From there it was easy to organize the thoughts and write the chapter.



I generate ideas for businesses using the same technique. I plan my talks the same way.   It's fun, its easy and it works! I hope you try it because I wouldn't want you to let your mind wander....and lose it!



When I'm daydreaming for ideas it helps me to be doing some automatic physcial activity.   Driving works really well but then there have been times when I got so deep in my mind wanderings that I missed my destination and kept on trucking down the road.  When I'm stuck for ideas I sometimes just go for a drive to nowhere in particlular. 

Walking works wonder as well.   Some of my best ideas came while walking on a tropical beach.  Isn't that beautiful.  That's why I must take a Mexican vacation every winter.   Oh, I know what you are thinking....wouldn't it work as well in a cold Canadian environment?   It might but I'm not going to chance it

The dirty little secret you must not tell anyone (especially women)

I also find doing activities like; cutting the grass, vacuuming and even washes the dishes by hand provides the physical distraction that frees my mind to wander.   So you can see why that information must not fall into the hands of women....what good can come from that?

The delibertly dumb vs the constantly curious

"what seperates the life seducers from the others is that they chose to be constantly curious instead of deliberately dumb"

It's no coincidence that smart people read books and the stupid one's refuse to. An open and curious mind seeks new truths by reading and contemplation.  A closed mind uses television as their prime information source. I know by virtue of the fact that you are reading this that you are the curious type. So you won't be offended by my musings.

"you don't have to be that smart to be a genius"

Some of those who are considered to be a genius don't have an exceptionally high IQ. What they do have is an exceptionally high curiosity. They are the constantly curious always on the look for a better answer. They are the one's who are having the fun in life's journey. Every little discovery is a joyous moment. The more they learn the happier they become.  

"it is truly amazing how much damage you can do to yourself and others if you have these two qualities; stupidity and enthusiasm"

When I meet one of these folks they frustrate me so much.  I just want to bonk them on the head. They are the 'know it alls'. While us seducers are always wondering what is the truth, the deliberately dumb crowd are so damn cocksure of themselves. They are the one's that belive in all sorts of kooky stuff. They stand by their beliefs and will fight to the death to defend something they have little or no knowledge of. Hint....they love reality shows!

Of course they don't recognize themselves. When you recognize a deliberately dumb person...never ever get in an arguement with them. I have made this mistake many times. You can't win with all the logic in the world. If you start making sense their defence is to talk louder and try and shout you down. It's a no win situation...better to nod your head in fake agreement and change the topic.

"as a life seducer our job is to understand why people are deliberately dumb"

It took me awhile to figure this one out. I have over time come to realize that choosing to be dumb is born from insecurity.   They don't want to risk examining new beliefs or opinions for fear that they will look dumb. If they did that, they know that at least initially they would be one with the least information on the topic. And how can you appear smart if you have the least knowledge on the subject. So they defend a belief or opinion to the death, in the false thought that their confidence shows how smart they are. Their refusal to contemplate another persons ideas is because they hope  to convey that they know something and you don't! Silly but true.

So I've given up on the deliberately dumb. Let them have their little world while I'm happy in mine! The funny thing is that they greatly out number us. They are the vast majority in society and we seducers are the exception. Therefore, it could be said that dumb is normal. Sorry didn't mean to scare you like that.

This little rant is now over and I return you to your regular positive programming. And celebrate that your programming doesn't just come from just the idiot box. And friends try to remember...

"the need to be right isn't nearly as important as the need to be kind"

It's not who you know

it's not who you know it's who you know that likes you"

I've been writing for years about how to make our lives; fun, easy and over-flowing with abundance. Lately, I've been wondering...what is the easiest way to accomplish that? If there was just one thing that could impact our lives in a positive way, what would it be?

