To err is human

I like this kid because he is a world class rule breaker!

The awesome power of 'because'

Getting others to want to do something for you is a fun challenge.  A good secucer or seductress, has mastered many techniques.   The proper usage of the word 'because', is one of them.   Getting another person to want to comply with your wishes, is more likely to meet with success, if you explain why they should. 

"the first rule of seduction, it to make the other person feel good about themselves"

No one likes to be told what to do (especially me).   From the time when we were small kids, we grew a great dislike for the power others had over us.  We built up resistance to authority.   It makes us feel powerless.   So we much prefer to be asked and be given reasons to justify the request.   A request followed by a reason greatly increases our willingness to comply. 

"want to really annoy someone, tell them the reason is...because I told you so"

Just reading those words takes me back to my rebellious youth.   Because I told you so, is not a reason, it is a demonstration of power over me.   Thinking about that makes we want to break the speed limit or dye my hair purple....just because. 

"our authomatic responses were developed over the years, based on reason, or at least the appearance of reason"

Using the word because, followed any kind of reasonable explanation, triggers in us an automatic obligation to comply.  We lose the powerless feeling, because we feel the other persons need to justify the request.   This empowers us and greatly increases the chances that we will comply. 

So when some sweet thing says...Eduardo could you do me a favour and buy me a margarita, because I'm feeling lonely and vulnerable...her chances of me complying with her wish, just went through the roof.  But let's keep that our little secret.   Now go out there and have some fun with this useful knowledge.   And don't do it because I told you so.

When inspiration comes will you be ready?

"life is too much fun, not to make more mistakes"

While at a 'farewell party' for some friends who are moving back to Turkey, the thought you see above came to me.  Normally I always have a pen and some index cards to capture my insightful good stuff.   This thought seemed so good for me, I had to capture it quickly, less the beer wash away my memory.   So I did what any writer would do in such a situation...

I asked around until I found a friend with an input device and entered into my palm pilot. Then asked my photographer friend Linda to snap a picture, just in case I got hit with stuipidity and accidentaly washed away my wisdom.    SNFAS...Situation normal found a solution.   Return to the party...



What this world needs is a recess

"the world would be a better place if you joined the rescue recess movement"

I remember fondly, as a kid in school when the recess bell would ring.  My heart would leap for joy, and I would always race to the first one to hit the swings or grab a scoccer ball.   Ahhh...recess, the best part of going to school.  A chance to get out the stuffy boring classroom and to do what I do best...play!  Too bad they didn't give marks for recess?   I could have been the A student, my mother had always hoped I would be. 

"but now that we are all grown up, it's time to rally the troops and bring back recess for adults"

Imagine if every business gave it's employees a recess in the morning and another in the afternoon.  I would be willing to bet, that productivity would increase with all of that good oxygen being pumped into your brain.  And the reduction in stress in the workplace would make it a much happier environment.  It's just not possible to be stressed when you are having fun.

Being the mind reader, that I think I am, I can hear some of you saying...we have coffee breaks now, so is this just semantics?   No, foolish one, don't think in terms of a coffee break, think of it as a fun break.  On my planet, companies around the world, would do whatever was necessary to facilitate two fun breaks a day.  Upon careful consideration, it dawned on me that 20 minutes, wouldn't be long enough.   After all, who cares how long the recess is, if productivity and quality of work improves?

"energy flows to fun" 

We've got it all wrong, life isn't and shouldn't be all about serious stuff.    No, life was meant to be fun, easy and abundant.  Creativity is the offspring of fun.   And energy flows to fun, which leads to abundance.   Isn't that beautiful?

"another beautiful idea....relationship recess"

When your relationship is on the rocks, instead of seeking out a traditional counsellor, why not go see a trained 'Happiness Counsellor'?  They would prescribe a heavy dose of fun to be taken for an extended relationship recess.  If an intense fun break, didn't work for you, then go straight to the lawyer.  

"and what about Happy School for the slow learners"

Sadly, some folks have gotten so out of touch with their inner child, that an intervention is their only hope.  A few courses at my Happy School, should straighten them out in no time.  They might have the option of some courses like;  

Silly is Smart,
Swings 101
Puddle Jumping
Hide and go Seek
Playhouse Construction Basics
and How to get in touch with your bike again

Sounds like fun, huh?

