The real secret to success

 

"Stop trying to sell and start trying to build relationships"

 

When you build your business on the basis of; the best price, the best service or best product, you may lose your business as soon as someone else comes along with a better price, product or service.   However, when they really like you, then you have to really screw up before they will take their business elsewhere!

 

 

 



Powerful persuasion tips

Powerful persuasion tips that you should know

Imagine that you are at this tropical beach. It is a beautiful hot day with a gentle breeze off of the ocean. You are warm, relaxed and peaceful. The sun feels sooo good on your body. You are totally contented and happy.

Now think about me the writer. How do you feel about my personality? Odds are that if you really allowed yourself to imgine being in that hammock on the beach that you will feel better about me also. Just by imagining being warm and relaxed improves your feelings about me or anyone else you immediately come into contact with.

So why am I telling you this? Because the feeling of warmth is very seductive. If you want to persuade someone to your point of view or buy your product or service you should always try to warm them up first. This is a persuasion technique called priming. It is priming you with a good feeling before introducing any request.

I'm not saying that you should bring them pictures of tropical beaches (but it might help). There are many ways to warm up a person. Here are a few...

Give them a hot drink. Researchers found that even just holding a hot drink (without drinking it) caused people to feel warmer towards others. They also found that when people were given a hot drink they became more generous and more likely to give to others. So you want your sweetie to do something for you, give them a hot drink first.

A warm handshake warms up you both. Now if you live in a cold climate location you need to ensure that you warm up your hands before shaking hands with someone. If you are going to introduced to someone and if you can discretely warm up your hands you are going to perceived much better. Just rub your hands together rapidly. They won't know why but they will instantly feel a closer bond with you by shaking a warm hand. Cool huh?

Who doesn't love a good hug? Sadly there are a very few who don't like to be touched but not many. The problem is its not a good idea to hug people you just met. But if you are going to persuade someone you know and you can safely hug them they will melt in agreement. Just thinking about this makes me want a hug?

A great smile will warm any heart. You've got so use it! It's darn near impossible to resist returning a great smile.

Warm words. Reaserchers found that when bell hops went to carry bags from a room for guests that if they mentioned it was a beautiful sunny day their tips increased. Just talking about a sunny day was enough to warm up the other person. So words matter. Oh by the way did I mention its going to be a beautiful sunny day today? And how would you feel about buying me a Baileys and coffee?

And finally....

That's right....its good to have beautiful sunny images to warm you up and your clients.

Now that I've warmed you up to my ideas, would you like to buy a great book?

Do you become what you pretend to be?

You become what you pretend to be

"Creative visualization is a good technique to walk you towards your goals and aspirations but pretending is like having a Ferrari"

Last night the wedding photographer cornered me for a conversation right after my MC duties were over. He said, I just wanted to say that God blessed you with a natural talent for speaking and entertaining a crowd. I kept noticing how much the people in this room loved you. I hope that you are appreciative of the gifts that God gave you?

As much as I was willing to let him inflate my little pointed head, I thought to myself this isn't really true. Because if God gave me that gift he sure hid it from me for a long time. And he hid it so well it took many years to find it.

I'm the guy who failed Grade 12 English because I was so painfully shy that I couldn't deliver a 3 minute speech to my classmates. My marks up to the end of class were plenty good enough to pass but this teacher was determined to use me as an example to the rest of the class. That old battle axe, as I called her, actually flunked me because of my shyness disability.

So how did I go from the shy introverted kid to someone that people believe has a natural talent in front the crowd? After I got out of school and into the big bad world I quickly recognized that my shyness liability was hurting me so I convinced myself to start pretending that I wasn't shy. I couldn't go from shy to public speaker in one step just by pretending, that would be just too big a leap.

So I started out on the edges of my comfort zone. I started pretending by occasionally speaking out in a small group and worked my way up to larger groups. Amazingly, people stopped seeing me as shy and just assumed I was normal. It has progressed over the years. Then one day I realized that I actually had become an extrovered guy. Wow...I pretended my way to being perceived as a 'natural born speaker'. Amazing!

