Saturday, December 28, 2013
"Lucky people talk to more people, do more things and take chances every day"
Who wouldn't want to be lucky? Well the truth is we can all be luckier than we are today. All we need to do is take more chances. How many times have you heard this...you can't win if you don't play! What the line should be is....you can't win if you don't take a chance.
So if you want to get lucky and make a new friend or find a new partner? Take a chance and strike up a conversation with someone new every day.
Want to find a new business opportunity? Take a chance and contact someone successful and ask for some help.
Always wanted to write a book? Take a chance and start writing today. Or take a chance and contact an author and ask for advice.
Got a great idea that you are doing nothing with? Take a chance and share the idea with others to see if it is viable. So many worry that others will steal your idea but if you don't take a chance and test it, it probably never see the light of day. That's where regret is born.
Want to win the lotto? Take a chance and...buy a ticket...the odds are terrible but you can't win if you don't play.
Want to become lucky? Take a chance on something every day. Sooner or later your luck is going to improve.....I guarantee it! (the odds are in your favor)
My brilliant conclusion.....people who are luckier than me and probably just taking more chances! I can fix that....
Thursday, December 19, 2013
"Taking notes can make you appear to be more intelligent and persuasive"
Our brain makes assumptions all of the time. Some we are aware of but most are subconscious assumptions. Strange as it may seem we interpret a note taker as being more intelligent.
We perceive the note taker as being focused and thorough. It brings up images of Doctors and Lawyers who must get things recorded accurately. It also makes us feel that every word we say is important. And anyone focused so intenly on what I say must be intelligent. Right?
When someone is trying to persuade us and starts out by sincerely trying to understand our thoughts and beliefs, we pay attention. And we assume they are sincere because they take the time to record our thoughts. Note taking causes us to feel important and which in turn lowers our resistance to that person. We feel appreciated and understood.
When the cops are interviewing witnesses they take notes on what they are told. One of the reasons is because they know that the person being questioned is going to give more accurate answers when they see that their answers are being recorded.
The effect of note taking is also that most people start to open up and reveal the real objections to the persuasion.
And here's the real good stuff...
"When they feel they have been heard and understood their minds are open to hear what we are going to propose"
Note taking is a poweful persuasion skill!
* Use a quality pen not one of those company logo pens you swiped from the convenience store
* Use a quality pad or portfolio. Extra points... if it has a leather cover.
* Try to write down every dang word. That would be annoying. Just jog down important points. Extra points...if you say something like...'excuse me but that seems important I'd like make a note of that'
When you are note taking you do less talking and more listening!
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Sometimes I set out to write an article and then find out that someone has done all of the heavy lifting for me. This link is an eye opener. Please read it because I am certain that you will not only enjoy it but open your eyes to the super successful traits...enjoy!
and just so I can say I contributed something to this post.....
and just so I can say I contributed something to this post.....
Friday, December 13, 2013
How to seduce luck
“the more fun I have the luckier I get”
I find it useful and amusing to think of luck as a lady, but you ladies might find it more pleasing to think of luck as a male hunk like a George Clooney look-a-like, you go right ahead. So where I refer to Lady Luck you can substitute it for Lord Luck. The idea of seducing luck, to attract good fortune juices up my creativity. So play along with me and let’s have some fun.
This is no hocus pocus, it is a fact….those who believe in luck are more lucky than the non-believers. This is partly explained because those who believe in luck tend to be more extroverted and therefore make more contact with others, leaving themselves open to more opportunities for luck to occur.
It seems so obvious to me that the more face to face contacts you have the more possibility for luck to come into your life. Nowadays, it’s too easy to have contact through the social media like Facebook. I like Facebook for many reasons, however it will never replace the real thing. There is so much more going in face to face, belly to belly exchanges.
It takes real live human contact to create intimacy. And the deeper we connect with others the greater the chance for luck to bless us.
“to seduce Luck, it is a huge advantage to be likeable”
If you can’t be handsome or beautiful you should at least be loveable. As with anyone you want to seduce, you need to catch their attention and the quickest way is to be noticeably likeable. Being likeable includes the traits of; being humorous, curious, playful, generous and focused on others instead of yourself. The ego centered and arrogant have to do things the old fashioned way and work heir tails off, because Lady and Lord Luck are like us, in that they are attracted to those who are attractive to other people.
