You need this super power

"Common sense is so rare it should be considered a super power"

Before you write this off as another of my wacko ideas consider the abilties of my new super hero...Common Sense Guy.   I hope you weren't under any delusions that common sense is common?

So here are some his special powers...

1.  Able to go undected to the general population for extremely long periods of time.

2.  Able to see through the bull crap of politicians, greedy corporate guys, narcissists, snake oil salesman (sometimes disguised as motivational and success money grabbers)  and delusional fanatic religous types.   Hell he can see through anyone's phoney baloney for that matter.

3.  Has the ability to think and act independantly.  To go agains the flow with ease. 

4.  Is not constrained by fashions, fads or silly rules.

5.  Is not considered normal and doesn't give a damn. 

I'm sure with your help we can come up with more special powers for 'Common Sense Guy'.   Ok, just to be clear there is also 'Common Sense Gal'  (this is where I really had to bite my tounque and not insert a joke lest Common Sense Guy lose his powers). 

So then this got me thinking of what would be Common Sense Guy's kryptonite?   Well that's easy...

Sex

Alcohol

Drugs

Power

Fame

Greed

I'm sure there is more kryptonite but its easy to see why common sense is so rare.  There are so many factors working against it?    And as if that wasn't enough arch enemies out to destroy 'Common Sense Guy or Gal, there is the most deadly of enemies?   Oh yeah this enemey makes the others look like Boy Scouts or Girl Guides.   

This enemy of common sense is so lethal because you never see him coming until its usually too late.   His victims even after he takes over their lives still don't even know of his presence.   Once he has taken over few survive.    Like a narcotic he makes his victims feel so good they feel omnipotent.  Why I've seen good sane likeable people turn into blathering idiots  under his influence.  

Any guesses?

Ok, I won't keep you in suspence any longer....his name is...

Self Delusion

Did you happen to see what he did to Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan?   How about James Arthur Ray?   And he really did a number on all of those Middle East dictators.   It's impossible to debate the power of the evil one...Self Delusion?

We've all at some time wondered why common sense is so rare.    As that radio guy used to say....and now you know the rest of the story!

Psssst.....just in case you might have thought you saw some resemblence between me and our hero 'Common Sense Guy'....well as my friends will tell you....that would make no sense and be downright silly!

Understanding fear and how to conquer it

"Change always involves facing a fear"

Ever wonder why some people can jump out an airplane or go bungy jumping and others won't cross the street without looking both ways.... twice?    We all have different tolerances for fear.   Some people are natural born risk takers and most of us tend to be somewhat cautious.  And its natural that as we age our risk tolerance declines.  

We've all dreamed of making big changes in our lives that would bring us wealth, success and happiness.    And yet so few make even minor changes.  Why is that?

Here is my theory...

It's like when we were kids and admired the kids who would jump off the high diving board at the local swimming pool.   But I can't recall one kid who just climbed up and jumped at the first thought of it.   No, what happened was we gradually worked our way up.  First with jumping in from the side of the pool.   When that became fun we graduated up to the low diving board.   With repetition that also became fun.   Finally with knees trembling we jumped off the high diving board.   A few more successful jumps and it turned into fun.   Then we had earned the right to tease those who hadn't progressed like we had.  

We don't do scary stuff right off the bat.   We work our way up to it.   It is usually a slow and gradual process.  Let's use public speaking as an example since it is usually referred to as one the greatest fears most people have.  

If you have a great fear of standing up in front of group to deliver a talk there would be no point in anyone saying to you ....just do it and after awhile you will lose your fear and eventually you will love it.    It just wouldn't happen and we all know it.    The fear would be too great.   That's why in my book I recommended first becoming a 'public praiser'.   That's the girl who stands up and proposes a toast to someone who has accomplished or is celebrating something.   At first doing that is uncomfortable but not totally scary.  Gradually you can work your way up to saluting someone in a bigger setting.  Each step of the way you are working your way up in the uncomfortable zone but not totally in fear.  That's how we conquer fears.  

"the uncomfortable zone is what I call the Golden Zone because when it comes to conquering fears it is where the gold is"

So now my little diagram above makes sense, right?    The Golden Zone is where you feel uncomfortable but not paralized with fear.   Gradually you expand your Golden Zone and as you do that your comfort zone expands.   You grow.  Simple!

But wait there's more....

