You can create a miracle today. I guarantee it!

Some folks don't believe in miracles but I can prove them wrong and its sooo easy to do!  And wait it gets even better...you can create a miracle today.   Let me give you a little example to demonstrate the truth of what I just told you.

"The thing about miracles is that they are easy as pie to create for others"   

 

A few days ago I was in the grocery store picking up a few supplies.   Behind me in the line was a very scruffy looking older guy in a power scooter.    If every there was a down on his luck looking fellow it was him.   He looked like he hadn't seen a shower in weeks and his clothing was even worse.   I didn't know his story but obviously it was a tough one.

 

As the teller was ringing through my order I could hear him talking to himself.   He was counting his money or should I say change (no bills) trying to figure out if he had enough to pay for his food.    A quick glance and I could see that he couldn't of had ten bucks worth of food.  

 

When I paid for my stuff I handed the clerk an extra $20 and told her to pay for his order and then give him the change.   She looked at me like I'd lost my marbles and said...why?   I said because I can and because I want to.   I then left.   He hadn't heard the conversation and was shocked when he went to pay.   As I left the store I glanced back and I could see he was crying and smiling at the same time.     Miracle created!

 

"The smallest of efforts from us can create miracles for others"

 

My take aways is..miracles are easy to create for others and maybe  if you believe in karma when you create enough miracles for others one will come your way.

 

A few years ago I wrote this little poem....enjoy!

 

(click on picture to enlarge)

So who are you going to create a miracle for?

 

 

  



The amazing power of a good hug

 

"Fear is laughable in the embrace of a great hug"

I had to chuckle when I read a study that showed that fear disapates when we are hugged. I mean really, didn't we already know that. Every parent learns instintively that a scared child can be calmed down with a good loving hug. And yet I do keep learning more about the power of a hug all the time. Let me tell you a little story....

I was the MC at a friends wedding. During the wedding ceremony I could not help but notice that the Maid of Honor looked distressed. After the ceremony was over I took her aside and asked if everything was ok? She told me she was freaked out about giving the toast to the bride. She really surprised me since she isn't the bashful type. But she told me that just thinking about standing up and having all eyes on her was making her sick.

She showed me pages and pages of notes. I think I'd be nervous if I had to read from all of those papers? Then I got an idea! I told her to put away the papers and just speak from the heart about her best friend. I also assurred her that I make her so relaxed she would enjoy her moment.

It was time to introduce the head table. When I got to her, here is how I introduced her....'and this is my friend Marilyn who is also the brides best friend. Marilyn is one the sweetest and kindest people I know and a world class hugger. And if any you people doubt me...just go check her out yourself!'

A handsome young man leaped to his feet and shouted out, "I'll check her out". The crowd roared as he went up and gave her a long enthusiastic hug. Marilyn was laughing along with the crowd. Then 3 more young men took up the challenge. The room was rocking with laughter and just when it started to subside the preacher stood up said he wanted to check her out as well. Not this was getting hillarious. I've never seen Marilyn laughs so hard and she is a girl who loves to laugh.

Immediately after the preacher had his hug I asked her to give her toast to the bride. She gave a beautiful loving toast and did it with good humor and grace. It was perfect!

Hugging releases the cuddle homone oxytocin into your brain. The beautiful thing about oxytocin is that it reaches the brain almost instantaniously. Oxytocin has a dampening effect on fear.

So if you are ever nervous about public speaking just get some good hugs first. It works amazingly well. Toastmaster should promote my idea and it would speed up helping people get over their fears of public speaking. And of course its fun and just plain feels good.

BONUS TIP......some people get cold clamy hands when they are about to stand up in front of crowd. Here is my solution to that, get a hot drink (coffee or tea) and cup it in your hands before you get up. The warmth will also help to calm you.

 

Using seductive words to persuade

“choose your words wisely for they can make your life fun, easy and abundant or hard and difficult”

Words seduce and words repel. Some words are instantly seductive to others. Words like; love, peace, admire, adore, cherish, sincere and appreciate, are just a few of the words that have an immediate effect on others. Stringing words together can motive a country, such as…ask not what your country can do for you, or..I have a dream. Words to a life seducer are like paint to a painter, we can’t create or entice without them.

“the most seductive word to all of us is our name”

Calling someone by their name means we recognize them as a valuable human being and not a servant. We love to hear our name, it validates us. It makes our communication personal. You will never be a life seducer if you don’t use a person’s name at every opportunity. Lucky for us, so many people wear name tags, sadly so many ignore the opportunity to make a waitress or clerk feel human.

I wish I were better at remembering names, but I can say I’m working on it. I understand just how important it is. I remember once, I was phoning an airline and could not get through. It took two days to make contact. By that time I was pretty annoyed. I let loose with a little tirade on the representative. Half way through it suddenly dawned on me that wasn’t going to accomplish anything.

