Thursday, October 28, 2010

Being normal is a disadvantage

"If you burn up all of your energy trying to fit in and be normal, you won't have any energy left to discover your special gifts"

Come on, admit it, deep down you know there is something a little bit different about you?   Chances are, that long ago,  you ignored or dismissed it.   And yet, you know that there is more you are capable of, don't you?  The desire to please and fit in, is what crushed that little seed of potential.   The good news is, it can't be destroyed!  It's still there buried inside of you.    Now that we are big kids, it's our job to let go of the concept of being normal and fitting in.  Time to search out what makes us different.

"it seems so obvious that our greatness won't be found in being normal" 

Normal people don't do much in their lives, other than become a little cog in the massive machinery of humankind.   Normal people don't invent great things, write beautiful poetry, create masterpieces or do anything to change mankind for the better.   Nope, normal folks just pay the bills and do the dirty work of surviving.   So why be normal?  It's certainly not all it's cracked up to being.  

"the only thing holding you back is fear and a worthy goal or cause"

When you were a kid, you got picked on if you weren't normal.   But as adults, that gets reversed and by being normal, you are the one that gets picked on.   Nobody gives you special attention unless it is to get your money.   The banksters and fraudsters are out to get you.  And who is the special attention reserved for?   Right on, it's the one's who are different from the rest.   You must stand out to get noticed and being normal just don't work anymore.   Is it any wonder that most people have that nagging feeling that something is missing in their lives?   Deep down they know they are special, but the world treats them like they are as common as dirt.  

So go paint your hair purple, sing off key, dance like the uninhibited fool that you really are.   Do something, do anything but for God's sake don't be normal.   Normal is boring and boring people get ignored and forgotten.   I tell you all of this because....

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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Beautiful thoughts

Here are a few thoughts to wrap your head around:

"the simpler we make life, the more room we create for what matters most"

"everything is possible, if you can have fun doing it"

"the obvious is obviously wrong"

"everyone is worth seducing"

"when in doubt, laugh at yourself"

"it takes an act of courage to change but only an act of stupidity to remain the same"

and finally...."man is most nearly himself, when he has a 12 pack of beer and a game on TV to watch"

There,  now you have an idea of the things that rattle around in my head.   It makes me feel better to know that I've shared the strain on my brain with someone else!

Pssst...if you would like to share the strain on your brain with someone else, hit the F button below.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Everything is possible, if you can have fun doing it

"you always have 3 choices...the right one, the wrong one and a better one"

This is going to be fun!  What follows is one of those fascinating stories that circles around the internet.   Supposedly, it was used as a job application test.   Try it yourself? 

I couldn't find out who wrote it or whether it was actually true..but really who cares?

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. A very old friend who once saved your life. 
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.


The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: “I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.” 

Now tell me ....whouldn't you hire a candidate with an answer like that?

Funny and beautiful me thinks! 

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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Are you normal? For your sake I hope not

"what seperates the life seducers from the others, is that they chose to be constantly curious instead of deliberately dumb"

It's no coincidence that smart people read books and the stupid one's refuse to.   An open and curious mind seeks new truths by reading and contemplation, a closed mind uses television as their prime information source.   I know by virtue of the fact that you are reading this that you are the curious type.  So you won't be offended by my musings. 

"you don't have to be that smart to be a genius"

Some of those who are considered to be a genius don't have an exceptionally high IQ.  What they do have is an exceptionally high curiosity.   They are the constantly curious, always on the look for a better answer.  They are the one's who are having the fun in life's journey.   Every little discovery is a joyous moment.   The more they learn the happier they become.   And then their is the lethat combination..

"it is truly amazing how much damage you can do to yourself and others, if you these two qualities...stupidity and enthusiasm"

When I meet one of these folks, they frustrate me so much, I just want to bonk them on the head.  They are the 'know it alls'.  While us seducers are always wondering what is the truth, the deliberately dumb crowd are so damn cocksure of themselves.   They are the one's that belive in all sorts of kooky stuff.   They stand by their beliefs and will fight to the death to defend something they have little or no knowledge of.   Hint....they love reality shows!

Of course they don't recognize themselves.   When you recognize a deliberately dumb person...never ever get in an arguement with them.   I have made this mistake many times.   You can't win with all the logic in the world.   If you start making sense, their defence is to talk louder and try and shout you down.  It's a no win situation...better to nod your head in fake agreement and try and change the topic.

