What matters most

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.

The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full they agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.

The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal."

Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Note:  I originally posted this story a few years ago and yesterday got a message from a guy who was the professor's assistant many years ago and he stumbled upon my article by accident.   So it is a true story!

Psst....if you think this true story is worth sharing with our facebook friends, please hit the f button below.

Me and the bilionaire agree

"A man's tie is a sign of compliance and conformity.   It serves no other purpose other than to keep you in line"

Sir Richard is on a campaign to rid the world of the business tie and suit.   And I am 100% on side with him.   Here is the article explaining this..

http://www.businessinsider.com/richard-branson-talks-about-business-attire-2012-5

Chapter 1 'How To Seduce Life"

I’m a seducer not a fighter!

One of the most persistent metaphors for success is that of a warrior. It sure sounds noble to charge out there and conquer life. To overcome every obstacle and defeat any foe. To never back down from a fight, and through sheer will power to impose your intentions on the world. The problem is that for me it just doesn’t work, as it doesn’t for millions of others. For we are the lovers not the fighters. So what are we supposed to do?

“it is far easier and a lot more fun to seduce life than to try and conquer it”

As epiphanies go that was one of my favourites….to seduce life. I’m a big fan of seduction. The whole idea excites me. To seduce life is to entice life to give you back what you want freely and lovingly. It requires a whole new skill set, but it sure sounds like fun doesn’t it? Admit it, wouldn’t it be great to have success and happiness given to you instead of having to take it or conquer it? Now that I think about it….that’s a seductive thought!

“nothing is good, bad or funny, but thinking makes it so”

Before all of you warriors come looking to impose your will on me for a perceived attack on your philosophy let it be known I’m okay with you guys. I really don’t care how you conduct your affairs. It’s just not for me and my tribe. While you are out conquering your worlds, we seducers will be out seducing ours.

“warriors compete and seducers create”

To a warrior life is a competition that they must win. To a seducer life is a game to be enjoyed and savoured win or lose. To a warrior happiness is delayed and then celebrated with the final victory. To a seducer happiness is in the process, it’s the game silly! Sure there is an extra boost of happiness in the winning, but it would be a hollow victory if the game was not enjoyable. What would be the point?

“what would it benefit a man if he conquered the world but didn’

t have any fun doing it?”

Seducers don’t see any benefit in delayed happiness. As I said earlier, delaying everyday happiness until the goal is achieved is pretty much like delaying sex until you are old. Life is too important to be taken seriously by us. Warriors as everyone knows are very serious on the path to victory, seducers not so much. In fact seriousness is terminal to us. If you see us being serious it’s probably just a game we are playing to mess with you. (big secret….we love messing with warrior’s heads).

“life is the only game where we get to make up own rules and yet so few do”

The reason so many people aspire to be warriors is because that is what they were taught by parents, teachers and self-help gurus. It is one way to win but it’s not the only one. In this book I will attempt to show you a better way to play the game of life. It’s a lot more fun, easier, plus the results can be even better than the warrior game. The really great seducers understand the importance of playing the game under their own rules. They are constantly searching for ways to amp up the fun. Seducers love surprise and unpredictability because they are as flexible as a breeze.

“you deserve a life of pleasant surprises and gifts, and that is what I promise to share in this book.

Like most of us you were probably taught that life is hard and difficult and then you die. Perhaps it’s time for a change of pace, time you joined us seducers who believe that life was meant to be fun, easy and overflowing with abundance. You choose….

Success Secret #2

The Warrior says.....If it's going to be it's up to me.

The Seducer says....If it's going to be fun, I can't be the only one!

The truth is....there is no such thing as a self made man.    We need and should encourage  the help of others.   In return we should seek out opportunties to help others.  This is what reciprocity is all about...I help others and they in return want to help me.   This is why I say...

"The more you give the more you get just as long as you don't give to get"

Guru Success Secret #1

(click on picture to enlarge)

I can make you happy

 

 

No, I'm not going to give you money, I am going to give you something even better. I call it a....

'Kindness Counter'

It is another of my brilliant inventions. It could change your day or even your life if you would use it. And because I like you sooo much, it's FREE! Well actually, that's a tiny bit of an exaggeration. The actual cost is one or two cents. Interested?

