Wednesday, September 8, 2010
How Seducers Build Trust
“warriors and seducers understand the importance of trust. They just go about it differently.”
Warriors understand the time honoured practices such as; honour, truth and keeping your word, as well as your promises. Over time their efforts pay off and they gain the trust of others. This method works fine but as I said…it takes time (sometimes a heck of a lot of time).
“seducers are always looking for the path of least resistance”
Since seducers believe that there is always more than one answer, they are attuned to all possibilities. It is great fun for them to look beyond the obvious. They learn things that warriors don’t take time for, and that makes the process fun, easy and much quicker. The great lesson for seducers is...
“trust doesn’t always have to be earned”
Sometimes trust is given freely just because we like someone. Studies have proven that we are always quicker to trust those we like. And likeability is a learned behaviour. To a seducer, it is just as important to be likeable as it is to be honourable and truthful.
“if you don’t trust and believe that life is on your side, it becomes hard and difficult”
It’s easy to be optimistic if you think that life is on your side. It’s that knowing, that somehow things will work out. And let’s get real here…we don’t trust negative people! We do tend to trust the optimistic soul that displays confidence in a good outcome for us.
“passion is seductive”
The one quality essential for leadership is passion. It’s damn tough to give your trust to someone who is complacent. Throughout the ages, passionate leaders have swayed the public and gained their trust, whether they deserved it or not. If you are looking for a shortcut to trust, passion is it.
“seducers know that a spotlight shared or given away, will always find it‘s way back to the giver”
Warriors love the spotlight and see it as one of the rewards for their hard work. Seducers also love the spotlight, but understand the value of sharing or putting that spotlight on someone else. Singing someone else’s praises, especially to a third party is a real trust builder. How can you not trust someone who tells your boss or a friend about how valuable you are? If they tell you the same directly, it’s not near as effective. You may just think, they are making it up to gain something from you.
“trust given is trust returned”
When someone puts trust in us, it is near impossible to not trust them in return. Having someone believe in our potential or skills, creates a bond where trust is easy and natural. Being open and transparent with us, means that it’s ok to trust the other person. This is what reciprocity is all about.
“and the best I saved for the last”
The skill that breaks down resistance faster than the speed of light is humour. No sooner do we share a laugh then the walls of mistrust disappear. As an old sales manger once said to me…make ‘em laugh and their wallets will open. He could have said their hearts too, and he would have been right. Humour is so seductive that it needs it’s own chapter….