How to make better predictions

"Those who are comfortable trusting their feelings make the most accurate predictions"

That is the finding from a study done by Columbia Business School.   Their study was to determine if deliberate rational reasoning or trusting your gut feeling was better.   The finding.....those people that a higher trust in their feelings greatly outpredicted those that second guess their feelings.

Here is how they think it works...   

When you relying on your feelings for determining  what is right or wrong, you are actually using both your conscious and unconscious mind  to access knowledge and information.   Your gut feeling is actually the result of your cumulatinve knowledge. 

When it doesn't work to trust your feelings...

You must have knowledge on the subject first.   If you know nearly nothing about which your prediction or decision is based, then it is just a guess.   The more kowledge you have the better trusting your feelings works.  Makes sense, right?

I'm thinking this is much the same way intuition and those aha moments work.   It's accessing your conscious and subconscious knowledge.   The best ideas come when you a real depth of knowledge on the subject.

"You've trusted your head and where has that got you?   Maybe its time to trust your feelings"

And just to prove to you how good I am at this, I am going to make a bold prediction based on my gut feeling?   Tonight I'm going to sit down with a cold beer and watch the hockey game.    My team is going to kick some serious butt and go on to make the playoffs!   Nah, just kidding...those bums couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag!   (and I have a very strong feeling about that)

Relax....quit thinking so much and it will get better

"You would be a lot smarter if you didn't always think so much"

I just discovered the cure for procrastination! And lucky you because I'm going to share it with you. So lets the bells ring out and the banners fly, its too good to be true. The cure for procrastination is....quit thinking. That's it. And it gets even better....

"Stop thinking is also the solution for getting more productive."

I know just what you are thinking....you got some explaining to do Guru?

Ok, here is what causes us to procrastinate, we start thinking about what we are supposed to do. Then we start thinking why we don't need to do it right now. A whole avoidance senerio goes in our mind. And before we know it, we've talked ourselves out it. As some wise guy once said...'why put off until tomorrow what you can put off until next week'.

So the trick is to start as quick as you can. Don't think about it just start and voila procrastination is whipped in seconds. Too much thinking leads to delays, excuses and problems.

Now what about this increased productivity thing Mr. Guru?

Same thing too much planning of what you are going to do each day leads to inaction. Just get started and plan as you go. This way you will get more done. A rough guide is all you need, too much fine planning slows you down and sometimes even gets you discouraged. As that annoying Nike ad says...just do it (and do it now).

But wait it gets better..

Do you want get more courage? No problem...quit thinking so much. The reason courage fails us is mostly because we think to much about the consequences. Now sometimes that's a really good thing but sometimes it prevents us from going outside of our comfort zones. The great achievements in life usually happen outside your comfort zone and too much thinking can get in the way. Think about that?

So there you have it, a simple solution from a simple Guru!

The meek are already inheriting the world

NOTE; No alcohol was consumed during the formation of our thesis

This all started from a conversation with my amiga Daisy (aka Nancy P). During a walk down the beaches of Mazatlan we were discussing my fascination with paradox's. Daisy pointed out that the bible also had many paradox's. So I decided to at least examine one of them. The first that came to mind was...

"and the meek shall inherit the earth"

This had me mentally tied up in knots, because let's face it, it makes no sense. How the heck could the meek ever hope to inherit anything, much less the earth? And for that matter, who was the meek, Jesus was referring to. There being no biblical scholars on the beach that day, I turned to another friend, Yoda (aka Eric W). This warranted one more beach stroll and much discussion, and then Yoda had an epiphany.

Yoda rationalized that men are the stronger sex and women are the weaker sex. Therefore they would qualify as a meeker race. Now since meek means humble and patient, and I know of no men who qualify for that, I was speechless. The more we discussed it, the more damn sense it seemed to make. Good grief men....

One day women will inherit the earth...YIKES!

But come to think of it, we men haven't done a very good job of running the planet so far. We've polluted the world in the name of progress (which is code for greed). We've raped, pillaged, abused and killed each other and nature. We have been extremely poor stewards and that's being overly kind.

Women are the only humans in training

Think about this; women are the only one's who receive training in how to be a good human. They have been throughout history, the one's who raised the children. They are the people who nuture and protect the defenceless. They teach harmony and mandate sharing. They tend to manage the family resources and ensure everyone is fed. Damn good training for running the planet!

Note to men!

I know what you are thinking? Bull crap, it will never happen. Well buddies, I would like to find agreement with you however....

It is already happening..

The first seminal change was when women got the right to vote. It started in one country but spread like a prairie wild fire and it continues today. Now contemplate this?