As I said, start pretending on the edges of your comfort zone. There is no point pretending to be a medical doctor when you haven't graduated from high school. Small progressive pretending steps will take you a long way towards your objective. No need to be delusional about it.

"You become who you pretend to be"

You start acting as if....and one day....you are! How beautifully simple is that? And the reason this works is because you are actually taking positive action towards becoming something. That is the big flaw in using visualization to achieve something. Without action it just doesn't work very well. You can sit their all day visualizing and try to create some perfect vibration but at the end of day nothing much changes. And that is why I say....

"Positive thoughts without positive action is a postive waste of time"

It's more fun and productive to pretend to be what you want to become. So what can you pretend to be?

Psst....now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go b

CONFIDENTIAL.....keep this secret to yourself!

The secret they REALLY don't want you to know?

"Boring people work twice as hard, make half as much and hardly have any fun at all"

So why would anyone chose a boring life? Boring is no fun and yet so many accept it! It's because there is a certain safetly in being boring. To be boring is to conform to societies expectations for you. In return you are given the safety of a wage. It may not be a great wage but you won't starve by being boring. You work hard and do as you are told and in return you are virtually guaranteed to survive. Work harder than everyone else and you may even make a little more money than your peers. You won't get rich (that's for the owners) but there is a satisfaction that you are making more than your buddies.

Society wants you to be boring. Big business needs workers who are compliant, hard working and who will do it for minimal pay. Governments want boring so that you will pay your taxes and not pay attention to what those on the top are doing with your money and freedoms.

"Boring is like an addictive drug, it seems harmless at first but before you know it you are hooked and can't get off the damn stuff"

Once the habit of boring is instilled in you it is really hard to kick. Habits whether they are good or bad for you are damn tough to break. Of course if they told you that it was called boring you would reject the idea immediately. So instead they tell you that what they are selling is called security. You comply and your reward after 30 years of boring work is the golden retirement (maybe).

"Boring lulls you into compliance and then robs you of your life"

The big promise of security is that after all those years of compliance and hard work you will get to retire in your so called golden years. You've seen the commercials....the fit handsome older couple walking on the beach, sipping the wine and living the dream. Thirty years later maybe and maybe not! They don't tell you that some companies go broke and poof there goes the pension fund. Governments squander the monies that they were supposed to putting aside for your golden years.

The Secret Antitode To Boring

There is a cure to boring and they don't want you to have it. The cure can make your life rewarding and interesting. It can open up your natural creative talents and lead you to places you never dreamed possible. It will improve your relationships, make you richer and make every year golden (not just your retirement years). It is so powerful that it can break the bonds of compliance and boredom instantly. If the masses ever truly understood it then big business and governments would be in trouble. This stuff removes your cloudy vision and opens up a whole new and wonderful world of possibilities. And most important of all....it is free and there is a a never ending supply of the stuff. Wow!

So how do they hide the cure from us?

They trivialize it, they marginialize it and they mock it. They hide it plain sight and laugh at you behind your back because you don't recognize it when its been right in front of you all of the time. But secretly they fear its power because they know if you ever figure it out, all control over you is lost! You will be free and you will never again be under their influence.

I know what you are thinking....

Damn you Guru quit dragging this out and tell me what the freaking cure is? Ok, I will gladly share the truth with you but first you have to promise me that before you reject it, you will give the answer some time to soak into your being before you fall into their trap. Remember you have been conditioned to trivializing it or marginalizing it?

Good. The cure to boredom is....FUN! See I told you that you might feel the urge to dismiss it. Remember they told you fun was trivial and not to take it serious. And yet fun is the most serious thing in your life. Why? I'll tell you why fun is the most important thing in your life. Why it is a life changer. It's because....

"Energy flows to fun"



If you remember nothing else from this article remember this....energy flows to fun. Energy is life force, without it everything stagnates and dies. Boredom is lethal to energy. You've seen yourself what happens to a bored person? That's right they lay around and do nothing...no energy! Boredom kills your creativity, stifles your potential and makes you comliant.