P.S.   Donations to the 'Rescue Recess Movement' can be sent directly to me!

Pssst....If you are one of those people who throws nickels around, like they were  man hole covers, you can still help spread the word, just push the F button right below this and share it with your facebook friends.    Thanks..

Yesterday, I read ....'the one you are waiting for is you'

so of course I made this...

How Seducers Build Trust

"warriors and seducers both understand the importance of trust.  They just go about it differently"

Warriors understand and live by principals like; honor, truth and keeping your word.  Over time their efforts pay off and they do earn the trust of others.  This is a fine method, but as I said, it takes time (sometimes of a heck of a lot of time).

Since seducers believe in there always being more than one answer, they are attuned to other possibilities.  For them it is great fun to look beyond the obvious.  Seducers are apt to ask themselves, is there a quicker, easier and more fun to build trust?   Now, you being a fellow seducer, I'm happy to share the skinny with you.  Here is the first lesson...

"trust doesn't always have to be earned"

Sometimes it is given freely and quickly, just because we happen to really like someone.  Studies have shown, that we are always quicker to trust those who are likeable.  And the good news is that likeability can be a learned behavior.  There are several good books (like How To Make People Like You in 90 seconds by Nicholas Boothman) and of course you can check in with Mr Google for more free tips online.  This is important stuff (likeability) it should be taught in school.  To a seducer or seductress, it is just as important to be likeable, as it is to be honorable and truthful. 

"if you trust that life is on yourside, life gets fun, easy and abundant"

It's easy to be optimistic, if you believe that life is on your side.  It's that inner knowing, that somehow things always seem to work out.  Those stuck in the drama of being a victim, scoff at ideas like this.  But then when did you ever meet a victim type who had a fun, easy and abundant life?   And let's get real here...we don't ever put our trust in negative people.   We do naturally trust the optimistic soul, that displays confidence in a good outcome for us.  And surprisingly, it can happen very quickly.

"passion is seductive"

One essential quality for leadership is passion.  It's damn tough to follow someone who is complacent.  Throughout the ages, passionate leaders have swayed the public and gained their trust with passion.   Admitidly, it wasn't always a trust deserved and many times abused once power was gained.  However, passion sways us.   So if you are looking for a shortcut to trust (and I know you are) passion is it.

"seducers know that a spotlight shared or given to another, will always find it's way back to the giver"

Warriors love the spotlight, and see it as one the rewards for their hard work.  Seducers also love the spotlight, but understand the value of sharing or putting the spotlight on someone else.  Singing someone's praises, especially to a third party, is a real trust builder.   How can you not trust someone who tells your boss, a friend or your spouse, just how special you are.   When the word gets back to you as it always does, you are flooded with those feel good brain chemicals that we are all addicted to.   Now, if the same words had been spoken directly to you, it may occur to you that they are just 'buttering you up' in order to gain something for you.  In sales they call this, selling to the periphery.   However, being as we are all altruistic seducers, our intentions are noble, right?

"trust given is trust returned"

When someone puts their trust in us, it is near impossible to not trust them in return.  Having someone believe in our potential or our skills, creates a bond of trust.   Being open and transparent with us, means it's ok to open and transparent with them.  This is what the rule of reciprocity is all about, what we are given we return in kind or even greater if possible.   You now have some inside information that gives you an advantage....but wait there is more!

"there is no resistance to the truth, when it is wrapped in good humor"

The skill that breaks down resisitance to trust faster than the speed of light is....humor!  No sooner do we share a good laugh, then the walls of mistrust crumble to dust.  Here is the thing about humor that most don't understand.  You don't have to be a great story or joke teller, it is just as good to be the appreciator as the teller.   How can you not like someone who busts a gut at your stories and jokes?  There is no comedian without an appreciative audience and no one knows this more than the comedian.  Sorry fake laughter doesn't work as well as the genuine stuff.  

In a past life I was a real estate sales manager and would jokingly tell my staff...'make them laugh and their wallets would open'.  Although, I would not have qualified as a great seducer back then, I can know see that I showed great promise.   Now I say...'make them laugh or share that laugh and their hearts will open'.    Trust is powerful stuff so use it responsibly.


Psst....if you like this article do me a favor and hit the f button below (for Facebook) or one of the other social media button and pass it on.