It gets easier if when you are in the Golden Zone you look at your uncomfortableness as curiosity.   Self talk like....I wonder what it would be like for me to make the toast at my friends birthday party.   I wonder what it would be like for me to stand up and congratulate my boss for her recent promotion or accomplishment.   I wonder what it would be like.........

Staying curious can change your focus from slight fear to wonderment. 

One more thing....if you are not growing you are shrinking.   As we age its somewhat natural to take less chances and our world begins to shrink as we fall deeper into the safety of our comfort zone.   The zest for life is replace by a growing boredom and sameness.   Doesn't sound like fun to me.   I'm not sure if I'm ready to go sky diving yet but I am going para-sailing when I get back to Mexico!  (that would be in my Golden Zone).  And I'm getting really curious about the experience. I think I'll take my camera and post some pictures for you.

P.S.   If you are feeling a little uncomfortable with what you are doing in your life there is a damn good chance you are in your Golden Zone...enjoy the experience because it won't be long and it will turn into fun.  Lucky you!

 

How strong are your passions?

"Passion is energy.  Without passion nothing great every happens"

Like most of you I've set a lot of goals in my life.   Truth is I fell short of them most of the time.   This got me thinking...why is that?   I've come to the opinion that goals that don't stem from a real passion are fools gold.   Nice to daydream about but don't go trying to cash it in.  

Too many times I've confused desire with passion.   Desire is the weak sister to passion.   Everyone has desire, it is as common as false flattery and just as useful.   I can now see why the Buddha taught that cause of unhappiness is desire.   Desire has no energy so it doesn't move you.    You might have a desire to be rich and famous (and who hasn't at some point in their life) however it won't give the energy to go out and do what it takes to achieve your lofty dream.   If all you have is a desire you may as well get that bucket of ice cream and turn on a soap opera for all the good it will do you. 

I developed a passion to write my first book and it happened.    Until my desire turned into that passion it was a nice to thing to daydream about but for many years that's all it was....a daydream.   Lately my desire to write a business book has been slowly turning into a passion.   I'm starting to feel like I'm being caught up in a wave that will carry me forward. 

"The only goal worth having is to find something you can be passionate about"

Do you have a passion?   I really hope so because if you do then the rest of us may just as well get out of your way or else help you persue it.   It's damn hard to dissuade a person of passion.   And who would want to anyway?   People of passion are exciting to be around.   Their passion rubs off on us and we catch some of the energy that comes from passions. 

So my wish is for you to find a passion and you will if that's what you truly want.   Live happy and prosper!



Dangerous thoughts ahead....

What if I was a poet

Ok, I confess I'm no poet but I'm willing to try most things just for the fun of it!

The best seduction skill to have?

“it’s not who you know, it’s who you know that likes you”

Odds are you are going to be a flop in the game of life, if you don’t master this skill! If you want to have any hope in seducing life, this it. The good thing is that you can master it (if you haven’t already). Yes, of course I am talking about likeability.

“if you weren’t born beautiful and talented, life will still be kind to you, if you are highly likeable”

Being likeable having an unfair advantage over others. The likeable, tend to get the best jobs, have more friends and better relationships. And this doesn’t even scratch the surface of the benefits.

“ can you think of anyone who was ever seduced by an un-likeable person”

You might be convinced through logic and persuasion to do someone’s bidding but never will you be seduced if you don’t find them at likeable. Let me give you an example of the importance of being likeable. Awhile back, I read of a study that was done to determine the likeability of the U.S. Presidents. In every case since the advent of television, the candidate who was deemed by the public to be the most likeable person (by the public) won each election. How is that for powerful…

“it isn’t the choices we make about other people that makes life fun, easy and abundant, it’s the choices they make about us”

Need more convincing? Here are some more benefits that the likeable people get:

*Doctors give better care and more time to the patients they like (which of course means they live longer and experience less pain)

*They inspire others to give more

*They are viewed as being more trustworthy (a pretty good skill to have if you want to sell something)

* Likeable students get more attention and better grades

* We forgive them quicker for any misdeeds (I could use that one)

* They get better service and better deals from businesses.

“you don’t have to be likeable to succeed anymore than you have to be smart, but unless you have something against having an advantage, it sure helps”

There will always be the foolish few, who actually prefer to go it alone. Their attitude is…I don’t need other people to make it. I admire a person with principles but that is a dumb one. If others want to help me and make my life easier and more fun, I say welcome aboard friend.

“likeable people are happier than others, a coincidence…I think not”

The Rules of the World....a must read