Now that you know the cure what are you going to do about it?

You want loving relationships? Put the fun (energy) back into it
You want to increase your income? Find out how to have fun at what you do and problem solved.
You want spiritual satisfaction? Mix in some fun in and just watch what happens
You want to live in the moment? Make it fun
You want to be truly creative? Have some fun playing with ideas and thoughts
You want to be healthy and fit? Add a generous portion of fun to your exercise and your diet
You want to eliminate hard and difficult from your life? Yep, have more fun!
You want to inspire or heal a friend? Show them how to have fun

I will say this again...the most important discovery to a happy rewarding life is.....FUN! Isn't that beautiful? Why? Because energy flows to fun. It's just that simple and wonderful. Energy flows to fun. Think about it and you can buy me a beer later....

And now you know why I always say...

Life was meant to be fun, easy and abundant!

Psssst....if you like this idea and would like to share it with your friends hit the f button below and you will make us both happy. And I would love to hear your comments on it!

Persistance.....does it help or does it hurt your chance of success?

Persistance....it's not all it's cracked up to be

Sometimes I get annoyed with the 'warrior' types and their endless chants of...never ever, ever give up! Not only is it annoying but at times it is downright foolish.

Persistance is a valued trait if applied with thought and reason. Blind persistance can take you so far down the wrong road you may never find your way back. Sometimes what we are doing, just is never going to work and we need to make changes. So this makes more sense to me...

"If at first you don't succeed.....try, try again. If it still doesn't work....try different"

Its all about....

*Knowing what you want

*Knowing what you are getting

*Making changes until you get what you want or

*Finding a new want

It's not so much about giving up your dreams and more about being open to changing the path to the dream or finding a dream better suited to you. As Darwin said...it isn't the strongest that survive...it's the most flexible (and adapatable).

So I've given up on my dream of being the next Dali Lama and settling down with Lady GaGa...Dang!

Life was meant to be fun, easy and abundant, so quit beating your head against the wall. It's stupid and its making a mess of the drywall.

Friends with benefits....let's keep this our little secret

Friends with benefits

"a true friend is someone who thinks you are a 'good egg' even though he knows you are slightly cracked" (Bernard Metzer)

Research has shown that those of us with good friends, will live longer and be happier and healthier. I don't need to quote any study because there have been so darn many to support this theory.

"good friends are hard to come by and even harder get rid of" Eric Yoda Wallman

Friends liven up your life with twisted jokes and embarassing stories. They are the source of my best belly laughs. They must be the world's best stress reliever.

Now just in case you looked at the above photo and got the idea that my friends are all females, sadly that is not so! It's just that they are so much better looking than their husbands and boyfriends and I wanted my site to look really good! And just in case you got the wrong idea from the article title...that's funny but not so!

"many people will walk in and out of your life
but only a true friend will show up with cold beer on a hot day"


I wish you as many wacky friends as I have. As a matter of fact if you want I could lend you one!

The amazing power of a good hug

"Fear is laughable in the embrace of a great hug"

I had to chuckle when I read a study that showed that fear disapates when we are hugged. I mean really, didn't we already know that. Every parent learns instintively that a scared child can be calmed down with a good loving hug. And yet I do keep learning more about the power of a hug all the time. Let me tell you a little story....

I was the MC at a friends wedding. During the wedding ceremony I could not help but notice that the Maid of Honor looked distressed. After the ceremony was over I took her aside and asked if everything was ok? She told me she was freaked out about giving the toast to the bride. She really surprised me since she isn't the bashful type. But she told me that just thinking about standing up and having all eyes on her was making her sick.

She showed me pages and pages of notes. I think I'd be nervous if I had to read from all of those papers? Then I got an idea! I told her to put away the papers and just speak from the heart about her best friend. I also assurred her that I make her so relaxed she would enjoy her moment.

