Giver takers fools and fakers

"You can easily tell who is a true friend?  When you've made a fool of yourself she doesn't think you've done a permanent job"

If you were to ask me, what one thing will guarantee that your life will be fun, easy and abundant?   I would say...surround yourself with givers.   Having friends who are givers is the cherry on top life's meaning.

5 Great benefits of having givers as friends
(there are many more of course)

1.   There is no such thing as...it's my turn.   No need to keep track of who did what because givers love to give.

2.  Givers give off positive energy.   Their positive energy lifts you up and makes you feel good about yourself.

3.  Givers make you want to be a better person.

5.  Someone always has your back.   Just knowing that when you stumble, someone will put out a hand is reassurring.   If you are being criticised in your absence someone will defend you. 

6.   Having givers as friends means a life of pleasant surprises.   You never know what will be given to you for no reason other than that you are loved.  (Yeah I know that makes six benefits but what the heck, I just felt giving a little more).

Takers

Avoid these people like you would an unnecessary root canel.   The first sign you are with a taker is that their conversation revolves around them and not you.   No matter where the conversation goes they will find a way to make it about themselves.   They will use you and abuse you.  They are self centered and immature.   They believe that in order for them to succeed they need to take from others.  These people are toxic to your happiness.

Fools

The fools are takers but don't know it (at least not consciously).   They may see themselves as givers but they suck the energy out of you.   They may make you a supper but then they dump every morsel of their problems on your plate.   These are people who as I said appear to be givers but tend to be so negative that they are draining to be around.

Fakers

The fakers are the ones that calculate that if they give they will get something back.  They only give because they think it will gain them something now or down the road.   They will fool you at times but mostly they fool themselves. 

What if I haven't been a giver but I want to change?

The answer is simple......give until it feels good!

The secret power of a handwritten note



"The more gatitude you show the more good fortune you recieve"

Some forms of gratitude are more powerful than others.   Here is my list from least powerful to most powerful expressions of gratitude:

Silent gratitude is the least powerful of course.
Facebook and twitter 
Text messages
Emails
Letters
Handwritten letters, thank you cards and notes
Gifts

These days its hard to ignore the efficiency of some form of an electronic message.  It's fast and easy to do.   And that's why you shouldn't do it....because its what everyone else is doing and so you won't stand out or be remembered.  

It takes your personal time to hand write a message.   It is memorable, remarkable and it sustains.   Electronic type messages are soon deleted and forgotten in the avalanche of daily communications we receive. 

Here is how to make your messages memorable...

Write clearly and neatly.  

Awhile back I received a thank you card from a Westjet Vice President thanking me for the ideas I had submitted and that they had employed.   That was nice except for one thing.....his writing was so damn sloppy it was nearly impossible to read it.   No point in scanning it and using it as a reference or even showing it to my buddies.  A total waste!

Make it personal.

"Thanks you did a great job" is not near as powerful as something like this..."Hey Eduardo you did a remarkable job on the Westjet file.    Your ideas made a huge difference and I absolutely loved your humor and willingness to share your insights.  Thanks a ton"    Which note would you like to get?

Be sincere.

Flattery is phoney but a sincere compliment is a gift that keeps on giving.

It can be a gift.

Many times I've seen others showing off a note or card they received that was complimentary. So to that person its like a gift.

Don't limit it to thank you's.

Sometimes a handwritten letter or note of encouragement goes a long way to motivate others.    I've used handwritten notes to solve differences with others.   The real secret of a handwritten note is that it forces the other person to hear you out.   In a conversation its our nature to be thinking about what we are going to say while the other person is talking and thus not be fully focused on what they are saying.  And the recipient can re-read it later. 

They still sell snake oil

They still sell snake oil

A hundred years ago, it was common in the United States for travelling salesman to cross the country selling cures for all that ails you. And guess what? A lot of their cures worked! Well, at least they worked for a short time.

 

What few people knew was that some of those magical potions contained cocaine and alcohol. So naturally those who purchased the products got a short term good feeling. This led to their success. Long term? No benefit.

 

Today, we have a different kind of 'snake oil salesman'. The modern version peddle a pile of self-help products that have now been proven to not work.

 

One such product is subliminal tapes. Million and millions of tapes have been sold to a gullible public to help you lose weight, quit smoking or to attract incredible wealth. Science has now proven beyond any doubt through countless studies,

they have absolutely no benefit! This is a multi-million dollar industry based on a sham.

 

There is a short term placebo effect where people claim to feel something. However in terms of concrete results.....nothing! The only thing they do is make money for the producers of this scam.

 

"If it seems to good to be true....it might be snake oil"

 

Here is an urban myth that is often used to sell these tapes and other products. You only use 10% of your brain. Again scientific studies prove conclusively this is an impossiblity. If you only used 10% of your brain people would look at us and say, "look at Eduardo he is laying there motionless and not breathing, it's almost like he is dead" Because that is what you would be, dead. Sellers of subliminal tapes often profess that their tapes will help you access the 90% of your brain that you haven't been using.

 

There is a new branch of phsychology that has been expanding rapidly, it is called Positive Psyhcology and it is examining things like what is it that leads to happiness and success. The good news for us is that we can find out what really works and what is just todays version of snake oil.

