Wednesday, November 27, 2013

How to build trust in seconds

"Our brains are wired to make snap decisions about people"

Within a mere 30 to 60 seconds we will form an opinion about someone.   We will have decided whether we think they are competent, likeable, confident, have status, and most important whether we can trust them.  In fact it's impossible not to make those snap judgements about people.

So what are we basing those snap decisions on?   Because if we know that answer then we can easily prepare to persuade another person and gain their trust.   The answers are surprisingly simple...

* Their physical appearance.  We trust some faces and distrust others.  Attractive and healthy looking people have an advantage.

* What they wear.   Do they dress like they care and do they dress like us. 

* Warmth and confidence (the main components of charisma)

* Are they givers or takers?

* Their communication skills

In short we judge a book by its cover, so it just makes sense to present an attractive cover.   Yeah, that sounds superficial but why argue with what works?

Now would you like to know the #1 way to build trust quickly?  

Seek the similarities!

The more we feel that people are like us the more we give them our trust.   Our expectations often hijack our ability to be objective.   Someone seems to be like us so we expect them to be like us.    We have so many biasis and prejudices that operate on an unconsious level.   We seek comfort and we are comfortable with those who seem to be like us.

Prepare to persuade..

Now a days its easy to find out information about someone you want to persuade.  Internet searches and social media like facebook reveal a lot about most people.  Do your research and look for things you have in common with that person.   Talk to common friends or associates to find out their goals, likes, hobbies and other interests.    

An introductory comment like....'hey I heard that you are into mortotbikes'   or 'a friend told me that you volunteer at the Womens Shelter'  followed up of course with...'me too" builds an instant bond.   It lowers resistance and starts to build trust.   They are one of us!

Remember the more similarities, the greater the instant trust!

4 ways to build likeability...

1.  Reciprocity.    Show up with a small gift.    It could be a thermos of hot coffee, a copy of an Ag magazine, a personalized pen or ball cap or an idea that would in some way improve their farm operation or life.   Even  a sincere compliment seems like a gift.  

2.  Think about the most likeable people you know.   Ask yourself....why are they so likeable?  Then do that.

3.  Show up with a positive warm energy and forget about trying to be too serious.  Too much serious sucks the energy out of everyone.   Lighten up.

4.  Be happy to see them and they will be happy to see you.  

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