How to deprograme a dummie

"we are born into greatness and then programmed into mediocrity"

I had a conversation with a friend in which we discussed among other things, the way we are programmed first as kids and then as adults. We reached the conclusion that it is no wonder we have so many messed up minds on this planet. The programming we usually receive is negative, conforming and very limiting.

"we are not born stupid, you have to watch a heck of a lot TV to get that way"

Driving home, I pondered what it would be like if we could find a grumpy negative person and kidnap them for the purpose of deprogramming. You know that kind of person who is always complaining about some injustice and yet does little or nothing about it. Sure it's illegal to kidnap someone against their will but it would be for their own good?

"a positive attitude may not solve all of your problems but it will annoy enough people to be worth the effort" (Herm Albright)

The purpose of the deprogramming session would be to make them aware that they have been running on automatic (or even worse operating on someone else's thoughts and not their own). To make them conscious that life can be fun, easy, and over-flowing with abundance. By the time we were done with them they would leave with a big goofy grin and be laughing and dancing their way down the street.

They would become super positive people willing to take on any worthy challenge. And as new converts I think they would be trying to convince others of the merits of their new found happiness and if not, then recommend them for deprogramming as well.

Now that is what I call a great daydream!

Guru Eduardo

P.S. I've even heard of people who were programmed to cheer for the New York Yankees and some to even cheer for the Toronto Maple Leafs......isn't that sad?

Persistance is over-rated and dangerous!

If at first you don't succeed try, try again.   Never ever give up!  Do whatever it takes.   Those are dangerous words and damn poor advice!

I am no fan of persistance!   To me it is over-rated and can even be detrimental to your success and happiness.   Persistance is hard, difficult and not much fun.   This runs contrary to my philosophy of...'life was meant to be fun, easy and abundant'.

Let me explain...

First, persistance can keep you doing what isn't working for far too long.   I'm reminded of the TV shows; Shark Tank and Dragon's Den.    Frequently in these shows when participants are trying to get the investors to give them money for their ideas, they are told...why are you relentlessly pursuing this idea that has no merit?   The answer is that they are determined to persist until it works.  Trouble is the  Sharks and Dragons know it just won't.   Peristance then can cause you to pursue an idea or dream that has no chance of success.  Persistance can cause you to be blind to reality.  Even worse persistance has caused many people to go broke needlessly!

Second,   in order to maintain persistance you need willpower.    Willpower is weak power because it can rarely be maintained in the long run.   Willpower is effective for the short run but few can keep it going long enough to achieve success.   Willpower is draining and it is hard and difficult.   There is no fun in willpower.

Third,  persistance kills creativity and flexibility.    Persisting on one course of action can blind you to better opportunities.   Persistance requires a narrowing of vision.   You become like those horses with blinders on.   In the dogged pursuit of your goal, you may fail to realize a much better opportunity is within your grasp. 

Allright then if persistance doesn't work, what does?   Glad you asked....

"When a person has made a deep committment to an idea or goal you might as well either get out of their way or help them"

Why is committment better than persistance?

First,  committment can flexible and creative.   With committment to an idea or goal you remain entirely flexible as to how to get there.   If a new path opens up and it shows better promise you take it.   If your committment is to being wealthy and the path you are on is not working, your eyes are open to any opportunity that looks superior to you.  If you are committed to a happy marriage you are not locked into one approach.   If something isn't working try something different.

Second, committment is proven to work.   Let's take committment in relationships.   Studies show that after 5 years 20% of married couples split compared to 49% of their less committed cohabitators.  And after 10 years, 33% of married couples split compared to 62% of cohabitators.   Making a committment increases your chances of success.

Third,  committment is easier and more productive than persistance.   I recently read a study where students were taking Spanish speaking lessons.   They were divided into 2 groups.   The first group were committed to learning the language.   The second group were not committed but received the exact same hours of instruction and practice.   The researchers were astonished that the committed group scored more than twice as high as the non-committed group.   The implications of this is immense.   Those who have a long term committment achieve and learn double with the same effort. 

Committment to a goal or an idea is an act of letting go.   It may be stressful before you make the committment but once you do  you let go of the process and have faith in the final outcome.  So it produces less stress than persistance.   Therefore in my humble opinion....it is no contest between persistance and committment. 

The Law of Average (how your friends effect your success and happiness)

The Law of Average states that we tend to become like the people we spend the most time with!

Think of the 5 people you spend the most time with and that is who you are becoming.   Scary huh?   Fortunately those 5 people can include real and imagined people...you know like your Facebook friends or the authors of the books or blogs  you read.

So are your friends inspiring, successful, positive or creative?  Or are they whinners and complainers that suck the energy right out of you?

Maybe its time to unsubscribe from someone or to add a new friend?

Of course it goes without saying that you need to be the kind of friend you want to attract?

The rewards of friendship come quickly...

You'll be a lot happier...

and try to remember....

and thanks for being my friend!

What if just by reading this article it made you rich?

　

What if I told you that there is no need to work hard, sacrifice and delay gratification till some distant time in the future? What if I told you that your life was meant to be fun, easy and abundant?

What if I told you that asking hypothetical questions could influence how other people will act?

The way that you ask questions can be highly persuasive especially if the question starts with the words, ‘what if.’ Here is why, the brain process what was said,  like ‘what if’ isn’t even there. So people are processing your question as if it were fact according to recent research from the University of Alberta. Think about that?

So lets have some fun and run through a few examples of how you might use this super seduction technique….

1) A realtor wants to get a listing on a home.