"as a life seducer, our job is to understand why people are deliberately dumb" 

It took me awhile to figure this one out.   I have over time come to realize that choosing to be dumb is born from insecurity.   In their minds, they don't want to risk examining new beliefs or opinions for fear that they will look dumb.  If they did that, they know that at least initially they would be one with the least information on the topic.   And how can you appear smart if you have the least knowledge on the subject.  So they defend a belief or opinion to the death, in the thought that their confidence shows how smart they are.   Their refusal to contemplate another persons ideas is because want to convey, that they know something and you don't!  Silly but true. 

So I've given up on the deliberately dumb.   Let them have their little world while I'm happy in mine!  The funny thing is that they greatly out number us.   They are the vast majority in society and we seducers are the exception.  Therefore, it could be said that dumb is normal.  Sorry, didn't mean to scare you like that.

This little rant is now over and I return you to your regular positive programming.   And celebrate that your programming doesn't just come from just the idiot box.  And friends try to remember...

"the need to be right isn't nearly as important as the need to be kind"

PSST...if you like this, do me a favor and hit the F button below and share it with your facebook friends.   Don't worry about offending the dumb crowd, I promise you, they won't recognize  themselves anyway.   Thanks

Sunday, October 17, 2010

I'm a seducer not a fighter!

"it is far easier and a lot more fun to seduce life, than it is to try and conquer it"

One of the most persistent metaphors for success, is that of a warrior.  It sure sounds noble, to charge out there and conquer life.  To overcome every obstacle and defeat any foe.   Through sheer will power, to impose your intentions and to make life submit to you.  The problem is, that for me it just doesn't work.  Nor does it for millions of others.   We are the lovers and not the fighters.   So what to do?

As epiphany's go, one of my best seduce life.  I'm a big fan of seduction.  The idea just gets me jumping for joy.   To seduce, is to get what you want, given to you freely and lovingly.  It requires a new skill set, but it sure sounds like fun, doesn't it?   Admit it friend, wouldn't you sooner have success and happiness given to you, instead of having to go take it or conquer it?

"nothing is good nor bad, but thinking makes it so"

Before all you warriors come looking to impose your will on for  attacking your philosophy, let it be known, I'm ok with you guys.   I really don't care how you conduct your affairs.  It's just not for me and my tribe.   So while you are out conquering your world, we seducer's will be out seducing ours. 

"warriors compete and seducer's create"

To a warrior life is a competition, that they must win.  To a seducer, life is a game, that is to be enjoyed and savoured, win or lose.   To a warrior happiness is delayed and then celebrated when victory is gained.  To a seductress, happiness is in the process, it's the game silly!  Sure there is an extra shot of happiness in the winning of our intention, but it would be a hollow victory, if the game was not enjoyable.  What would be the point?

"what would if benefit us, if we conquered the world, but didn't have any fun doing it"

Seducers don't see the point in delayed happiness.  That would be like delaying sex until you are old.   Life is too important to be taken serious by us.   Warriors are super serious on the path to victory, seducers, not so much.   In truth, seriousness is terminal to us.   If you find us being serious, it's probably just a game to mess with you.   (big secret....we love messing with a warrior's head).

"life is the only game, where everyone gets to make up their own rules, and yet so few do and most fail"

The reason so many aspire to be warriors, is that is what they were taught, by parents, teachers and self help guru's.   It is one way to win in life, but not the only way.  I believe life seduction to be a lot more fun, easier and more abundant.  Secucers know the importance of how the game is played and are constantly alert for ways to amp up the fun.   We love surprise and unpredicatability because we are as flexible as a breeze. 

Perhaps it's time you reconsidered your attitude to life and joined the fun team.   Don't worry there is always room for one more seductress as our path is the one least chosen.   Oh sure, the warriors laugh at us because we are different, but we laugh at them, because they are all the same!

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Saturday, October 16, 2010

Have some fun

"anything worth doing is worth having some fun at the same time"

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Everyone is interesting

Or as Mark Twain said...'it's better to be thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt'. Ok, it's too late for me, but there may still be hope for you!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

what others think of me

I'm thinking there is no sense in putting the opinions of others about you, ahead of your own.   Might just as well live in our own little dream world.  

Sunday, October 10, 2010

my life philosophy...(click on picture to enlarge)

I just rediscovered this poem that I wrote 3 years ago.   Time for some mind reading....yes, I hear you thinking to yourself....Eduardo keep your day job!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Everything is not as it seems..

Thanks to my friend, Linda from Kap_Chers Photography for this amazing picture. And now I shall conduct a little mind reading....what you are thinking is...Eduardo nevers looks so good as when I can't tell if it's him in the photo.