It was time to introduce the head table. When I got to her, here is how I introduced her....'and this is my friend Marilyn who is also the brides best friend. Marilyn is one the sweetest and kindest people I know and a world class hugger. And if any you people doubt me...just go check her out yourself!'

A handsome young man leaped to his feet and shouted out, "I'll check her out". The crowd roared as he went up and gave her a long enthusiastic hug. Marilyn was laughing along with the crowd. Then 3 more young men took up the challenge. The room was rocking with laughter and just when it started to subside the preacher stood up said he wanted to check her out as well. Not this was getting hillarious. I've never seen Marilyn laughs so hard and she is a girl who loves to laugh.

Immediately after the preacher had his hug I asked her to give her toast to the bride. She gave a beautiful loving toast and did it with good humor and grace. It was perfect!

Hugging releases the cuddle homone oxytocin into your brain. The beautiful thing about oxytocin is that it reaches the brain almost instantaniously. Oxytocin has a dampening effect on fear.

So if you are ever nervous about public speaking just get some good hugs first. It works amazingly well. Toastmaster should promote my idea and it would speed up helping people get over their fears of public speaking. And of course its fun and just plain feels good.

BONUS TIP......

Understand the native problem....Idle No More

Understanding the Native problems..

Imagine that Canada had been invaded by the United States? Imagine that Canadians suffered a terrible defeat against a far superior foe. As a result, all of us Canadians were forced out of our homes and onto small tracks of very poor land.

As a result of our losing the war and agreeing to not fight back we were forced into signing treaties that forced us into signing away our rights to our own homes and lands. As some small settlement we were guaranteed free health care, education and housing. In addition we would be forced onto small tracts of mostly unproductive and poor land. Well that’s what happened to natives in this country.

Now less you think, hey that doesn’t sound so bad, look at the free stuff they got? But guess what? We all get free health care and education and we provide low cost housing for the poor.

Our ugly past

In the 50’s the government decided the way to solve the Indian problem was to force the Indian out of those natives. So they ripped the children from their families at ages as young as 4. They placed them in residential schools were they were severely abused; physically, emotionally, mentally and sexually. And many wonder there are so many alcohol and drug problems on reserves? It will take a few generations to get over that.

Can you even imagine your little kids being taken away from you at such a tender age and abused like that?

You could have been an American

In the War of 1812 the Americans invaded Canada and would have surely won were it not for Chief Tecumseh siding with the Canadians. That was crucial to victory. So you would be an American were it not for the natives!

We are all descendents of invaders



Europeans invaded what we now call Canada and the United States. It was brutal and cruel take over. Ahh but you say….that was years ago! Well what if a country say like China invaded Canada and won. Would you say 50 to 100 years from now your children would be saying…oh that’s ok we lost the war and we just have to live with it? I don’t think so.

So what is it really about?

Two words…..money and honour.

When it comes to money, many of today’s disputes comes down what does the government owe the natives in the way of health care, education and housing.

Have you seen pictures of some of the deplorable housing conditions they live with? Mix in with that contaminated water and many live in third world conditions. That’s why Amnesty International has cited Canada for our terrible treatment of our natives. One of the worst records in the western industrial countries.

And lastly there is honour.

When a country enters into a treaty with another country, shouldn’t they be obligated to honour their lawful agreements? This is what the current ‘Idle no more’ movement is about. The Canadian government is trying to change the terms of the original agreement.

Native problems

Yes natives have a ton of their own problems such as drug and alcohol abuse and corruption of their leaders. But wait, I just read about Alberta’s Premier Ms Redford being investigated for possible abuses of public monies? And anyone remember the Liberal corruption scandel that brought down that government.

So I guess as they say….those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones!

Metis and Natives not living on reservations

The courts have recently ruled that Metis people and natives not living on reservations should have the same recognition as other natives. So why should they get any special recognition?

The Metis people (sometimes crudely referred to as half breeds) suffered many of same abuses as the natives. After the Riel Rebellion many Metis peoples were forced off their lands. The property was then given to white people.