I thought so. So without further ado, let the bells ring out and the banners fly, it's time for the big reveal...

You can call it a piece of paper or an index card if you prefer. I call it a....Kindness Counter. Without the instructions it would be just a piece of paper but with it (and if you follow the instructions), magic happens.

The Instructions (please follow them precisely)

1. Write on one side...How many times can I be kind today?
2. Then record on the flip side each time you show kindness to someone (yourself included)
3. Before you go to bed, read your list and reflect on it.
4. Sweet dreams.
5. Repeat as desired.

Beautiful huh? So, will you try it? Your happiness is at stake. It's fun and it's easy. You have nada to lose and mucho to gain. Why not take my 'Kindness Counter' for a spin. I am on day 7 of my personal experiment with this and all I can say is....WOW, I am one happy Guru.

So what can you expect to happen? The kindness (Love) within you starts to grow. Each day you feel yourself wanting to show more kindness than the previous day. Pretty soon you are like Mother Teresa! Ok, that was my inner info-comercial coming out. But the truth is; that it is fun and addictive. And how can that not be a good thing?

Next we start marketing my 'Kindness Counter' invention, to all of those poor unhappy souls. With my ideas and your help, we are all going to rich in 2011! Of course I realize that those 'do it yourselfer's' will just go make their own. But there are always some folks who are just too lazy to do it

Beautiful thoughts

Here are a few thoughts to wrap your head around:

"the simpler we make life the more room we create for what matters most"

"everything is possible if you can have fun doing it"

"the obvious is obviously wrong"

"everyone is worth seducing"

"when in doubt, laugh at yourself"

"it takes an small act of courage to change or an act of stupidity to remain the same"

and finally...."man is most nearly himself when he has a 12 pack of beer and a game on TV to watch"

There, now you have an idea of the things that rattle around in my head. It makes me feel better to know that I've shared the strain on my brain with someone else!

Pssst...if you would like to share the strain on your brain with someone else, hit the F button below.

If you have this quality...life becomes fun, easy and abundant

it's not who you know it's who you know that likes you"

I've been writing for years about how to make our lives; fun, easy and over-flowing with abundance. Lately, I've been wondering...what is the easiest way to accomplish that? If there was just one thing that could impact our lives in a positive way, what would it be?

In search of an answer, I tried to think of who I knew that seemed to have a charmed, happy and profitable life? I could think of many people, some I knew and some I read about. So I asked myself, what do they have in common? And the answer is....."they are all likeable"

People who are likeable tend to get the best jobs, build the best companies, have more friends, better relationships and enjoy life more. Sounds good, right? But that doesn't even touch the benefits of being likeable. Here are a few more benefits;

* Doctors give more time and better care to patients they like

* Likeability is the most consitent predictor of election results

* Likeable people inspire others to give more

* They get better and quicker service from retail businesses

* Likeable students get better marks from teachers

* They get forgiven quicker for misdeeds (I need that one)

* They have better physical and mental health

* Live longer and happier lives

There's more but you get the point. Things come quicker and easier for likeable people. We favor them and do what we can to make their lives fun, easy and abundant. And this amigos is one of the biggest secrets I've ever learned...

"it isn't the choices we make about other people that makes life enjoyable, it's the choices they make about us"

There will always be the foolish few who actually prefer to go it alone. Their attitude is I don't need other people to make it. And with supreme effort, they still succeed. I'm just not one of those who wants to make any more effort than is necessary to reach my desires. If others want to help me out and make my life easier, I say welcome onboard.

Life is fun, easy and abundant when others want you to succeed because they like you. I've decided that at Eduardo's Happy School, the first subject taught will be....How to be more likeable! I can't think of a more important subject. My graduates will all be taught this vital skill and as a result will be world leaders in likeability.Now that we have established that the most important skill to attain in life, is likeability, the obvious question is how?

I've been researching to provide you some answers. Appreciating my limited brain power you will have give me more time.....so come back tomorrow! I promise you some fresh insights. I might even go into more depth than the ever popular method of...buying the first round.

Smile, I really, really like you!