“Lady and Lord Luck love good times and good people”
The lucky get luckier because their good moods actually allows them to take in more visual information than those in bad moods. They are more attentive to their surroundings and notice opportunities more readily. These serendipitous folks are that way because; they feel good and are more willing to try something new, just for the fun of it.
As an experiment, I wrote on an index card…Why am I so darn lucky? I carried that card around with me for a few days and had some ‘Mind Wandering Fun’ with it. When I thought of a reason for why I am so lucky I wrote it on the back of the card. Wow, it wasn’t long before I filled up the card and 4 more to boot. Turns out, I’m a lot luckier than even I thought.
The most interesting outcome of my little experiment was how it lifted my spirits. I felt lighter and happier. One morning I stopped in at the convenience store to pick up a coffee. When I entered the store the clerk greeted me with, ‘how are you today Eduardo?’ I laughingly told her, ‘I’m great and feeling lucky today’. She laughed and I proceeded to get my coffee. When I went to pay she said…’this one’s on me, I like lucky people’. And that’s pretty much the way my day went. I was believing I was lucky and people I came into contact with, wanted to reach out to me to get some of my good vibes. I highly recommend you try it!
“open yourself up to more than you wanted”
When you are too fixated on what you want, you may miss that Lord or Lady Luck wants to give you even more. It is helpful with your desires and wishes, to tag this phrase (it’s powerful)….‘this or something better’. I often wonder how many times when I limited myself by being focused on only one thing or one person and missed the chance for something better. I sure don’t want to limit Lady Luck’s gifts.
“you can’t stumble upon luck sitting on your butt”
The Roman philosopher Seneca said, ‘luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity’. Or as I once heard a motivational speaker say, ‘roast duck doesn’t just fly into your mouth’. It would be just silly to think that luck is going to find you without any effort on your part. On the other hand, I’m not entirely buying Seneca’s line either. There is more than preparation (hard work) and opportunity required…there is most frequently luck as well. We would do well to do all the can to facilitate luck.
“the lady wants to be appreciated”
There are many logical reasons why expressing and feeling gratitude attracts good fortune. First, it puts in you in the good feeling state that luck likes. Next, that which gets rewarded gets repeated. Just like the ladies, Lord Luck loves a compliment and a gracious thank you. The more grateful we are, the more we increase the possibility of good fortune. No excuses permitted, there is always something to be grateful for. In fact, there is always a lot be to be grateful for.
“don’t hang out with the unlucky”
I know this may seem harsh but the reality is those who are constantly attracting bad luck are going to continue to bring more bad luck into their lives (unless they were lucky enough to buy this book, I said somewhat modestly). This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do things for unlucky people. Just don’t spend too much of your time with them, until they change the behaviour that’s attracting that bad luck.
“be the luck you desire”
No, that doesn’t mean I’m going to dress up in drag to attract luck! Lady Luck wouldn’t like me to be anything but my manly self. What I mean is that while you are waiting for Lord Luck to favour you, be someone else’s luck. Isn’t that a beautiful idea? There are always those with less luck than you, so it’s fun and easy to become their luck. The Lady and the Lord, find that very seductive!
“seduce everyone to increase your luck”
You never know who is going to lay some luck on you. Sometimes it comes from the most unusual sources. So it makes good sense to seduce everyone you come into contact with. Make them feel good and who knows what good fortune they might bestow on you. Besides it’s fun and easy game seducing everyone.
“ready fire aim”
Your chances of being lucky go up dramatically if you take more chances. So be bold. Mistakes are just the way we learn. Sometimes you are right and sometimes you just luck out. If what you are tying doesn’t work, make some changes and try again.
You’ll be a lot luckier if you remember this…‘don’t try harder, try different.’
“never forget, it’s just a game”
Take life or luck too seriously and you squeeze the fun out of it. There will always be some mystery and surprise when it comes to luck and love and that’s the way it should be. Seducing Lady or Lord Luck is the most fun you can have with your pants on….good luck!
“luck is looking for the needle in the haystack and finding the farmer’s daughter”
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
While I was studying how con artists work, I came to the realization that they use a lot of the same techniques I teach in persuasion courses. YIKES! The only difference between con artists and me is 'intent'.