There are more women than men on the planet

And they live longer as well. Political power for women is only, one more vote than a man away. Some countries have already had female leaders. More are on their way. Need more evidence? A few weeks ago my son told me that 60% of the students in his law class were women. I checked and this ratio continues throughout universities in the land. And we know how lawyers lust for power and make the laws!

The quiet takeover has begun

Quietly women are assuming more positions of authority (read power) and it is progressively increasing. My opinion is, that it is already past the tipping point. It is inevitable....

The meek are going to inherit the earth

And the meek (women) have been trained to share, nuture, protect the weak, and create harmony. Oh sure, as Robin Williams once said...if women ruled the world, every month we would have a few days of intense negotiations, but then we would all get along like a happy little family. And if a few countries started fighting, I could see them being told to take a time out until they could come out and apologize. Probably get their trading priveliges suspended for a week or two as punishment.

So now you know the truth

I was going to ask you to keep this secret but upon reflection, it sounds pretty damn appealing. So I say bring it on girls! And while you are at it, you can take over my job as well and I'll stay home with the kids. (ok, my son is at university, but I'm sure I could think of something else to occupy my time, you know like a cold beer on a hot beach)

I am a daydream achiever

Throughout my undistinquished and limited scholastic career there was always one constant I can remember. Every report card I carted home to my disappointed mother always seemed to be annotated with this....."Edward could do much better but he spends too much time in class daydreaming". Lucky for me, as Mark Twain said...'I never let my schooling interfere with my education'.

My teachers were in full agreement that the only thing that seperated me from doing my mother proud was my lack of discipline and interest. I'm sure if they could of, they would have advised mom to lower her expectations with this child. But little did they know that while I was daydreaming about riding my bike or that pretty little thing across the aisle, I was actually developing my creative muscle. I was growing more neuron connections for future use.

"our brains are much more activated when we daydream"

That is the findings of a recent study published by the prestigous Academy of Sciences. They discovered that the activity of numerous regions of our brains increases as our minds wander. Previously they had believed that our brains went dormant or at least in some kind of slow motion when we daydream. The common belief was that mind-wandering was associated with laziness.....FOOLS!

"We spend almost half of our waking hours mind wandering" (unless you are me, in which case it can be much longer)

Isn't that amazing? Half of our waking hours the light is on but no one is home? This can be both good and bad. We can be worrying about the future or ruminating about the past. That's what I call..'Mind Wandering Trouble'. No good can come from this. As some wise guy once said...worry is using your imagination to make things worse.

The there is 'Mind Wandering Neutral'. This is when you are listening to music or watching the idiot box. You are letting an outside influence do the thinking for you.

So what's good about mind wandering you ask? Good question grasshopper and fortunately for you I have an answer. I call it 'Mind Wandering Fun'. This when you are conjuring up good ideas, day dreaming about a beautiful future or planning some venture.

So the good or the bad depends on what type of mind wandering your are doing. Most folks let the mind wander in which ever direction it chooses. But I got the idea that if the mind wanders almost half of our waking hours, why not try and direct and harness its powers to my advantage? Brilliant, huh?

A mini course in 'Mind Wandering Fun'

1. I have discovered that the best way to direct your wandering thoughts is to give your mind a question. The answers to which will be to your benefit. So for instance, I started out with the question...How can I use my mind wandering to my advantage?

2. Write your question out on an index card. This is really important because without a visual reminder your mind might lose its way and end up in mind wandering trouble.

3. Jot down on the back of the card all the ideas or answers that come to you.

4. Put the card where you will see it often. I put one in the car, another by my computer and another on the bathroom mirror. (my son see's them and thinks I'm nuts but oh well it works) Without the constant visual reminder your mind will lose its way. Maybe that's why people have told me in the past....you've lost your mind Eduardo!

5. It's important that you take note of ALL your thoughts and ideas ASAP. It has been my experience that if you don't record ideas they are so easily forgotten. Also,  if don't immediately record your ideas you get cut off from the source they came from.

6. Stay with one question until you've either found what you were looking for or you get bored with it. If you get bored with it...change it to another question. You can always come back to the original question later with fresh eyes.

7. I sometimes end up with 4 or 5 cards full of ideas. I then review them to see which ideas I like the best (the evaluation step). However, most the time I'll come up with one idea that soars above the rest and I know it when I get it.

That's it 7 easy steps. I wrote my book using my simple 'Mind Wandering Fun' technique.  I wrote out the chapter name on a card and started collecting ideas for the chapter. From there it was easy to organize the thoughts and write the chapter.

I generate ideas for businesses using the same technique. It's fun, its easy and it works! I hope you try it because I wouldn't want you to let your mind wander....and lose it!

Persistance....it's not all it's cracked up to be

Sometimes I get annoyed with the 'warrior' types and their endless chants of...never ever, ever give up!  Not only is it annoying but at times it is downright foolish.  