Prediciting your future is actually quite easy

 

"People can change but they rarely do"

Aristotle said, 'the unexamined life is not worth living'. Nice try Aristotle but I think you should have been more specific. You should have said, the unexamined habits make life not worth living. He also said, we are the product of intelligent evolution. Well some of us are, I'm just not sure which ones of us he was talking about.

"Choose your habits or they will choose you"

After examining some of my habits I came to the conclusion that most of them were not of my choosing. I just adapted the habits of others in positions of authority over me as I grew up. Parents, teachers, churches and peers habituated much of my thinking. Some of my inherited habits are pretty good; I shower every morning and brush my teeth after most meals. No problem there. As for my bad habits....none of your business (but thanks for asking).

"Habits can make life fun, easy and abundant OR hard and difficult"

Refusing to change your habits is tantamount to refusing to control your own life. It drives me nuts when someone says...but I've always done it that way. Especially when that way isn't working. Show me your habits and I can predict your future better than any psychic, astrologer or fortune teller.

Let me give you a few examples of how easy it is to predict someones future. First, lets imagine someone has the procrastination habit. I can predict that sooner or later something is going to come back to bite them in the butt. I can safely predict that if someone has the kindness habit that they will make a very good and loyal friend.

The girl with the doormat habit is destined to be mistreated. The one with denial habit will pay a bad price in the future. The poor slob with the couch potato habit is going to become fat and have health problems. See how easy this is?

Examine the habits of the people you know and you will easily be able to predict a lot of what will happen in the future to them. You won't be right 100% of the time but I'll guarantee you will be right 90% of the time. And you tell me what fortune teller is right 90% of the time?

Any school teacher can fairly accurately tell which students will succeed in the future. Are they always accurate? No, but they accurate 90% of the time. They get to see up close for extended periods of time the habits of the kids they teach. As I said, people can change but they rarely do and is true of the kids as well.

Its easy to predict the futures of others by examining their habits but what's tough is to examine your own habits honestly. Too many of us have adopted a denial habit. We need the help of a trusted friend to give us some honest answers about our good and bad habits.

"You are controlled through your habits"

One of the reasons we live in such an obese society is that we are being controlled by the food industry through our habits. Pick up most any packaged food and read the label. It usually contains high amounts of sugar, salt and sometimes MSG. The reason they are in so many foods is because we easily become addicted to their taste. The food industry bombards us with advertising to get us started on packaged foods and then we become addicted and develop a bad dietary habit. Yep, in no time they've got us by habits. Because big waists equal big profits!

 

Later I'll write about how to have a swap meet for your habits.    Exchanging a bad habit for a good one!

 

 

An attraction secret

 

You've probably heard expressions like; he's a happy or optimistic fool. Ok, maybe it's just me! However, the media certainly has bias for painting the happiest people as being 'a little simple or slow'. The kindest description might be of a person who is naive. So what is the reality?

Even writing about happiness can draw negative comments. I've been told more than once that I'm blowing happiness (where the sun doesn't shine) at people. Makes you wonder why it is that happy people can so annoy others?

In the field of Positive Phychology, studies are proving just the opposite is true. Optimistic and happy people are found to be:

* better at performing in work, school and even in sports
* less prone to depression
* have fewer health related problem
* experience better relationships with friends and family
* more successful in reaching long term goals
* they are found to be more attractive by everyone

No wonder happy people walk around with a goofy grin....they know something the others don't (well actually a lot that the others don't).

Even if all this hadn't been scientifically proven, I think I'd sooner be just a little simplier and be happy then be a little smarter and have to live in a grumpy head!


P.S. If you stare at my 'goofy grin' long enough, you just might start to see how much Brad Pitt and I look alike?    What....didn't you read the part about me becoming more attrative because I smile so much?   Oh well....

 

 

  

Simple test will measure the potential for success

This was inspired by the 'Rotary Club 4 way test' which is pretty good but I like mine a lot more. Any new venture I contemplate will have to pass this test before I will seriously consider it. This strikes me as a wondeful way to ensure success? What do you think?

I also got thinking about failed projects and quickly realized that if I had applied this test, I would have never started them in the first place. I challenge you to look back at some failed project in your past and put it to my test? Would it have passed?

I'm going to print it off and put it on the wall by my desk as a reminder.