I teach persuasion techniques in order for you and clients to reach a mutually beneficial outcome. However, there is always the possiblity that some people will use them to manipulate you. I'm comfortable with my intent.
So how do con artists work?
1. Extreme likeability. Con artists appear to be generous and kind. The will often give you small gifts or do you favors to win your confidence. They project warmth and sincerity and confidence. The attitbutes of people we might say are charismatic.
2. Client intelligence or should I say victim intelligence. A con artist wants to know everything possible about his/her mark. They want to know your likes and dislikes. To gather this 'intel' they will search your social media, do internet searches and ask a ton of questions to get to know you. The idea is to get you to talk twice as much as they do. And who doesn't like to talk about themselves?
3. Seek the similarities. First they want to find out everything they can that they share in common with you. Next, they will fake similarties to further gain your confidences. They want to appear to be similar to you so that you will lower your resistance. This builds trust and likeability. Often it will feel to their victim that they have found their soul mate or a brother or sister.
4. Ask for a small favor followed by a much bigger favor. This is the 'Ben Franklin' principal. Old Ben found out that if you ask for a small favor, the other person starts to like you (after all he did a kindness for you) and then is more open to a bigger favor later. This has been researched and proven to work.
5. Learns your emotional triggers. Your passions, your hurts and your desires. And most common amongst con artists is to appeal to your greed.
6. Listen and make adjustments. Not every con goes smoothly so they are careful to listen and observe everything you do and say. They need to pay attention to your body language....to read you like a book. Only when everything looks positive will they attempt to give you their amazing pitch or plead for your help.
7. Show immense gratitude and appreciation for who and what you are. It is difficult not to like and trust someone who sees the greatness in you that others don't appreciate.
8. Repeat back what you say to them. This makes you feel like they really are paying intense interest in you.
9. To gain your respect they will show you their (fake) accomplishments and credentials. This works even better if someone else does the bragging about the con's attibutes. After all he is too humble to brag, right?
10. Only after they feel that you like, trust and respect them will they make the pitch that is going to seperate you from your money.
I'm not trying to teach anyone how to be a con artist however how can it not be a good thing to know how they operate. If you gut instinct tells you something isn't right..trust it. However, if we all good at that intution thing no one would ever get conned.
Bonus....whenever someone is trying to sell you something observe how many of these techniques they are using? It will be an eye opener. Cheers!
Friday, December 6, 2013
Have you ever tried positive affirmations to help you manifest some goal or great desire? Millions have and millions have been disappointed. Some will say it works wonders. My psychology friends say research proves otherwise.
Here is what research says about positive affirmations...
When you repeatedly use a positive affirmation your brain interprets this as if it had already happened. So if you were to say for example.....My business is prospering and I am in a position to use my wealth to help others achieve their goals and dreams etc. Sounds nice huh? But what happens? Nothing.
Your brain interprets as if this were already so, there is no need to take any action. Your subconsious feels like you already have achieved that beautiful affirmation and you start to feel really good about it. So why would your subconscious be motivated to do anything?
So what's a girl to do?
Here are the two magic words that can actually put you on the path to realizing that goal or dream...
Will I ____________________________.
Let me give an example of how it worked for me recently? A few months ago I had a talk to give to a management group. I was highly motivated to make it a success. So I wrote this on a card and carried it around with me for the 2 weeks preceding my talk.
A kept the card where I could see it and contemplated the question often. As a result I started accumulating ideas for my presentation. By the time it was time to do my talk I felt super prepared and yet still slightly nervous. I think I was nervous because right up till I took the stage I was still thinking....'will I be able to give a ' knock their socks off presentation'. And guess what.....I did!
After my presentation those in attendance took turns giving an evaluation. Almost every soul present gave a terrific thumbs up for the talk. Felt pretty darn good. So I know this works like magic because it focuses you on moving towards the goal. You never stop improving. Then as you keep improving your confidence grows. You might like me still be nervous until success is achieved but that's a good thing.
It is so wonderfully simple and yet it works like magic. A week ago I decided to use it to get me off my procrastinating butt and finish my next book. It has been progressing a break neck snails speed. So here is my new card...