In search of an answer, I tried to think of who I knew that seemed to have a charmed, happy and profitable life? I could think of many people, some I knew and some I read about. So I asked myself, what do they have in common? And the answer is....."they are all likeable"

People who are likeable tend to get the best jobs, build the best companies, have more friends, better relationships and enjoy life more. Sounds good, right? But that doesn't even touch the benefits of being likeable. Here are a few more benefits;

* Doctors give more time and better care to patients they like

* Likeability is the most consitent predictor of election results

* Likeable people inspire others to give more

* They get better and quicker service from retail businesses

* Likeable students get better marks from teachers

* They get forgiven quicker for misdeeds (I need that one)

* They have better physical and mental health

* Live longer and happier lives

There's more but you get the point. Things come quicker and easier for likeable people. We favor them and do what we can to make their lives fun, easy and abundant. And this amigos is one of the biggest secrets I've ever learned...

"it isn't the choices we make about other people that makes life enjoyable, it's the choices they make about us"

There will always be the foolish few who actually prefer to go it alone. Their attitude is I don't need other people to make it. And with supreme effort, they still succeed. I'm just not one of those who wants to make any more effort than is necessary to reach my desires. If others want to help me out and make my life easier, I say welcome onboard.

Life is fun, easy and abundant when others want you to succeed because they like you. I've decided that at Eduardo's Happy School, the first subject taught will be....How to be more likeable! I can't think of a more important subject. My graduates will all be taught this vital skill and as a result will be world leaders in likeability.Now that we have established that the most important skill to attain in life, is likeability, the obvious question is how?

I've been researching  to provide you some answers.  Appreciating my limited brain power you will have give me more time.....so come back tomorrow! I promise you some fresh insights. I might even go into more depth than the ever popular method of...buying the first round.

Smile, I really, really like you!

Deprogramming dummies

 

   

"we are born into greatness and then programmed into mediocrity"

I had a conversation with a friend in which we discussed among other things, the way we are programmed first as kids and then as adults. We reached the conclusion that it is no wonder we have so many messed up minds on this planet. The programming we usually receive is negative, conforming and very limiting.

"we are not born stupid, you have to watch a heck of a lot TV to get that way"

Driving home, I pondered what it would be like if we could find a grumpy negative person and kidnap them for the purpose of deprogramming. You know that kind of person who is always complaining about some injustice and yet does little or nothing about it. Sure it's illegal to kidnap someone against their will but it would be for their own good?

"a positive attitude may not solve all of your problems but it will annoy enough people to be worth the effort" (Herm Albright)

The purpose of the deprogramming session would be to make them aware that they have been running on automatic (or even worse operating on someone else's thoughts and not their own). To make them conscious that life can be fun, easy, and over-flowing with abundance. By the time we were done with them they would leave with a big goofy grin and be laughing and dancing their way down the street.

They would become super positive people willing to take on any worthy challenge. And as new converts I think they would be trying to convince others of the merits of their new found happiness and if not, then recommend them for deprogramming as well.

Now that is what I call a great daydream!

Guru Eduardo

P.S. I've even heard of people who were programmed to cheer for the New York Yankees and some to even cheer for the Toronto Maple Leafs......isn't that sad?

Today's epiphany....all of you are smarter than me!

"None of us are as smart or as dumb as all of us"

This is one of those paradoxical thoughts that got stuck in my head.   How could that be true?   Well I figured it out.

None of us are as dumb as all of us...

Think of a mob?    Mobs don't have rational thoughts.   Their collective thoughts usually react in very stupid and irrational ways, right?   Even fans react in silly and rediculous ways.    A sports team loses and the fans riot.    It's only a game! 

Then what about meetings?    Most people that are forced to endure many meetings will only to happily inform you that they are most a waste of time.    Even brainstorming sessions have been found to be less productive than if the group broke up and worked individually.   

So none of us are as dumb as all of us.

None of us are as smart as all of us...

Conversely an online crowd can generate ideas far beyond what any individual can.   I've even seen this in evidence on facebook and on my blog.  Sometimes I'll put out an idea and am amazed at how others quickly piggy back on my idea and improve it.   And their are lots of collaborative sites that prove out this theory daily.  

So none of us are as smart as all of us.

What makes the difference?

Physical contact.     It seems once we are in physical contact within a group then ego, prejudice, power, sex and a whole lot of other factors dumb us down.