Looking at this picture, it made me think, as I get older I now see more beauty in the ordinary.  I appreciate my friends and family more.   I get more joy from giving than I do from receiving.  I have more gratitude within me than I do desire for possessions.  I've come to believe that, 'everything is not as it is much funnier.  And best of all my memory is not as good as it once was.   I can scarely remember all of the things that used to annoy me. 

This is the Canadian Thanksgiving weekend and I'm thankful for everyone one of you who reads this.
If you were here, I would pour you a glass of wine (out of my buddies bottle of course) and toast you!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

The awesome power of 'because'

Getting others to want to do something for you is a fun challenge.  A good secucer or seductress, has mastered many techniques.   The proper usage of the word 'because', is one of them.   Getting another person to want to comply with your wishes, is more likely to meet with success, if you explain why they should. 

"the first rule of seduction, it to make the other person feel good about themselves"

No one likes to be told what to do (especially me).   From the time when we were small kids, we grew a great dislike for the power others had over us.  We built up resistance to authority.   It makes us feel powerless.   So we much prefer to be asked and be given reasons to justify the request.   A request followed by a reason greatly increases our willingness to comply. 

"want to really annoy someone, tell them the reason is...because I told you so"

Just reading those words takes me back to my rebellious youth.   Because I told you so, is not a reason, it is a demonstration of power over me.   Thinking about that makes we want to break the speed limit or dye my hair purple....just because. 

"our authomatic responses were developed over the years, based on reason, or at least the appearance of reason"

Using the word because, followed any kind of reasonable explanation, triggers in us an automatic obligation to comply.  We lose the powerless feeling, because we feel the other persons need to justify the request.   This empowers us and greatly increases the chances that we will comply. 

So when some sweet thing says...Eduardo could you do me a favour and buy me a margarita, because I'm feeling lonely and vulnerable...her chances of me complying with her wish, just went through the roof.  But let's keep that our little secret.   Now go out there and have some fun with this useful knowledge.   And don't do it because I told you so.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

When inspiration comes will you be ready?

"life is too much fun, not to make more mistakes"

While at a 'farewell party' for some friends who are moving back to Turkey, the thought you see above came to me.  Normally I always have a pen and some index cards to capture my insightful good stuff.   This thought seemed so good for me, I had to capture it quickly, less the beer wash away my memory.   So I did what any writer would do in such a situation...

I asked around until I found a friend with an input device and entered into my palm pilot. Then asked my photographer friend Linda to snap a picture, just in case I got hit with stuipidity and accidentaly washed away my wisdom.    SNFAS...Situation normal found a solution.   Return to the party...

Monday, October 4, 2010

What this world needs is a recess

"the world would be a better place if you joined the rescue recess movement"

I remember fondly, as a kid in school when the recess bell would ring.  My heart would leap for joy, and I would always race to the first one to hit the swings or grab a scoccer ball.   Ahhh...recess, the best part of going to school.  A chance to get out the stuffy boring classroom and to do what I do!  Too bad they didn't give marks for recess?   I could have been the A student, my mother had always hoped I would be. 

"but now that we are all grown up, it's time to rally the troops and bring back recess for adults"

Imagine if every business gave it's employees a recess in the morning and another in the afternoon.  I would be willing to bet, that productivity would increase with all of that good oxygen being pumped into your brain.  And the reduction in stress in the workplace would make it a much happier environment.  It's just not possible to be stressed when you are having fun.

Being the mind reader, that I think I am, I can hear some of you saying...we have coffee breaks now, so is this just semantics?   No, foolish one, don't think in terms of a coffee break, think of it as a fun break.  On my planet, companies around the world, would do whatever was necessary to facilitate two fun breaks a day.  Upon careful consideration, it dawned on me that 20 minutes, wouldn't be long enough.   After all, who cares how long the recess is, if productivity and quality of work improves?

"energy flows to fun" 

We've got it all wrong, life isn't and shouldn't be all about serious stuff.    No, life was meant to be fun, easy and abundant.  Creativity is the offspring of fun.   And energy flows to fun, which leads to abundance.   Isn't that beautiful?

"another beautiful idea....relationship recess"

When your relationship is on the rocks, instead of seeking out a traditional counsellor, why not go see a trained 'Happiness Counsellor'?  They would prescribe a heavy dose of fun to be taken for an extended relationship recess.  If an intense fun break, didn't work for you, then go straight to the lawyer.  

