9 traits of highly persuasive people. How many do you have?

1.  Constantly curious

In order to be highly persuasive you need to know everything possible about the person you are trying to persuade.  The two things most all people like to talk about are themselves and the things they like.  When you encourage others to talk about themselves they like you more.   And the more they like you the more they are likely to really listen when you do speak.    So ask a ton of questions and then be a...

2.  Great listener

The best sales people are not the fast talkers, they are the best listeners.   A rough guide line is to never talk more than 40% of the time.   Those who talk too much are not believed and make others suspicious of your intentions.

Learn to listen with your eyes.   Yeah sounds goofy but it really works and here is why?    When you watch intently you will begin to notice emotions that don't line up with their words. Paying attention to body language can give you valuable clues as what they are thinking.

The direction a person's feet are pointing will tell you where their head is.  If the feet are pointing away from you take that as a sign that they want to get away from you.   Crossed arms and leaning away from you may indicate they are not buying what you are saying.

3.  Generous

We all are pretty good at deciding who is a giver and who is a taker.    We like givers.   Giving also triggers reciprocity meaning they will feel a strong urge to give back and frequently give you more than you gave them.

A man gives a woman a sincere well thought out compliment and then asks her out on a date.   What do you think his chances of getting the date are?   Research says he has a 37% better chance of getting that date.   And guess what?   This principal can also help you make a sale.   Some people give out compliments like they were coming out their bank account.   Don't be that person.

Gift giving can cost a lot or nothing at all but the benefits can be great.   I have written extensively about the 'Rules of Reciprocity'.   It is powerful stuff.

4.  Storytellers

The most persuasive people don't have canned pitches they have great stories.   Stories are an amazing way to get past a persons resistance.   Tell a story about someone just like them had their problem and how you were able to solve it and chances are they will buy it.  

5.  Light hearted 

Those who are too serious suck the energy out of us.   Serious can only be effective in time of emergency or in small doses.   We prefer to be around light hearted people.   And it is much easier to get a person who is laughing to say yes than by laying too much serious on them.  

Serious people prefer the status quo.    People in light hearted mood are much more likely to try something new.  Job #1 is to start any interaction with a warm positive energy.

6.  Share the spotlight

Great persuaders are only to happy to share the spotlight and at times simply  deflect the spotlight on others.
They are the 'Public Praisers'.    They will seize every opportunity to praise others publically.   And how can you not  like someone who tells others how wonderful and talented you are?

7.   Comfort seekers

Not theirs....yours!   Great persuaders seek to make you comfortable.   They dress to make you comfortable.   They arrange to put you in situations that make you comfortable.   It's not about them, it's all about you.   Make a person comfortable and their resistance to you and your ideas dissolves.

8.  Clarify and simplify

Great persuaders know that too much information is a deal killer.   Too many choices mean no decision.  Complicated jargon is not believable.   It makes you sound salsey.   The more simple the persuasion the better the chance that it will be accepted.  

Do you remember this line from the OJ Simpson trial....if the glove doesn't fit you must acquit.   That simple line won the day.    Simplify.

9.  Admit you don't know

When you admit that you don't know something or that you were wrong, what happens?   Your credibility goes sky high.   It gets interpreted as a sign that you are honest and to be trusted.   Most people won't do that and then again.....most people aren't great persuaders!


HELP.......I would love to know if you have any thoughts on other top traits for highly persuasive people?
Let me know in the comments below....thanks much appreciated!

Is this trait the shortcut to success?

"All things being equal we will always choose to do business with those we like.   All things NOT being equal, we will still choose to do business with those we like"

Guess who are the most trusted people in the world according to a U.S. study?    For men it is Tom Hanks and for women it is Sandra Bullock.  Huh?   I thought they would say someone like the Dali Lama  or Jane Goodall.  Nope.   They chose two movie stars and the question is why?   The answer is because they are (or at least their movie personas)  so darn likeable.   Think about that?   Likeability equals trust! 

Now you can see why I  say likeability is the best short cut to success.   If they like you, they are inclined to trust you.   If they trust you they are more likely to buy what you are selling or grant you favors.  Both your business and personal life gets easier if you are liked.   So what makes people likeable?   

 Here are 12 traits of highly likeable people"

1.  We are attracted to healthy and attractive people.    All through their lives healthy and attractive people get preferential treatment.   This is even more so when it comes to women.   So if you are not blessed with good looks what can you do?   Read on...

2.  They mile and laugh a ton.   Laughter is contagious and smiles are reciprocated. You would have to work hard not to like someone who smiles and laughs a lot.   The best humor is self deprecating.   Making fun of others is a turn off. 

3.  They project a warm, energetic and strong personality.   This makes them appear confident.

4.  They listen more than they talk.   They ask lots of questions about you and your interests.  People LOVE to talk about themselves and the things they are passionate about.   

4.  They are 'public praisers'.   They are the first to sing someones praises in front of others. Imagine you are in a group and someone tells the others about how great you are?   Yeah, that feels really good.

5.  They don't hand out compliments like its coming out of the bank accounts.   The give sincere compliments.   And yes flattery feels good as long as the recipient can convince himself he deserves it.

6.  They make lots of eye contact.   

7.  They ask us for advice.   It makes us feel good to asked for advice or our opinion.   It makes us feel good to know that you value what we have to say. 

8.  They are honest, reliable and trustworthy.  We know we can count on them.

9.  They are like us in many ways.   So we are comfortable with them.   So you should 'seek the similarities' between the other person and yourself.   The more you find the more comfortable they will be with you.

10.  For instant likeability, when you meet someone greet them like a friend!   This has an amazing effect on people.    Treat them like a friend and at a subconsious level they will feel like you are a friend.  

BONUS.....be kind and generous to everyone you meet because others are watching and will take notice.  Great and lasting impressions are made on those who watch someone in the act of kindness.