The surprising answer to all problems

 

"The best solution to every problem is opportunity"

Why is it that when you hit on a great truth that it so frequently turns out to be so simple and obvious when you reflect on it? This one just knocked my socks off this morning. Here's why...

First, we all will face problems whether we are talking individually, as a society or as a business. Next the greatest rewards go those who can solve those problems. So when you think about it, the best solution to every problem will be found by looking for the opportunity. Within every problem or adversity lies the seed of an opportunity that once discovered will dwarf that problem. (somewhere there is a quote similar to that)

Life abounds with people who layed their claim to fame and riches by solving a problem. Zuckerman found a way to make it fun and easy to connect with friends and like minded people with Facebook. He has been rewarded for solving the connection problem with billions of dollars of net worth. For almost every human problem; obesity, fitness, dating, unemployment, money management, transportation and travel....someone somewhere is sitting on a pile of great wealth because they looked for the opportunity that would solve that problem.

Sometimes you can solve the problem without uncovering the opportunity. This is what happens when you look for a solution that is hard and difficult. It usually is just a short term solution. For instance imagine that you want to lose weight and get fit. Hard and difficult is going to the gym or jogging. It works for a few but most do it for a while and then give up. My gym has over 2,000 members and I can tell you I rarely see over 50 people there at any given time. Now when someone comes up with a fun and easy solution, they are going to become mega rich!

Got a problem...lucky you! Find the opportunity in the problem and you just might end up wealthy. Haven't got a problem....borrow someone else's problem. Problems are opportunities in disguise. Lucky for me, I've got a few problems so I'm off on a treasure hunt for the opportunties within the problem. So paws off my problems....go find your own!
 

Do you have...a decent boldness?

"years from now it won't be the things that you did that you will regret the most, it will be the things you didn't do"

If you are anything like me, I'll bet there are many instances when you look back on your life and say to yourself....dang I wish I'd done that!

So what keeps us from doing the things we know we should or we know we would like to do? Mostly fear, sometimes procrastination and many times we are just a little too timid. The cure.....a decent boldness!

I say decent boldness as opposed cockiness or arrogance. A decent boldness is a reasoned decision with a slight risk taking element to it. And I say boldness as opposed to using a word like courage. Courage is a difficult word. It brings back associations for a lot of people of things like when you were bullied as a child. Sometimes you can be a little lacking in courage and still find some boldness.

The good news is that boldness kicks the crap out of fear and procrastination.

Here are just a few examples of ways you can use boldness to your benefit;

*speak out when you feel an injustice
*take the first step to start a friendship
*share a thought or idea
*ask for help
*flirt
*take a chance
*try something new
*ask for a raise
*ask for forgiveness
*start something new
*make a suggestion
*write a comment on a blog
*start a business

The list could on forever, a decent boldness is all we need to change our lives for the better. And as Virgil said...fortune belongs to the bold! We can find great fortune if we have the courage and character to make bold decisions.

"It's an exciting time for those with a decent boldness"

Over a hundred years ago Goethe wrote: "whatever you can do, or dream, you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it" Smart guy.

Now if I might be so bold as to ask a favor of you...please pass this article on to someone else who might benefit from it. Just hit the f button below....thanks!

The meek shall inherit the world (sorry guys this is bad news)

NOTE; No alcohol was consumed during the formation of our thesis

This all started from a conversation with my amiga Daisy (aka Nancy P). During a walk down the beaches of Mazatlan we were discussing my fascination with paradox's. Daisy pointed out that the bible also had many paradox's. So I decided to at least examine one of them. The first that came to mind was...

"and the meek shall inherit the earth"

This had me mentally tied up in knots, because let's face it, it makes no sense. How the heck could the meek ever hope to inherit anything, much less the earth? And for that matter, who was the meek, Jesus was referring to. There being no biblical scholars on the beach that day, I turned to another friend, Yoda (aka Eric W). This warranted one more beach stroll and much discussion, and then Yoda had an epiphany.

Yoda rationalized that men are the stronger sex and women are the weaker sex. Therefore they would qualify as a meeker race. Now since meek means humble and patient, and I know of no men who qualify for that, I was speechless. The more we discussed it, the more damn sense it seemed to make. Good grief men....

One day women will inherit the earth...YIKES!