"and what about Happy School for the slow learners"

Sadly, some folks have gotten so out of touch with their inner child, that an intervention is their only hope.  A few courses at my Happy School, should straighten them out in no time.  They might have the option of some courses like;  

Silly is Smart,
Swings 101
Puddle Jumping
Hide and go Seek
Playhouse Construction Basics
and How to get in touch with your bike again

Sounds like fun, huh?

P.S.   Donations to the 'Rescue Recess Movement' can be sent directly to me!

Pssst....If you are one of those people who throws nickels around, like they were  man hole covers, you can still help spread the word, just push the F button right below this and share it with your facebook friends.    Thanks..

Friday, October 1, 2010

How Seducers Build Trust

"warriors and seducers both understand the importance of trust.  They just go about it differently"

Warriors understand and live by principals like; honor, truth and keeping your word.  Over time their efforts pay off and they do earn the trust of others.  This is a fine method, but as I said, it takes time (sometimes of a heck of a lot of time).

Since seducers believe in there always being more than one answer, they are attuned to other possibilities.  For them it is great fun to look beyond the obvious.  Seducers are apt to ask themselves, is there a quicker, easier and more fun to build trust?   Now, you being a fellow seducer, I'm happy to share the skinny with you.  Here is the first lesson...

"trust doesn't always have to be earned"

Sometimes it is given freely and quickly, just because we happen to really like someone.  Studies have shown, that we are always quicker to trust those who are likeable.  And the good news is that likeability can be a learned behavior.  There are several good books (like How To Make People Like You in 90 seconds by Nicholas Boothman) and of course you can check in with Mr Google for more free tips online.  This is important stuff (likeability) it should be taught in school.  To a seducer or seductress, it is just as important to be likeable, as it is to be honorable and truthful. 

"if you trust that life is on yourside, life gets fun, easy and abundant"

It's easy to be optimistic, if you believe that life is on your side.  It's that inner knowing, that somehow things always seem to work out.  Those stuck in the drama of being a victim, scoff at ideas like this.  But then when did you ever meet a victim type who had a fun, easy and abundant life?   And let's get real here...we don't ever put our trust in negative people.   We do naturally trust the optimistic soul, that displays confidence in a good outcome for us.  And surprisingly, it can happen very quickly.

"passion is seductive"

One essential quality for leadership is passion.  It's damn tough to follow someone who is complacent.  Throughout the ages, passionate leaders have swayed the public and gained their trust with passion.   Admitidly, it wasn't always a trust deserved and many times abused once power was gained.  However, passion sways us.   So if you are looking for a shortcut to trust (and I know you are) passion is it.

"seducers know that a spotlight shared or given to another, will always find it's way back to the giver"

Warriors love the spotlight, and see it as one the rewards for their hard work.  Seducers also love the spotlight, but understand the value of sharing or putting the spotlight on someone else.  Singing someone's praises, especially to a third party, is a real trust builder.   How can you not trust someone who tells your boss, a friend or your spouse, just how special you are.   When the word gets back to you as it always does, you are flooded with those feel good brain chemicals that we are all addicted to.   Now, if the same words had been spoken directly to you, it may occur to you that they are just 'buttering you up' in order to gain something for you.  In sales they call this, selling to the periphery.   However, being as we are all altruistic seducers, our intentions are noble, right?

"trust given is trust returned"

When someone puts their trust in us, it is near impossible to not trust them in return.  Having someone believe in our potential or our skills, creates a bond of trust.   Being open and transparent with us, means it's ok to open and transparent with them.  This is what the rule of reciprocity is all about, what we are given we return in kind or even greater if possible.   You now have some inside information that gives you an advantage....but wait there is more!

"there is no resistance to the truth, when it is wrapped in good humor"

The skill that breaks down resisitance to trust faster than the speed of light is....humor!  No sooner do we share a good laugh, then the walls of mistrust crumble to dust.  Here is the thing about humor that most don't understand.  You don't have to be a great story or joke teller, it is just as good to be the appreciator as the teller.   How can you not like someone who busts a gut at your stories and jokes?  There is no comedian without an appreciative audience and no one knows this more than the comedian.  Sorry fake laughter doesn't work as well as the genuine stuff.  

In a past life I was a real estate sales manager and would jokingly tell my staff...'make them laugh and their wallets would open'.  Although, I would not have qualified as a great seducer back then, I can know see that I showed great promise.   Now I say...'make them laugh or share that laugh and their hearts will open'.    Trust is powerful stuff so use it responsibly.

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