Yikes...that's a little scary to contemplate? Finish my book in less than 60 days? My last book took 2 years to write. I made that new card a week ago and have written every day since. Each day I write I feel better about myself. I'm starting to think I've kicked procrastinations butt.
Will I do it?
Honestly, I don't know but I do know I'm progressing quite nicely, thank you. I've done more writing in the past week then I did in the previous 2 months. I find that the further I progress the more motivated I have become. I know that my evil enemy procrastination is always out there with a cold beer or a glass of wine, ready to throw me into a pile of 'never going to happen' but my resolve is growing daily.
Sheesh...if this works imagine what else I could accomplish? Look out ladies I might just put you on my list of....Will I ______________________?
So will you try it?
I truly hope so and I would be thrilled if you let me know how it works for you? Feel free to leave a comment or to send me a private email at edsemail@ shaw.ca Wouldn't it be cool if I could use you as a success story in my book?
Pssst.....I could use your help? Please hit the f button below and share this with your facebook friends. The more people I can enlist to try this magical method the more I can prove it works. And of course helping others is what we do like to do, right? Thanks!
Thursday, December 5, 2013
"The sale is made or lost before you ask"
When I started out in real estate we were taught the following mantras which it turns out are complete baloney...
1. Always ask for the sale or
2. Be constantly closing.
Here is why this is nonsense! When you ask for agreement or the sale, if the buyer is not ready you just created resistance. If the answer turns out to be no, you've just added 'great' resistance. Each time a buyer says no, the resistance to your product, service or idea intensifies. It's like asking a person out on a date. The more 'no's' you get, what is the likelyhood you will ever get a 'yes'. Ouch!
And the more resistance between you and the buyer the more stress that is built up. It is stressful on the buyer to be asked for the sale before they are not ready to make a committment. It is stressful on you to deal with a 'no'. Or to be asking for agreement when you know the likely answer is...NO! How can that be good?
So here's what you need to know that most don't....
"Your first objective is NOT to make the sale it is start a relationship"
In order to build a relationship you must first get by that persons resistance. They may have resistance to you, your ideas, your product or your service. To get past this resisantance you must first attempt to gain their. ....trust, respect and likeablity. You don't need them in equal amounts. Sometimes you only need one quality to make the sale or persuasion. Often likeablity is enough.
Allow me to give you an example. Oprah has millions of fans who trust, respect and love her. When she makes a book club recommendation it is a guarantee that the author is about to make millions of sales. Her fans don't need logic to buy the book, they have Oprah's word on it. Enough said.
The obvious next question is how to gain someone's trust, respect and likeability? Glad you asked grasshopper. And here is the part most people don't understand.
"First Prepare to Persuade"
Find out as much as you can about the person you want to influence. If you are going to attempt to build a relationship you need to know their likes, dislikes, goals and motivations. I call this...'Client Intel' (just because it sounds cool instead of saying something creepy like spying...lol). It seems obvious that if I want to get you to like, trust or respect me, I first need to know what they like, trust and respect.
Some tips of gaining 'Client Intel'...
1. Talk to anyone you know who also knows that person.
2. Check their social media....twitter, facebook etc
3. Do an internet search on the person
4. Check their company website for any info on the person
5. Ask the person whenever you can about their likes, dislikes, problems and goals.
Ask them about competitors that they trust and respect. Ask lots of questions!
6. Build a 'Confidential Client Intel' file ( just trying to sound James Bond
cool again) but do keep and grow your client info it is vital to your ability to
I will expand on this in later articles but here is your takeaway today...
1. The sale is made before you ask
2. You must find ways to lower their reistance to you, your product and service and
3. Find ways to gain their trust, respect and likeability
4. Your first objective is not to make the sale it is start a relationship
5. Prepare to Persuade
6. Gather 'Client Intel'
7. Have some fun!
We are just scratching the surface here friends so come back and I'll share the secrets of how to become more likeable, and gain trust and respect. It's the most fun you can have with your pants on (I'd like to promise you that I'll be more professional sounding however we both that's not going to happen anytime soon).
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
"Fake it till you make it"
I doubt most people that know me today would realize what an introvert I was when I was a kid. Even now I don't consider myself an extrovert although I have sold millions of dollars of real estate, managed offices and given talks to hundreds of people at a time. So what is my secret?