"its like springtime in my mind beautiful ideas keep popping up everywhere"

 

 

 

 

 

Think tropical vacation if you want to be more successful

Powerful persuasion tips that you should know

Imagine that you are at this tropical beach. It is a beautiful hot day with a gentle breeze off of the ocean. You are warm, relaxed and peaceful. The sun feels sooo good on your body. You are totally contented and happy.  Swaying gently in your hammock the thought occurs to you, if I have any problems I can't remember them.  Live is good and you are at total peace with yourself in this warm tropical paradise.

Now think about me the writer (that would be me). How do you feel about my personality? Odds are that if you really allowed yourself to imgine being in that hammock on the beach that you will feel better about me also. Just by imagining being warm and relaxed improves your feelings about me or anyone else you immediately come into contact with.

So why am I telling you this? Because the feeling of warmth is very seductive. If you want to persuade someone to your point of view or buy your product or service you should always try to warm them up first. This is a persuasion technique called priming. It is priming you with a good feeling before introducing any request.

I'm not saying that you should bring them pictures of tropical beaches (but it might help). There are many ways to warm up a person. Here are a few...

Give them a hot drink. Researchers found that even just holding a hot drink (without drinking it) caused people to feel warmer towards others. They also found that when people were given a hot drink they became more generous and more likely to give to others. So you want your sweetie to do something for you, give them a hot drink first.

A warm handshake warms up you both. Now if you live in a cold climate location you need to ensure that you warm up your hands before shaking hands with someone. If you are going to introduced to someone and if you can discretely warm up your hands you are going to perceived much better. Just rub your hands together rapidly. They won't know why but they will instantly feel a closer bond with you by shaking a warm hand. Cool huh?

 

TIP.....Imagine you are about to meet someone.   Just before you are introduced you are holding a hot cup of coffee in your hands.   When you go to shake hands yours will be nice and warm.   Sub consciously the other person will just assume you to be a warm person.   That first impression is so powerful and research says...lasting.  Try it!

Who doesn't love a good hug? Sadly there are a very few who don't like to be touched but not many. The problem is its not a good idea to hug people you just met in a business situation. But if you are going to persuade someone you know and you can safely hug them they will melt in agreement. Just thinking about this makes me want a hug?

 

I know a business lady who hugs her clients when they meet.   They love her and wouldn't dream of taking their business elesewhere.   Because...

 

"When you earn your business with the best price, product or service...you might lose that business if someone else has a bertter price, product or service.   But if they really like you....you really have to screw up before they go elsewhere"

A great smile will warm any heart. You've got it so use it! It's darn near impossible to resist returning a great smile.

Warm words. Reaserchers found that when bell hops went to carry bags from a room for guests that if they mentioned it was a beautiful sunny day their tips increased. Just talking about a sunny day was enough to warm up the other person. So words matter. Oh, by the way did I mention its going to be a beautiful sunny day today? And how would you feel about buying me a Baileys and coffee?

And finally....

That's right....its good to have beautiful sunny images to warm  up  you and your clients.   Researchers have found that just by looking at pictures like the one above it also makes you more creative.   So right now my desktop background picture is that one.    

Now that I've warmed you up to my ideas, would you like to buy a great book?

The seductive sound that can make you wealthier and more persuasive

 

"The sweetest sound to our ears is our name"

 

 

The biggest lesson I've ever learned about being persuasive is to put the focus on the other person and not yourself.  And that's why using the other person names is so vital to being heard.   We love the sound of our own name when it is spoken by others.

 

So is it enough to just use the other persons name frequently in all forms of communication?   No, how you use it can increase its effectiveness.  So here is a valuable tip I've learned....

 

"make sure you end all conversations and written communications with the persons name"

 

Doing this ensures that whatever is being said has a better chance of being remembered and being believable.    So instead of ending a conversation with a quick 'bye' or 'talk to you later' try ending it with the persons name.  For example..."it was great talking to you Rick"   or "lets chat again soon Ashley".  Most of us are good at first impressions but poor at last impressions.  And because of that its easy to stand out by just adding the persons name at the end of the conversation or communication.  So make you bye as good as you hi.

 

Using a persons name also softens the blow of criticism.   It makes the other person feel like more than just an employee if you ended a criticism with something like..."I'm sure you understand the importance of making this change and will do your best Bill".

 

And sometimes its best to not put your name at the bottom of the email.   They know that the message is from you so why not just end it on their name.    If you want you could put your initials but even that is not necessary.   Better to just end it with the sweetest sound to their ears....their name!

 

 

 

 

 



The little know proverb that changes lives

If at first you don't succeed remember this....

This proverb was written over 1,000 years ago by a very wise sage. It has been passed down from one generation to another and to this day it has reminded men and women to persevere and not let life's little setbacks and disappointments knock you off your path. The great proverbs are short, simple and contain a great truth. They are easy to remember because of their simplicity while still containing an important lesson.

CONFESSION TIME.....I just made that little story and the proverb up. I thought it would make my attempt to write a proverb sound wise and important. Did it work? Ok, it may not go down as one of the worlds great proverbs but I still like it anyway.

But wait it gets better....

I also re-wrote the Serenity Prayer

CONFIDENTIAL ...Rules of the World (for Guru's)

(click on picture to enlarge)

 

 

 

Psst...before you can graduate from 'Guru U' you must commit to this!