I stopped and asked for the ladies name which she said was Jennifer and I insisted she call me by my first name. 'Jennifer' I said, 'I need to apologize I was just incredibly frustrated and I realize it wasn’t your fault. You must be tired of hearing people like me blow steam at you, again sorry.' The phone went quiet and then she said….’yes I’ve been getting yelled at all morning and it hasn’t been any fun since our reservation system went down’. I said, ‘well if its any consolation Jennifer, it helps on this end of the line, that you have such a sweet voice‘. Jennifer had just been totally seduced, she gave me a $200 rebate and a seat upgrade for my inconvenience. In short order we were both laughing and joking about dumb people and dumb airlines, it was like we were in on an inside joke. But even more important than that, I got reinforced in my thick skull that….words matter a lot (especially names)!

“don’t let anyone call you Mr, Mrs, Miss, Madame or Sir”

There is a reason the police deal with people by calling them Mr or Mrs. They are trained not to get personal. If they allow the conversation to get personal they would be more tempted to let you off of the speeding ticket. You don’t give friends tickets so they keep as they say, a professional distance. You won’t seduce anyone who greets you formally. You need their first name and you need to give them yours. Make it personal as quick as you can.

TIP..... end all communications with their first name to make it more personal and memorable.   E.g.    Instead of saying....Mary it was great talking to you...say,   It was great talking to you, lets do this again Mary!    You will be surprised at how effective it is in helping you to be more persuasive. 

“some words are especially seductive in that they make others want to be of assistance to us”

Help That's a hard word for most to ignore. Can you help me makes the other person feel powerful and triggers a desire to exercise that power. Here is a powerful way to ask for help; I don't know whether you have the power or authority but I could sure use some help....then give your request. You would be amazed at how many times people will bend over backwards to fill your request!

Pssst....can you help me spread the word by hitting the f button below the article.   It will then automatically get posted on your facebook page for your friends to see.  Thanks for your help friend!

Because When you ask for something just adding the word because followed by almost any kind of reason has proven to be highly effective. Heck, it even works on kids. To say, 'Johnny go clean your room' as every parent knows, goes in one ear out the other faster than the speeed of light. However, saying..'Johnny please clean your room because we have company coming', makes a surprising difference in the response you will get. And for those of you who are managers this works wonders on employees. You can thank me later....because it works!

"some people pay compliments like it was coming straight out of their bank account"

Compliments are highly seductive to women, men and children (I guess that covers everyone). It's hard to resist a flatterer when we want to belive what they are saying is true. One small well said compliment can turn a relationship back on course, soften a boss's cold heart and as I found out get you an upgrade on an airline. The art of the compliment once mastered is like a free pass to a seducer. Practice it as often as the situation allows and most important of all....have fun!

My favorite compliment is...God was just showing off when he made you. I layed it on an elderly lady clerk the other day and she giggled like a school girl. She would have given me everything in the store if she could have. I got something better, a feeling that I had really made someone's day brighter. As I said, they don't have to believe it they just have to want to believe it.

"words are hollow without sincerity"

Sincerity is the cement that strengthens your words so they can stand up to the ravages of a sceptical world. Warmth and eye contact mixed with the right words convey the sincerity that is so essential to a good seducer. Oh, and mix in the right body language and a master seducer you will be. I love words. So this is a topic I could go on and on about. However, the mark of a good writer they say is to know when to shut up so I will.

Lighten up and load up on profits

"Rock a bye lady

you just paid more

so happy and relaxed

inside of my store"

Ok, I'll admit to being a pretty crappy song writer but be careful about your purchases when you are as my little ditty says...happy and relaxed. The reason is that when you feel that way you will pay more for a product or service.

When researchers tested very relaxed participants as to what they would pay for a product or service they found that those who were relaxed over-valued items by on average 15%. This was compared to participants in the study who felt equally pleasant but not as relaxed.

 

Here's why....in a relaxed environment the brain does not perceive a threat. This alows for thinking more about the positive benefits of a product or service. It's then easy to think at an abstract level about how the product or service might be used to your advantage.

A less relaxed person is more likely to focus on the features and measure them against the price. Thus they are more critical in their purchase decision. They are on guard against what they might deem as any sales pressure. The relaxed person because they feel no threat are open to suggestions.

So Guru how do I take this to an even higher level in my business?

Glad you asked grasshopper. First, let me ask you a question. When are you most relaxed? If you said, when I am laughing you win the big prize. The big prize is more sales, better persuasion and more success. Pretty good prize huh?

Now you know that if you can make them laugh the door to endless opportunities is wide open. Boring kills sales. Laughter is directly proportional to success. And this my friends is your big advantage because while others are trying to win over customers with professionalism, superior product or lower price you will be laughing all the way to easy street.

 

 

Do you know the magical numbers and why they are magical?

The magical number for business success is 3.   