Persistance is a valued trait if applied with thought and reason.  Blind persistance can take you so far down the wrong road you may never find your way back.   Sometimes what we are doing,  just is never going to work and we need to make changes.   So this makes more sense to me...

"If at first you don't succeed.....try, try again.   If it still doesn't work....try different"

Its all about....

*Knowing what you want

*Knowing what you are getting

*Making changes until you get what you want or

*Finding a new want

It's not so much about giving up your dreams and more about being open to changing the path  to the dream or finding a dream better suited to you.  As Darwin said...it isn't the strongest that survive...it's the most flexible (and adapatable).

So I've given up on my dream of being the next Dali Lama and settling down with Lady GaGa...Dang!

Life was meant to be fun, easy and abundant, so quit beating your head against the wall.   It's stupid and its making a mess of the drywall. 

   

The importance of likeability

it's not who you know it's who you know that likes you"

I've been writing for years about how to make our lives; fun, easy and over-flowing with abundance. Lately, I've been wondering...what is the easiest way to accomplish that? If there was just one thing that could impact our lives in a positive way, what would it be?

In search of an answer, I tried to think of who I knew that seemed to have a charmed, happy and profitable life? I could think of many people, some I knew and some I read about. So I asked myself, what do they have in common? And the answer is....."they are all likeable"

People who are likeable tend to get the best jobs, build the best companies, have more friends, better relationships and enjoy life more. Sounds good, right? But that doesn't even touch the benefits of being likeable. Here are a few more benefits;

* Doctors give more time and better care to patients they like

* Likeability is the most consitent predictor of election results

* Likeable people inspire others to give more

* They get better and quicker service from retail businesses

* Likeable students get better marks from teachers

* They get forgiven quicker for misdeeds (I need that one)

* They have better physical and mental health

* Live longer and happier lives

There's more but you get the point. Things come quicker and easier for likeable people. We favor them and do what we can to make their lives fun, easy and abundant. And this amigos is one of the biggest secrets I've ever learned...

"it isn't the choices we make about other people that makes life enjoyable, it's the choices they make about us"

There will always be the foolish few who actually prefer to go it alone. Their attitude is I don't need other people to make it. And with supreme effort, they still succeed. I'm just not one of those who wants to make any more effort than is necessary to reach my desires. If others want to help me out and make my life easier, I say welcome onboard.

Life is fun, easy and abundant when others want you to succeed because they like you. I've decided that at Eduardo's Happy School, the first subject taught will be....How to be more likeable! I can't think of a more important subject. My graduates will all be taught this vital skill and as a result will be world leaders in likeability.Now that we have established that the most important skill to attain in life, is likeability, the obvious question is how?

I've been researching to provide you some answers. Appreciating my limited brain power you will have to give me more time.....so come back tomorrow! I promise you some fresh insights. I might even go into more depth than the ever popular method of...buying the first round.

Smile, because I really, really like you!

I can make you smarter

HEADLINE....people who think they are smart actually become smarter!

That's an actual healine based on a recent study. Just thinking you are smart actually makes you smarter. Makes sense to me! And I suppose that the opposite is also true...those who think they are intellectually challenged (dumb) are contributing to their dumbness. 

"man is not born dumb or stupid he has to watch a hell of a lot of television to get that way"

And there's more....just by fact that you are reading this article, tells me that you are smarter than the average bear. No, it's not because of my brillance (there I go becoming brilliant). No it's simply because reading makes you smarter by way of exercising that brain muscle of yours. Surely you've noticed that dumb people frequently make remarks like....I hate reading. Which is whole like saying...I choose to get all of my information and knowledge from Homer Simpson.

So I'm thinking....

If just thinking you are smart makes you smart; then thinking I am funny should make me funnier? Oh, hold the phones, I just had an inspiration   what if I start thinking I'm handsome?

(but let's keep this our little secret, ok)

Smile, you are smarter (funnier and prettier) than you think

Why the obvious is obviously wrong

"if the obvious was the right thing to do, why are so many unhappy and unsuccessful'

The obvious

You need a high IQ to be a genius

Why it is obviously wrong?

The two greatest scientific breakthroughs of all time are considered by many to be Eintstein's theory of relativity and the discovery of DNA by James Watson and Francis Crick. I had the good fortune to be watching PBS one night and saw a fascinating interview with James Watson. What he said blew me away...

The interviewer Bill Mohr introduced James Watson as one of the worlds great genius's of our time. Watson stopped him and refuted that statement. He said, I have an IQ of 125 which I'm told is the same as the past President, George Bush. Now he really had my attention, I mean really...the same IQ as George Bush? He went on to explain that it wasn't the number of brain cells in his skull that led to the great discover.