"If its going to be fun I can't be the only one"

So what should we do?

Heck if I know, I just started thinking about this.   But since I know that all of my online friends are smarter than me alone.....I'll leave it up to you to leave a suggestion?

Words that seduce us?

“choose your words wisely for they can make your life fun, easy and abundant or hard and difficult”

Words seduce and words repel. Some words are instantly seductive to others. Words like; love, peace, admire, adore, cherish, sincere and appreciate, are just a few of the words that have an immediate effect on others. Stringing words together can motive a country, such as…ask not what your country can do for you, or..I have a dream. Words to a life seducer are like paint to a painter, we can’t create or entice without them.

“the most seductive word to all of us is our name”

Calling someone by their name means we recognize them as a valuable human being and not a servant. We love to hear our name, it validates us. It makes our communication personal. You will never be a life seducer if you don’t use a person’s name at every opportunity. Lucky for us, so many people wear name tags, sadly so many ignore the opportunity to make a waitress or clerk feel human.

I wish I were better at remembering names, but I can say I’m working on it. I understand just how important it is. I remember once, I was phoning an airline and could not get through. It took two days to make contact. By that time I was pretty annoyed. I let loose with a little tirade on the representative. Half way through it suddenly dawned on me that wasn’t going to accomplish anything.

I stopped and asked for the ladies name which she said was Jennifer and I insisted she call me by my first name. 'Jennifer'  I said, 'I need to apologize I was just incredibly frustrated and I realize it wasn’t your fault. You must be tired of hearing people like me blow steam at you, again sorry.' The phone went quiet and then she said….’yes I’ve been getting yelled at all morning and it hasn’t been any fun since our reservation system went down’. I said, ‘well if its any consolation Jennifer, it helps on this end of the line, that you have such a sweet voice‘. Jennifer had just been totally seduced, she gave me a $200 rebate and a seat upgrade for my inconvenience. In short order we were both laughing and joking about dumb people and dumb airlines, it was like we were in on an inside joke. But even more important than that, I got reinforced in my thick skull that….words matter a lot (especially names)!

“don’t let anyone call you Mr, Mrs, Miss, Madame or Sir”

There is a reason the police deal with people by calling them Mr or Mrs. They are trained not to get personal. If they allow the conversation to get personal they would be more tempted to let you off of the speeding ticket. You don’t give friends tickets so they keep as they say, a professional distance. You won’t seduce anyone who greets you formally. You need their first name and you need to give them yours. Make it personal as quick as you can.

“some words are especially seductive in that they make others want to be of assistance to us”

Help That's a hard word for most to ignore. Can you help me makes the other person feel powerful and triggers a desire to exercise that power.    Here is a powerful way to ask for help;  I don't know whether you have the power or authority but I could sure use some help....then give your request.   You would be amazed at how many times people will bend over backwards to fill your request!

Because When you ask for something just adding the word because followed by almost any kind of reason has proven to be highly effective. Heck, it even works on kids. To say, 'Johnny go clean your room' as every parent knows, goes in one ear out the other faster than the speeed of light. However, saying..'Johnny please clean your room because we have company coming', makes a surprising difference in the response you will get. And for those of you who are managers this works wonders on employees. You can thank me later....because it works!

"some people pay compliments like it was coming straight out of their bank account"

Compliments are highly seductive to women, men and children (I guess that covers everyone). It's hard to resist a flatterer when we want to belive what they are saying is true. One small well said compliment can turn a relationship back on course, soften a boss's cold heart and as I found out get you an upgrade on an airline. The art of the compliment once mastered is like a free pass to a seducer. Practice it as often as the situation allows and most important of all....have fun!

My favorite compliment is...God was just showing off when he made you. I layed it on an elderly lady clerk the other day and she giggled like a school girl. She would have given me everything in the store if she could have. I got something better, a feeling that I had really made someone's day brighter. As I said, they don't have to believe it they just have to want to believe it.