But come to think of it, we men haven't done a very good job of running the planet so far. We've polluted the world in the name of progress (which is code for greed). We've raped, pillaged, abused and killed each other and nature. We have been extremely poor stewards and that's being overly kind.

Women are the only humans in training

Think about this; women are the only one's who receive training in how to be a good human. They have been throughout history, the one's who raised the children. They are the people who nuture and protect the defenceless. They teach harmony and mandate sharing. They tend to manage the family resources and ensure everyone is fed. Damn good training for running the planet!

Note to men!

I know what you are thinking? Bull crap, it will never happen. Well buddies, I would like to find agreement with you however....

It is already happening..

The first seminal change was when women got the right to vote. It started in one country but spread like a prairie wild fire and it continues today. Now contemplate this?

There are more women than men on the planet

And they live longer as well. Political power for women is only, one more vote than a man away. Some countries have already had female leaders. More are on their way. Need more evidence? A few weeks ago my son told me that 60% of the students in his law class were women. I checked and this ratio continues throughout universities in the land. And we know how lawyers lust for power and make the laws!

The quiet takeover has begun

Quietly women are assuming more positions of authority (read power) and it is progressively increasing. My opinion is, that it is already past the tipping point. It is inevitable....

The meek are going to inherit the earth

And the meek (women) have been trained to share, nuture, protect the weak, and create harmony. Oh sure, as Robin Williams once said...if women ruled the world, every month we would have a few days of intense negotiations, but then we would all get along like a happy little family. And if a few countries started fighting, I could see them being told to take a time out until they could come out and apologize. Probably get their trading priveliges suspended for a week or two as punishment.

So now you know the truth

I was going to ask you to keep this secret but upon reflection, it sounds pretty damn appealing. So I say bring it on girls! And while you are at it, you can take over my job as well and I'll stay home with the kids. (ok, my son is 27 and is graduating from law school , but I'm sure I could think of something else to occupy my time, you know like a cold beer on a hot beach)

Guru Eduardo

How to gain influence (the shortcut you need to know)

"We like and trust those who seem to share the most similarities to ourselves"

We have been conditioned through the ages to be suspicious of those people that are different from ourselves.  I imagine that served us well back in the caveman days.   Some guy shows up on the savanna with a different language and clothing and our ancestors had be on alert as he might intend  to harm us or steal our food supply.   Differnces had to be noted or the cost of indifference could be immense.

Fast forward a couple of thousand years and we still feel more comfortable with people who are like us.   The more similarities we find the more comfortable we feel.  So we are conditioned through evolution is to be more trusting and to be influenced most  by those who seem like us.  

"It isn't who you know that counts, its who you know that likes you"

The shortest path to gaining influence  over others is to seek out similarities.    The quicker we can find the similarities, the quicker we will be liked and thus gain the opportunity to influence.    Sales success  is nearly impossible until we can gain some measure of trust.  And trust is most easily gained by those we like.   Research has  proven beyond any doubt that we trust those in whom we find similarites.  Well, you get the picture....

How can I use this to my advantage?

*  Whenever you meet someone make it a priority to find out what you have in common.

*  When you find you have something in common...explore it further.

*  Make a note of your similarties for further reference

*  In any future communications or meetings bring up the simlarities before trying to sell someone.

*  Offer to make introductions or connections to others who share your similarties (build a network)

*  If you are giving a talk or presentation, find out what you have in common with the audience.

REMEMBER...the more similarities you can find the more likely that you will gain trust and become influential.  

   



When is it ok to give up?

As Albert Einstein said...the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome. Persistance is a marvelous concept but not if it goes beyond reason. So the simple solution is this...

"If at first you don't succeed try, try again. If that still doesn't work...try different"

Not as funny as W.C. Fields but Einstein approved. And then there sometimes comes a point of time when you tried every alternative to a problem and just need to walk away from it. That's when its time to find something new to put your energies into. It's like when a man has tried everything in the book to win the heart of his intended and yet she has zero interest. To continue is a waste of energy of his energy and time and annoys the heck out of the woman.

Pssst....want to make me happy? Then hit the f button below and share this with your facebook friends. Maybe those annoying ones who keep saying...never, never, ever give up will slow down and think about it! Thanks.