E.G. “What if I told you that I could get your home sold quicker and for more money by using our companies unique marketing system?”

Why it just might work?

If you made the statement without the ‘what if’ then the client might be thinking to herself…‘yeah right, that’s what they all say’. But if you precede the statement with ‘what if’ then the client first allows the information into her brain with resistance and wonders to herself how that may be possible? The realtor now has an open door to continue the persuasion because she is now considering it as possible.

2) You want a client to sign up for your weight loss program.

E.G. What if I told you that you could lose 20 lbs before Christmas and you could eat as much as you like?

Why it just might work?

Again it gets past the resistance by not phrasing it in a way that would be perceived as a sales pitch. The client starts to imagine it being possible to lose those 20 lbs by Christmas. Remember you haven’t directly asked for the sale you have just proposed a possibility. The clients response will dictate how you react. If you’ve gained their interest in your ‘what if’ question the sale is half done.

3) A nervous young man wants to ask a girl out on a date.

E.G. What if I were to ask you to join me Saturday night for a movie?

Why it just might work?

First our nervous young man finds it an easier question to ask since it is only a possibility question and he won’t face the same rejection by asking a direct question like, ‘would you like to go to a movie with me on Saturday’. That would probably get him stuttering and stammering and appear unconfident. But because it’s only a ‘what if’ even if he gets a no it is a ton lot easier to take. On the other hand he gets by her immediate defences and she if only for moments starts to imagine going to the movie with our nervous young stud.

So will this work all of the time? No, of course not but it will work a lot of the time and that’s good enough to learn this sneaky little seduction method. Of course this will only work if your ’what if’ question is received as credible and plausible.

Now for something personal….

What if I told all you ladies that are reading this article that all women who meet me personally find me to be a handsome devil and totally irresitable?

No, your not buying that?….dang I should have kept my big mouth shut and never shared this stuff with you!

And what if you were to hit the f button below and share this with your facebook friends because it would make me happy and you really popular?

Good advice

There are few things in life more annoying than good advice from someone you dislike or disrespect. So I'm not going to run the risk of annoying anyone today. Just wanted to share a few quotes that amuse me.

"Too bad all the people who really know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair" (George Burns)

"A word to the wise isn't necessary, it's the stupid one's who need advice" (Bill Cosby)

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't" (Erica Jong)

"The last person to ask if you need a haircut is your barber" (unknown)

and finally...

"The best thing to do when offered good advice is to pass it on. Good advice is far too annoying to keep it all to yourself" (Guru Eduardo)

Fun and easy persuasion tips

Imagine that you are at this tropical beach. It is a beautiful day in paradise with a gentle breeze off of the ocean. You are  in that hammock gently swaying back and forth.  You are warm, relaxed and peaceful. The sun feels sooo good on your body. You are totally contented, peaceful  and happy.

Now think about me the writer. How do you feel about my personality? Odds are that if you really allowed yourself to imgine being in that hammock on the beach that you will feel better about me also. Just by imagining being warm and relaxed improves your feelings about me or anyone else you immediately come into contact with.

So why am I telling you this? Because the feeling of warmth is very seductive. If you want to persuade someone to your point of view or buy your product or service you should always try to warm them up first. This is a persuasion technique called priming. It is priming you with a good feeling before introducing any request.

I'm not saying that you should bring them pictures of tropical beaches (but it might help). There are many ways to warm up a person. Here are a few...

Give them a hot drink. Researchers found that even just holding a hot drink (without drinking it) caused people to feel warmer towards others. They also found that when people were given a hot drink they became more generous and more likely to give to others. So you want your sweetie to do something for you, give them a hot drink first.

A warm handshake warms up you both. Now if you live in a cold climate location you need to ensure that you warm up your hands before shaking hands with someone. If you are going to introduced to someone and if you can discretely warm up your hands you are going to perceived much better. Just rub your hands together rapidly. They won't know why but they will instantly feel a closer bond with you by shaking a warm hand. Cool huh?

Who doesn't love a good hug? Sadly there are a very few who don't like to be touched but not many. The problem is its not a good idea to hug people you just met. But if you are going to persuade someone you know and you can safely hug them they will melt in agreement. Just thinking about this makes me want a hug?

A great smile will warm any heart. You've got so use it! It's darn near impossible to resist returning a great smile.

Warm words. Reaserchers found that when bell hops went to carry bags from a room for guests that if they mentioned it was a beautiful sunny day their tips increased. Just talking about a sunny day was enough to warm up the other person. So words matter. Oh by the way did I mention its going to be a beautiful sunny day today? And how would you feel about buying me a Baileys and coffee?

And finally....

That's right....its good to have beautiful sunny images to warm you up and your clients.

Now that I've warmed you up to my ideas, would you like to buy a great book?

What is the magical number in love and business?

According to John Gottman the famed relationship researcher 5 is the magical number for a successful marriage.   Gottman found that within a marriage if there was  a minimum of 5 positive reactions  to 1 negative one the odds of a successful marriage was optimal.   Once a relationship fell below the magical ratio it predicted the demise of the relationship.  

Gottman is able to predict with 95% accuracy whether a relationship will lead to divorce in mere minutes just by interving the couple and determining thier ratio of positive to negative words and actions.  Amazing!

What about business relationships?

Amazingly the same ratio applies to management and employees.   Fall below the magical number and it is predictive that your employees are getting ready to find new employment (assuming they can find it).  And even if they stay on job they are not going to be happy productive employees.   They will be more apt to do the minimum effort just to keep employed. 

(click on picture to enlarge)