Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Do you know the magical numbers and why they are magical?

The magical number for business success is 3.   
Research has shown that a work place will be most productive if employees receive at least 3 positive comments or impressions for every negative one.  Ok, the actual ratio is 2.9 to 1 but lets not get too picky.   This is called the 'Losada Ratio'.
Once it falls below that magical ratio discontent sets in and people start planning their escape or they simply stop putting in a full effort.   Above that ratio and people flourish.  Sounds simple right?   And guess what?   It is just that simple.
This simple ratio meets my criteria, easy and abundant!   Start looking for ways to give compliments and positive feedback and you will be richly rewarded.   And this isn't just all positivity stuff because it still allows the manager/owner to be real.   Let's face it sometimes something negative needs to be said.   Just remember the ratio   of 3 to 1.  It's pure gold!
The magical number for relationships is 5.
To maintain a strong and loving relationship the ratio changes to 5 to 1 positive feedbacks to negative ones.    Yeah, we could have guessed it?    It takes more positivity to maintain a relationship than a business.   Oh well, it's worth it!
The research this is based on was done by John Gottman and has been tested extensively.    In fact the guy can predict within minutes which relationships will last and which are headed for the divorce courts.   How does he do it?   Simple he give couples contentious topics like money problems or sex problems and then counts the ration of positive to negative comments and body language.   For instance when one partner sighs or looks skyward when the other talks that is a negative impression. 
So could the secret to successful relationships be that simple?  Yes!   It does mean however that you both need to be vigilent to seek out opportunities to say something nice.   Here are a few suggestions:
* express your gratitude for everything the other person does for you
* say thank you
* comment on things you normally take for granted
* make it a habit to notice changes in your spouse (new dress, hair cut etc)
* remember and express the reasons you originally fell in love
Or even simpler....cut out the negative comments where possible.   Before you make that less than desireable comment ask it really necessary to say it!
CAUTION.....don't go overboard with the positivity thing or it will become meaningless and unreal.   Life is sometimes a little messy and we all have our ups and downs. 
P>S>   I wish someone would have told me this 30 years ago!   

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