 

 

Research has shown that a work place will be most productive if employees receive at least 3 positive comments or impressions for every negative one.  Ok, the actual ratio is 2.9 to 1 but lets not get too picky.   This is called the 'Losada Ratio'.

 

Once it falls below that magical ratio discontent sets in and people start planning their escape or they simply stop putting in a full effort.   Above that ratio and people flourish.  Sounds simple right?   And guess what?   It is just that simple.

 

This simple ratio meets my criteria of....fun, easy and abundant!   Start looking for ways to give compliments and positive feedback and you will be richly rewarded.   And this isn't just all positivity stuff because it still allows the manager/owner to be real.   Let's face it sometimes something negative needs to be said.   Just remember the ratio   of 3 to 1.  It's pure gold!

 

 

The magical number for relationships is 5.

 

To maintain a strong and loving relationship the ratio changes to 5 to 1 positive feedbacks to negative ones.    Yeah, we could have guessed it?    It takes more positivity to maintain a relationship than a business.   Oh well, it's worth it!

 

The research this is based on was done by John Gottman and has been tested extensively.    In fact the guy can predict within minutes which relationships will last and which are headed for the divorce courts.   How does he do it?   Simple he give couples contentious topics like money problems or sex problems and then counts the ration of positive to negative comments and body language.   For instance when one partner sighs or looks skyward when the other talks that is a negative impression. 

 

 

 

So could the secret to successful relationships be that simple?  Yes!   It does mean however that you both need to be vigilent to seek out opportunities to say something nice.   Here are a few suggestions:

 

* express your gratitude for everything the other person does for you

* say thank you

* comment on things you normally take for granted

* make it a habit to notice changes in your spouse (new dress, hair cut etc)

* remember and express the reasons you originally fell in love

 

Or even simpler....cut out the negative comments where possible.   Before you make that less than desireable comment ask yourself...is it really necessary to say it!

 

CAUTION.....don't go overboard with the positivity thing or it will become meaningless and unreal.   Life is sometimes a little messy and we all have our ups and downs. 

 

P>S>   I wish someone would have told me this 30 years ago!   

 

 

  

Fun and easy persuasion tips

Fun and easy persuasion tips

Imagine that you are at this tropical beach. It is a beautiful day in paradise with a gentle breeze off of the ocean. You are in that hammock gently swaying back and forth. You are warm, relaxed and peaceful. The sun feels sooo good on your body. You are totally contented, peaceful and happy.

Now think about me the writer. How do you feel about my personality? Odds are that if you really allowed yourself to imgine being in that hammock on the beach that you will feel better about me also. Just by imagining being warm and relaxed improves your feelings about me or anyone else you immediately come into contact with.

So why am I telling you this? Because the feeling of warmth is very seductive. If you want to persuade someone to your point of view or buy your product or service you should always try to warm them up first. This is a persuasion technique called priming. It is priming you with a good feeling before introducing any request.

I'm not saying that you should bring them pictures of tropical beaches (but it might help). There are many ways to warm up a person. Here are a few...

Give them a hot drink. Researchers found that even just holding a hot drink (without drinking it) caused people to feel warmer towards others. They also found that when people were given a hot drink they became more generous and more likely to give to others. So you want your sweetie to do something for you, give them a hot drink first.

A warm handshake warms up you both. Now if you live in a cold climate location you need to ensure that you warm up your hands before shaking hands with someone. If you are going to introduced to someone and if you can discretely warm up your hands you are going to perceived much better. Just rub your hands together rapidly. They won't know why but they will instantly feel a closer bond with you by shaking a warm hand. Cool huh?

Who doesn't love a good hug? Sadly there are a very few who don't like to be touched but not many. The problem is its not a good idea to hug people you just met. But if you are going to persuade someone you know and you can safely hug them they will melt in agreement. Just thinking about this makes me want a hug?

A great smile will warm any heart. You've got so use it! It's darn near impossible to resist returning a great smile.

Warm words. Reaserchers found that when bell hops went to carry bags from a room for guests that if they mentioned it was a beautiful sunny day their tips increased. Just talking about a sunny day was enough to warm up the other person. So words matter. Oh by the way did I mention its going to be a beautiful sunny day today? And how would you feel about buying me a Baileys and coffee?

And finally....

That's right....its good to have beautiful sunny images to warm you up and your clients.

Now that I've warmed you up to my ideas, would you like to buy a great book?

Never giving up is....stupid!

Do you know how something seem to make sense but actually don't?    Persistance can be one of those things.   Some will tell us to never ever give up!  But that's silly because some things and some relationships just won't ever work.  

The other day I was watching the TV program Dragon's Den and watched as some would be entrepeneurs explained how they would never ever give up their dream.  Sounds good right?   Except their business model or idea was crappy.   They needed to give up and try something different. 

The above cartoon is a slight but important modification of W.C. Fields original quote.  The only difference is he said to give up and I say try something different.