"words are hollow without sincerity"

Sincerity is the cement that strengthens your words so they can stand up to the ravages of a sceptical world. Warmth and eye contact mixed with the right words convey the sincerity that is so essential to a good seducer. Oh, and mix in the right body language and a master seducer you will be. I love words. So this is a topic I could go on and on about. However, the mark of a good writer they say is to know when to shut up so I will.

The magic of sily

“being silly is a delicious escape from the shackles of reality”

And you thought being silly was, ah…silly. The stewards of seriousness have been playing with your mind. They want you to buckle down, grow up, work hard and have no damn fun. So you were trained to believe that silly isn’t serious. Well, good thing for you that I am here to straighten out this mess. Silly is stunningly, serious stuff! Silly is greatly underrated and underappreciated. Someone has to set the record straight and I am just the guru to do it.

“if you lose the ability to be silly, you are susceptible to becoming a slave”

Ok, suspend your belief that I am bonkers for a few moments and stay with me, while I enlighten you. First, silly is misunderstood. Forget those notions about silly being a useless waste of an adults life. Silly has many benefits. It can make you happier and richer. And as I stated, the absence of silly might make you a slave.

You see when they shake the silly out of you, you become more compliant. You believe the mantra’s of the warrior’s that sign your pay check. You start to believe that ‘slow and steady’ wins the race, and hard work will be rewarded (that’s management code for, I pay you a little, you work your butt off and we the company make a lot of money). Slowly but steadily you slip into master/slave mode, all the while thinking that what you are doing for the master, is what is best for you. With silly you see the impossible as possible and the dream of the big escape is alive.

“silly is like a bonk on the head to the serious”

The word silly is derived from the German word ‘selig’ which means sacred or holy (I know…who knew). So when you are being silly, you are actually reaching a higher level of consciousness. You are closer to that place where creativity resides. Silly removes the impossible faster than a reality star can take off her clothes. With silly anything is possible. It opens the mind to all that is possible, it removes the blinders that have deceived your inner genius. Silly and her mate goofy are the parents of that beautiful child…creativity.

Through the years they have changed the word silly, to mean a useless behaviour as practised by adults. Not so bucko. Silly is incredibly useful. As I’ve explained silly enables creativity. Any brain storming session (mine is called fun-storming, but more of that later) should commence with silliness. This opens the mind to being truly creative. The sillier the better!

“silliness is a high creativity and a high energy state”

This one was a no brainer for me. It has been well documented that belly laughter is equal to a physical workout. And guess which activity gives you the best belly laughs? Right, being silly! So you get in a state perfect for developing creative ideas and you get a work out that makes you laugh at the same time. Still think that silly is silly? But wait, there’s more…

“silly is a shortcut to bonding”

Silly is most on display when children are playing. That is how they learn and bond. But this also works for big kids like us. We have all seen parents playing silly with their kids. Now, its time to dust off silly and play with your big friends. Silly is the crazy glue that bonds consenting adults (sorry saying consenting adults, just sounded funnier than saying friends).

“it’s silly to worry about past mistakes, when there is so much fun to be had making new one’s”

The thing that prevents us from making more mistakes (and subsequently learning new things) is that we fear making a fool of ourselves. Once you get comfortable with silly, you will have developed a confidence that fears no criticism. You will be free to explore and discover new possibilities. Failure will mean you are trying and having fun doing it. Doesn’t that blow your ever loving mind….having fun with failure?

“why seducers love being silly”

I’ve given you a pile of good reasons to be silly but I just love saying….but wait there is more! Yep, silly is seductive. You knew that was coming didn’t you? Silly is super seductive. It displays confidence and fun which in combination are so damn attractive, as to be irresistible. Who can resist a good belly laugh, it is highly contagious.

Ok, class is over…now go out there and make a fool of yourself, it‘s for the good of your health and your pocketbook. And no thanks necessary, you can buy me a beer later (I‘ll probably be on the beach laughing at some serious warrior).

The secret to making them think you are smart

"It is better to be thought a fool then to open your mouth and remove all doubt" (Mark Twain)

When I was a young man in the Navy I was quite shy in any group situation. I would hold back from saying anything for not wanting to draw attention to myself. One day one of the older sailors said to me...oh yeah Ed how did you get to be the smart one? That floored me because I had no idea my ship mates thought of me as intelligent.