It should be noted that some of the most successful farmers at that time were Metis and natives. Pretty convenient way to take from one and give it to your buddies, huh?

So don’t give me that B.S. about the poor dumb natives living off the teat of the government. It’s about what is fair and honourable!

Giver takers fools and fakers

"You can easily tell who is a true friend?  When you've made a fool of yourself she doesn't think you've done a permanent job"

If you were to ask me, what one thing will guarantee that your life will be fun, easy and abundant?   I would say...surround yourself with givers.   Having friends who are givers is the cherry on top life's meaning.

5 Great benefits of having givers as friends
(there are many more of course)

1.   There is no such thing as...it's my turn.   No need to keep track of who did what because givers love to give.

2.  Givers give off positive energy.   Their positive energy lifts you up and makes you feel good about yourself.

3.  Givers make you want to be a better person.

5.  Someone always has your back.   Just knowing that when you stumble, someone will put out a hand is reassurring.   If you are being criticised in your absence someone will defend you. 

6.   Having givers as friends means a life of pleasant surprises.   You never know what will be given to you for no reason other than that you are loved.  (Yeah I know that makes six benefits but what the heck, I just felt giving a little more).

Takers

Avoid these people like you would an unnecessary root canel.   The first sign you are with a taker is that their conversation revolves around them and not you.   No matter where the conversation goes they will find a way to make it about themselves.   They will use you and abuse you.  They are self centered and immature.   They believe that in order for them to succeed they need to take from others.  These people are toxic to your happiness.

Fools

The fools are takers but don't know it (at least not consciously).   They may see themselves as givers but they suck the energy out of you.   They may make you a supper but then they dump every morsel of their problems on your plate.   These are people who as I said appear to be givers but tend to be so negative that they are draining to be around.

Fakers

The fakers are the ones that calculate that if they give they will get something back.  They only give because they think it will gain them something now or down the road.   They will fool you at times but mostly they fool themselves. 

What if I haven't been a giver but I want to change?

The answer is simple......give until it feels good!

The secret power of a handwritten note



"The more gatitude you show the more good fortune you recieve"

Some forms of gratitude are more powerful than others.   Here is my list from least powerful to most powerful expressions of gratitude:

Silent gratitude is the least powerful of course.
Facebook and twitter 
Text messages
Emails
Letters
Handwritten letters, thank you cards and notes
Gifts

These days its hard to ignore the efficiency of some form of an electronic message.  It's fast and easy to do.   And that's why you shouldn't do it....because its what everyone else is doing and so you won't stand out or be remembered.  

It takes your personal time to hand write a message.   It is memorable, remarkable and it sustains.   Electronic type messages are soon deleted and forgotten in the avalanche of daily communications we receive. 

Here is how to make your messages memorable...

Write clearly and neatly.  

Awhile back I received a thank you card from a Westjet Vice President thanking me for the ideas I had submitted and that they had employed.   That was nice except for one thing.....his writing was so damn sloppy it was nearly impossible to read it.   No point in scanning it and using it as a reference or even showing it to my buddies.  A total waste!

Make it personal.

"Thanks you did a great job" is not near as powerful as something like this..."Hey Eduardo you did a remarkable job on the Westjet file.    Your ideas made a huge difference and I absolutely loved your humor and willingness to share your insights.  Thanks a ton"    Which note would you like to get?

Be sincere.

Flattery is phoney but a sincere compliment is a gift that keeps on giving.

It can be a gift.

Many times I've seen others showing off a note or card they received that was complimentary. So to that person its like a gift.

Don't limit it to thank you's.

Sometimes a handwritten letter or note of encouragement goes a long way to motivate others.    I've used handwritten notes to solve differences with others.   The real secret of a handwritten note is that it forces the other person to hear you out.   In a conversation its our nature to be thinking about what we are going to say while the other person is talking and thus not be fully focused on what they are saying.  And the recipient can re-read it later.