Tuesday, October 15, 2013

3 words that will make you more persuasive

In order become a powerfully persuasive person you need to understand how to get past a persons resistance. 

Reistance is our defence mechanism to shield us from being sold on a product, service or a person.   No one wants to be sold anything.   Oh sure, sometimes we want to buy but we don't like to be sold.  Being sold is to feel pressure to buy and our resistance rises as soon as we detect that is happening.

So here's how to slip by the resistance...

What if....

Imagine that you are asking someone out on a date.   Typically you might say something like....Would you like to go for dinner and a movie on Friday night?  

The person being asked has to make a snap decision.   The pressure and stress builds as the recipient of the request ponders your question.   And if the answer is no, the door has just slammed shut on you and resistance to you is building.

Each no you get builds more resistance.   So if I keep asking and keep hearing no, I am getting further away from a sucessful response. 

At the time of rejection you will both want to retreat and try forget the experience.

What if, instead I tried this on a lady......What if I were to ask you to go for dinner and a movie on Friday night, how would you feel about that?

Remember, I only asked her what if?   I didn't really ask her out.   So there is little or no pressure because I was just asking her thoughts on my speculative request.   So if her answer is no I don't think that would work  Nothing is lost we can carry on as usual.  

However, if she says she would like that, then I could take it as a yes and wahoo...we have a date.

Plus, I just might flush out the reason  for her objection.     Her objection just  might be something I can overcome.

Imagine using this in a business transaction? 

P.S.  you can replace 'what if' with 'imagine' if that works better for you!


Research has proven that when you make a request and follow up with a 'because' it becomes more persuasive.  Although the research didn't explain why 'because' works so well, I speculate it is because it is complimentary to the other person.   When someone takes the time to explain why they are making a request it causes us to feel appreciated.    When someone makes a request without an explanation it's feels like we are not worthy of an explanation.      

So in my example I could say something like this....What if I were to ask you out for a dinner and movie on Friday night because I think we would both enjoy seeing that movie and I think you would like the menu at that restaurant?

Imagine trying out this technique the next time you are asking someone to do business with you because it really works!

Bonus #1

It is really important to use their name at the front of your request.   Using their first name makes it more personal and friendly.   It seems simple and it is but it brings results because it lowers their resistance to you. 

Bonus #2

The real power in persuasion is to string several techniques together as I just did by using....what if, because and their first name.   I call this the String theory of Persuasion.  

As I write more articles on persuasion I will continue to string together multiple techniques because that's when it is most powerfully persuasive.   And because...by being able to say I developed a String Theory  makes me sound brighter than I actually am.....haha

Hmm.....what if I knew these techniques when I was a young man?


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