I came to realize that because I said so little in a group setting and waited until I had something worthwhile that it caused them to think of me as intelligent. That lesson has always stayed with me...to try and not babble on like a fool. Now don't get me wrong I am still capable of a little foot in mouth disease but not often.

"The harder you try to impress the more you diminish yourself"

Trying to impress is the 'warrior way'. You can't seduce someone by saying ...look at me I'm great! Truth is we are more impressed by those who are impressed with us. And that is the 'seducer way'. We like those that like us and those that love themselves a little too much turn us off. It's better to share the spotlight then try to hog it.

Seducers have an unfair advantage because they know that a little silence goes a long way. Seducers know that the fun in seduction is to make it fun for others. And you can't do that if you make it all about you.

When to give up?

As Albert Einstein said...the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome.    Persistance is a marvelous concept but not if it goes beyond reason.   So the simple solution is this...

"If at first you don't succeed try, try again.  If that doesn't work...try different"

Not as funny as W.C. Fields but Einstein approved.    And then there sometimes comes a point of time when you tried every alternative to a problem and just need to walk away from it.   That's when its time to find something new to put your energies into.   It's like when a man has tried everything in the book to win the heart of his intended and yet she has zero interest.   To continue is a waste of energy of his energy and time and annoys the heck out of the woman. 

Pssst....want to make me happy?  Then hit the f button below and share this with your facebook friends.    Maybe those annoying ones who keep saying...never, never, ever give up will slow down and think about it!   Thanks.

Maybe you are just thinking too much?

"You would be a lot smarter if you didn't always think so much"

I just discovered the cure for procrastination!   And lucky you because I'm going to share it with you.   So lets the bells ring out and the banners fly, its too good to be true.    The cure for procrastination is....quit thinking.   That's it.   And it gets even better....

"Stop thinking is also the solution for getting more productive."

I know just what you are thinking....you got some explaining to do Guru? 

Ok, here is what causes us to procrastinate, we start thinking about what we are supposed to do.  Then we start thinking why we don't need to do it right now.   A whole avoidance senerio goes in our mind.  And before we know it, we've talked ourselves out it.  As some wise guy once said...'why put off until tomorrow what you can put off until next week'.

So the trick is to start as quick as you can.   Don't think about it just start and voila procrastination is whipped in seconds.  Too much thinking leads to delays, excuses and problems.

Now what about this increased productivity thing Mr. Guru?

Same thing too much planning of what you are going to do each day leads to inaction.   Just get started and plan as you go.   This way you will get more done.   A rough guide is all you need, too much fine planning slows you down and sometimes even gets you discouraged.   As that annoying Nike ad says...just do it (and do it now).

But wait it gets better..  

Do you want get more courage?   No problem...quit thinking so much.  The reason courage fails us is mostly because we think to much about the consequences.   Now sometimes that's a really good thing but sometimes it prevents us from going outside of our comfort zones.    The great achievements in life usually happen outside your comfort zone and too much thinking can get in the way.   Think about that?  

So there you have it, a simple solution from a simple Guru!

If at first you don't succeed remember this....

This proverb was written over 1,000 years ago by a very wise sage.   It has been passed down from one generation to another and to this day it has reminded men and women to persevere and not let life's little setbacks and disappointments knock you off your path.   The great proverbs are short, simple and contain a great truth.   They are easy to remember because of their simplicity while still containing an important lesson.  

CONFESSION TIME.....I just made that little story and the proverb up.   I thought it would make my attempt to write a proverb sound wise and important.   Did it work?   Ok, it may not go down as one of the worlds great proverbs but I still like it  anyway.  

But wait it gets better....

I also re-wrote the Serenity Prayer.    Check this out...

   





Are you in on the joke?

 

Did you ever get the feeling that this life is just one big joke, being played out at your expense?

Some things just don't seem to make sense. Here is a short list, that I've been contemplating...