Yep, I faked it until I actually got confident and even good at sales, management and public speaking. I watched friends and people I admired do their thing and then I pretended I was them. In fact I still do it at times. And I learned a few little secrets along the way....
People love to talk about themselves...
I started out in life by always asking a lot of questions. At first it was because I was more comfortable if the spotlight wasn't on me. Plus we all know how much most people like to talk about themselves, their lives, their interests, ideas and beliefs. So I didn't have to be a brilliant conversationalist because they were more than happy to carry the conversation. Turns out there are a lot of benefits to this approach..
1. They will tell you how to make them like you. By asking questions you can find out the similarites you have with them. The more you have in common the more they tend to like you
2. They will tell you what they don't like so you know which topics to avoid.
3. By listening intently like you really care, they assume you do and that helps form an initial liking.
4. They assume you are smart. That one still blows me away. By speaking less and listening intently you have time to reflect on what's been said and are more likely to say things that are perceived as more intelligent than most people. Extroverts have a tendency to shoot from the lip too much and often shoot themselves in the foot occasionally. Quieter people are assumed to be deeper thinkers (and often are).
5. You can pick up clues to mirror the other person. Tone and speed of voice and even breathing patterns. You can watch for body language and mirror that as well.
6. You can repeat back some of things they said and then they really start to like you.
7. And finally when they come up for air, they are more likely to listen to your persuasion. For most people if they've talked 4/5 of the time, they feel obligated to give you time to say something and might actually listen to you.
Here is your take away...
* ask lots of questions
* listen like you really care
* seek out the similarites between the two of you
* repeat back some of the things they say
* act like you are someone you know who is confident and persuasive
Fake it till you make it because it works!
Monday, December 2, 2013
"Reduce to the ridiculous" (read to the end or you'll miss the good stuff)
Imagine you go into a retail store and you see this...
Pretty irrisitable, right? And of course that is a very common tactic retailers use to part us from our money.
You've seen those late night commercials for the latest gizmo? They follow a format like this...
This incredible gizmo normally retails for $120..
But wait today only you can own this marvelous technology for ONLY....$19.95
That's right only $19.99
But wait it gets better....order right now and we'll give two, that's right two of our fantastic gtizmo's for $19.99
But wait there's more....order today and we'll give you____________ for no extra charge.
This technique of 'reduce to ridiculous' is highly effective. And we know it works because they run those annoying commercials endlessly. They wouldn't do it if it didn't work.
Reduce to ridiculous method #2...
Car dealers (and realtors) use the same technique in a different way. E.g
First they quote the regular car price.........$24,000
Then the reduced price (today only)..........$21,900
Then the monthly payments .......................... $397
Or better yet bi-weekly...................................$194
See how 'reduce to ridiculous works'? We started talking at $24,000 and end up at only $194. Our mind just can't stop thinking about the only $194. It's such an incredible deal...but only today? Better grab it before its gone!
Now time for me to read your mind......'ok Guru nothing new here, tell us something we didn't know?'
Reduce to ridiculous method #3
Imagine you are at one of my brilliant talks. At the end of the talk it is time for me to pitch my best selling book? Here's how I would do it step by step...
1. Tell them what the book can do for them.
2. Tell them why them would be smart to own it.
3. Then I would say....the first question people usually ask me is...how much is your book worth? My response....conservatively 100's of dollars and maybe more.
4. A chuckle.....but I won't charge you that much
3. Then give them a deal.....normally my book sells for $24.95 but today because you were so much fun its yours for only $19
So using the reduce to ridiculous principal, I started at $100s and ended up at $19. The little chuckle is signal that I'm only joking however I have still subconsiouly planted a big number in their head.
How can you use this to your advantage?
It doesn't matter whether you are selling a product or a service. Just throw out a wild number, chuckle and give you real price. It will seem to them they are getting a great deal.
Non-profits use this also. They might start out asking for BIG donation and the reduce to ridiculous. Start out asking for say...$500 and then add but every penny counts so any donation will put smiles on the faces of those poor kids.
Stated out at $500 and ended up at pennies. Of course they know no one is going to give pennies. It works like magic.
Note.....even you don't use this or don't approve of the tactic, isn't it a good thing to aware of the technique when it is being used on you? And shouldn't your family and friends be made aware of it?