Thursday, May 3, 2012

How to gain influence (the shortcut you need to know)

"We like and trust those who seem to share the most similarities to ourselves"

We have been conditioned through the ages to be suspicious of those people that are different from ourselves.  I imagine that served us well back in the caveman days.   Some guy shows up on the savanna with a different language and clothing and our ancestors had be on alert as he might intend  to harm us or steal our food supply.   Differnces had to be noted or the cost of indifference could be immense.

Fast forward a couple of thousand years and we still feel more comfortable with people who are like us.   The more similarities we find the more comfortable we feel.  So we are conditioned through evolution is to be more trusting and to be influenced most  by those who seem like us.  

"It isn't who you know that counts, its who you know that likes you"

The shortest path to gaining influence  over others is to seek out similarities.    The quicker we can find the similarities, the quicker we will be liked and thus gain the opportunity to influence.    Sales success  is nearly impossible until we can gain some measure of trust.  And trust is most easily gained by those we like.   Research has  proven beyond any doubt that we trust those in whom we find similarites.  Well, you get the picture....

How can I use this to my advantage?

Whenever you meet someone make it a priority to find out what you have in common.

*  When you find you have something in common...explore it further.

*  Make a note of your similarties for further reference

*  In any future communications or meetings bring up the simlarities before trying to sell someone.

*  Offer to make introductions or connections to others who share your similarties (build a network)

*  If you are giving a talk or presentation, find out what you have in common with the audience.

REMEMBER...the more similarities you can find the more likely that you will gain trust and become influential.  


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