*The best way to conquer your enemies....is to love them.
*To find God....stop looking.
*To gain wisdom....stop thinking.
*To feel wealthy....give it away.
*To gain more influence....place other people's interests first.

(that list looks like future articles for me to write...hmmm)

At times life just doesn't seem logical and maybe that's why so many people struggle. But what if it's all just a big joke? What if there is a God (or Goddess, women like to have fun too) and he or she gets together with their amigos to have some fun with us little people down here?

Now things would start to make sense to me! For instance...some years ago, I was listening to a speaker promoting his memory course. He demonstrated his craft by memorizing the names of every person in the room (there were about 50 of us) plus some details about each of us. And this was just for starters, the guy was amazing, he had all kinds of memory tricks....I was impressed!

So I plunked down my 100 bucks. After all as my friends know I tend to have a suspect memory. If I get really involved in something I can forget seemingly small details like  picking up my son after school.

Anyway, I was conjuring up in my mind all the benefits and how I would impress my friends with my new  display of memory skills. They were going to impressed next week after I graduated from the course. There was only one problem....I forgot to go!

This little story has entertained many over the years and always at my embarassing expense. I can't begin to count how times I've heard lines from so called friends like; how many times did he resell the same course to you? A cosmic joke? I think so.

It's things like this that have led me to believe that life is not meant to be taken so serious. If it's one big cosmic joke then I want to be in on it. And if my head is full of hot air as many have long suspected...so what? When my life on this planet is done, the least they will say of me is...the fool sure had a good time!

Smile, and people will think you are in on the joke!

What if there was a much easier to sell someone?

So what if I told you that there is no need to work hard, sacrifice and delay gratification till some distant time in the future? What if I told you that your life was meant to be fun, easy and abundant?

What if I told you that asking hypothetical questions could influence how other people will act?

The way that you ask questions can be highly persuasive especially if the question starts with the words, ‘what if.’ Here is why, the brain process what was said like ‘what if’ isn’t even there. So people are processing your question as if it were fact according to recent research from the University of Alberta. Think about that?

So lets have some fun and run through a few examples of how you might use this sneaky seduction technique….

1) A realtor wants to get a listing on a home.

E.G. “What if I told you that I could get your home sold quicker and for more money by using our companies unique marketing system?”

Why it just might work?
If you made the statement without the ‘what if’ then the client might be thinking to herself…‘yeah right, that’s what they all say’. But if you precede the statement with ‘what if’then the client first allows the information into her brain with out resistance and wonders to herself how that may be possible? The realtor now has an open door to continue the persuasion because she is now considering it as possible.

2) You want a client to sign up for your weight loss program.

E.G. What if I told you that you could lose 20 lbs before Christmas and you could eat as much as you like?

Why it just might work?
Again it gets past the resistance by not phrasing it in a way that would be perceived as a sales pitch. The client starts to imagine it being possible to lose those 20 lbs by Christmas. Remember you haven’t directly asked for the sale you have just proposed a possibility. The clients response will dictate how you react next. If you’ve gained their interest in your ‘what if’ question the sale is half done.

3) A nervous young man wants to ask a girl out on a date.

E.G. What if I were to ask you to join me Saturday night for a movie?

Why it just might work?
First our nervous young man finds it an easier question to ask that question since it is only a possibility question and he won’t face the same rejection by asking a direct question like, ‘would you like to go to a movie with me on Saturday’. That would probably get him stuttering and stammering and appear unconfident. But because it’s only a ‘what if’ even if he gets a no it is a ton lot easier to take. On the other hand he gets by her immediate defences and she if only for moments starts to imagine going to the movie with our nervous young stud.

So will this work all of the time? No, of course not but it will work a lot of the time and that’s good enough to learn this sneaky little seduction method. Of course this will only work if your ’what if’ question is received as credible and plausible.

Now for something personal….

What if I told all you ladies that are reading this article that all women who meet me personally find me to be a handsome devil and totally irresitable?

No, your not buying that?….dang I should have kept my big mouth shut and never shared this stuff with you!

Pssst…..you’re probably thinking this is a pretty nifty idea, right? Then don’t you think it’s a good idea to take it for a spin? Play with some ’what if’ questions now and then go try them out. What if it becomes a habitual part of your presentations and makes your richer and skinner?

NOTE; This is the first draft of an article for my next book...How To Seduce Business. It would sure help if you left a comment and if you wanted to be really nice to me hit the f button below and share it with your facebook friends. Thanks!

Good news! They lied to us..

"God invented an incredible fun loving machine.  Then some spoil sports got a hold of the controls and reprogrammed it, now the damn thing hardly has any fun left in it....it's called a human"

My buddy Doug and I have been discussing all the things that were once thought to be bad for us, and that have now been proven to be actually good for us. Off the top of my head, here are a few of them.

* eggs Then, bad cholestrol they said. Now they say a couple of eggs per day are good for us.

* chocolate Then, bad cholestrol, fattening and gave you zits. Now, good for you in moderate amounts (dark chocolate only).

* wine Then, nothing good and turn you into an alcoholic. Now good for your heart, 2 glasses a day for men and one for women (we deserve more)

* beer and other alcoholic beverages ditto above

* germs Then, gonna kill us and spread diseases...really bad. Now, if your home is too antiseptic and clean your kids won't develop immunities to fight off the diseases.

* sex Then, only for procreation and heaven knows that sex without a partner would grow hair on your palms (who wants to shake hands with a person with hairy palms?) Now, it's good for your mental health, it's great exercise (20-30 minutes of sex can be equal to burning 300 calories or running 3 miles, insert joke here), for us men, it's good for your prostrate and get this.....no damn hair on the palms!

* coffee Then, bad for your ticker and what else I don't remember. Now, good for you, full of antioxidents.

* fat Then, consuming fat was a big time no no. Now, it turns out their is good fat and bad fat. Bad fat is animal fat, good fat is fish fat. Good fat has Omega 3 and Omega 6 in it. This good fat is good for your heart, hair, skin and your sex life...wow.

Makes me think what else they lied or misled us about. Of course the spoil sports always have a caveat about these past sins;

"We must be moderate in our consumption"

So I can enjoy all my little bad habits  it's just that I have to be moderate. But I'm thinking to myself....well, they lied to me before...hmmmm. One last thought amigos, this is a Guruism;

"be moderate in your moderation"

I'm thinking that if we were always moderate we might end up being bland. How can that be a good thing? A world of bland people would be like a world made up of nothing but politicians and preachers. Uuck, think about that. So I say dear readers be moderate, but every once in awhile....go hog wild with your pleasures! Do something crazy, take some chances and savour life to it's fullest (just be moderate about it, damn it)

You matter when......

You matter when....

When you love the work you do and the people you do it with.

When you are so gracious,  generous and aware that you think of other people before yourself.

You are the problem solver not the problem creator.

When you leave the world a better place than you found it.

When you continue to raise the bar on what you do and how you do it.

When you teach and forgive before you rush to judge and demean.

When you touch the people in your life through your actions (and your words).

When kids grow up wanting to be you (or inspired by you).

When someone knows you love them unconditionally.

When you see the world as it is but insist on making it more like it coul be.

When you inspire a Nobel prize winner or a slum dweller.

When the room brightens when you walk in.

When you give someone you total undivided attention.  

And when the legacy you leave behind lasts for hours, days or a lifetime.

When you cause someone to have a good belly laugh.

CONFESSION TIME; I swiped this from Seth Godin's excellent blog and then snuck in a few of my own!

Your turn.....what would you add to the list?

Confessions of a Seducer

Chapter 1

Confessions of a Seducer

I’m a seducer not a fighter!

One of the most persistent metaphors for success is that of a warrior. It sure sounds noble to charge out there and conquer life. To overcome every obstacle and defeat any foe. To never back down from a fight, and through sheer will power to impose your intentions on the world. The problem is that for me it just doesn’t work, as it doesn’t for millions of others. For we are the lovers not the fighters. So what are we supposed to do?

“it is far easier and a lot more fun to seduce life than to try and conquer it”

As epiphanies go that was one of my favourites….to seduce life. I’m a big fan of seduction. The whole idea excites me. To seduce life is to entice life to give you back what you want freely and lovingly. It requires a whole new skill set, but it sure sounds like fun doesn’t it? Admit it, wouldn’t it be great to have success and happiness given to you instead of having to take it or conquer it? Now that I think about it….that’s a seductive thought!

“nothing is good, bad or funny, but thinking makes it so”

Before all of you warriors come looking to impose your will on me for a perceived attack on your philosophy let it be known I’m okay with you guys. I really don’t care how you conduct your affairs. It’s just not for me and my tribe. While you are out conquering your worlds, we seducers will be out seducing ours.

“warriors compete and seducers create”

To a warrior life is a competition that they must win. To a seducer life is a game to be enjoyed and savoured win or lose. To a warrior happiness is delayed and then celebrated with the final victory. To a seducer happiness is in the process, it’s the game silly! Sure there is an extra boost of happiness in the winning, but it would be a hollow victory if the game was not enjoyable. What would be the point?

“what would it benefit a man if he conquered the world but didn’

t have any fun doing it?”

Seducers don’t see any benefit in delayed happiness. As I said earlier, delaying everyday happiness until the goal is achieved is pretty much like delaying sex until you are old. Life is too important to be taken seriously by us. Warriors as everyone knows are very serious on the path to victory, seducers not so much. In fact seriousness is terminal to us. If you see us being serious it’s probably just a game we are playing to mess with you. (big secret….we love messing with warrior’s heads).

“life is the only game where we get to make up own rules and yet so few do”

The reason so many people aspire to be warriors is because that is what they were taught by parents, teachers and self-help gurus. It is one way to win but it’s not the only one. In this book I will attempt to show you a better way to play the game of life. It’s a lot more fun, easier, plus the results can be even better than the warrior game. The really great seducers understand the importance of playing the game under their own rules. They are constantly searching for ways to amp up the fun. Seducers love surprise and unpredictability because they are as flexible as a breeze.

“you deserve a life of pleasant surprises and gifts, and that is what I promise to share in this book.

Like most of us you were probably taught that life is hard and difficult and then you die. Perhaps it’s time for a change of pace, time you joined us seducers who believe that life was meant to be fun, easy and overflowing with abundance. You choose….

Pssst....I've decided to start posting chapters from my book here so everyone can read it for free.   It would honor me if you would hit the f button and share it with your facebook friends!   Thanks.

Everything you need to know about advice

Seducers 4 Way Test

This was inspired by the 'Rotary Club 4 way test'  which is pretty good but I like mine a lot more.   Any new venture I contemplate will have to pass this test before I will seriously consider it.   This strikes me as a wondeful way to ensure success?    What do you think?

I also got thinking about failed projects and quickly realized that if I had applied this test, I would have never started them in the first place.   I challenge you to look back at some failed project in your past and put it to my test?  Would it have passed?

I'm going to print it off and put it on the wall by my desk as a reminder.  

Pssst....if you want to make me happy just hit the f button below and help me spread the word.   We just might help someone from making a big mistake!

The enlightenment test

When I first made up the image you see above I congratulated myself for my brilliant words.   Upon reflection maybe I wasn't so smart after all?  Because then I remembered these sage words of Ben Franklin...

and then there is this...

back to the drawing board....

Are you wound too tight?

"If you haven't got a screw loose you probably wound a little too tight"

Recently, I heard someone remark about another person that..."that guy is wound just a little too tight"

The comment was meant to describe a person who takes life just a little too serious. Someone who would benefit from letting go and perhaps having a little more fun.

So here are my top 6 ways to know if you are wound a little too tight?

6. You fail to see the humor in a situation when others do.
5. You see problems instead of solutions.
4. You find it easy to laugh at others, but not at yourself.
3. You have an over-whelming desire to be right all the time.
2. Success is more important than happiness and love.

And the number one sign that you are wound too tight.....

This article annoys the heck out of you!