He attributed it to an insatiable curiosity. He was just plain in a hurry to find answers. He breathed it, loved it and couldn't stop thinking about DNA. He ended by saying words something like this...

"most great inventions were a piggy back ride on someone else's hard work"

To becom a genius it's best to let someone else do the heavy lifting. There is no need to reinvent the wheel, just improve it.

The obvious

'Opportunity is missed by most because it is dressed in work clothes and looks like work'

That is the conventional wisdom but it is also not the whole truth.

Why it is obviously wrong

Hard work is paid for in wages. Wages never made anyone a billionaire. If you are to have any hope of becoming a billionaire you need to find a passion. Doing what you are passionate about is not hard work, it's fun. So let me rewrite Edison's quote above...

'Opportunity is missed by many because it is dressed up play clothes and looks like fun'

CASE CLOSED

(excerpt from my book ...How To Seduce Life

The surprising powers of singing

(this cartoon was from my very earlist attempts to draw cartoons...haven't got much better)

"I'm so good at singing even the dogs can't resist joining in"

I just read an article based on research by the American Association of Science, that found singing rewires damaged brains. They are now using singing to make it easier to communicate for those who damaged their brains. Apparently its easier to sing than talk for these people. This has huge benefits for people like me. I'm thinking of all those brain cells I destroyed when over indulging in my favorite beverage. Wahoo....I can fix those poor brain cells with a little warbling.

And that's not all...

There is much more! I quick search with Mr Google and the list of benefits of singing is mind blowing. Look at this partial list;

* exercises your lungs

* increases creativity

* boosts immune system

* improves sleep (maybe not for those listening)

* reduces or eliminates; anger, depression and stress

* it makes my amigos laugh (sometimes uncontrollably, which is a great form of exercise, for them)

And that's just a fraction of the benefits of singing. Heck, it can even help those with Parkinson's Disease, regain balance. Is there nothing singing can't do?

"if singing were a drug we could patent, we would all become billionaires"

Too bad its free, and you don't even have to be good at it. Best of all, when I really want to annoy my son, I just start singing. In no time I have the house all to myself....isn't that wonderful? Yep, it really moves him.

Smile, singing when done right (or badly) will bring you peace and serenity!

The best time to sell anything

Recent studies have shown that people are more generous and happier when the sun is shining. And now I just read about a study done on twitter that people are happiest in the mornings. In the afternoon they slump and are more likely to feel sad and drepressed. By the evening they rebound somewhat. This holds true even on the weekends.

So it seems to me that if you want to convince someone to do something pick a sunny day and in the morning. Seems like an odd time to ask for a date...but what the heck!

The power of a hug

"Fear is laughable in the embrace of a great hug"

I had to chuckle when I read a study that showed that fear disapates when we are hugged.  I mean really, didn't we already know that.   Every parent learns instintively that a scared child can be calmed down with a good loving hug.   And yet I do keep learning more about the power of a hug all the time.   Let me tell you a little story....

I was the MC at a friends wedding.   During the wedding ceremony I could not help but notice that the Maid of Honor looked distressed.  After the ceremony was over I took her aside and asked if everything was ok?   She told me she was freaked out about giving the toast to the bride.   She really surprised me since she isn't  the bashful type.    But she told me that just thinking about standing up and having all eyes on her was making her sick.  

She showed me pages and pages of notes.   I think I'd be nervous if I had to read from all of those papers?    Then I got an idea!   I told her to put away the papers and just speak from the heart about her best friend.    I also assurred her that I make her so relaxed she would enjoy her moment.  

It was time to introduce the head table.   When I got to her, here is how I introduced her....'and this is my friend Marilyn who is also the brides best friend.    Marilyn is one the sweetest and kindest people I know and a world class hugger.   And if any you people doubt me...just go check her out yourself!'

A handsome young man leaped to his feet and shouted out,  "I'll check her out".     The crowd roared as he went up and gave her a long enthusiastic hug.   Marilyn was laughing along with the crowd.   Then 3 more young men took up the challenge.    The room was rocking with laughter and just when it started to subside the preacher stood up said he wanted to check her out as well.   Not this was getting hillarious.  I've never seen Marilyn laughs so hard and she is a girl who loves to laugh.

Immediately after the preacher had his hug I asked her to give her toast to the bride.   She gave a beautiful loving toast and did it with good humor and grace.   It was perfect!

Hugging releases the cuddle homone oxytocin into your brain.   The beautiful thing about oxytocin is that it reaches the brain almost instantaniously.    Oxytocin has a dampening effect on fear.  

So if you are ever nervous about public speaking just get some good hugs first.   It works amazingly well.    Toastmaster should promote my idea and it would speed up helping people get over their fears of public speaking.   And of course its fun and just plain feels good. 

BONUS TIP......some people get cold clamy hands when they are about to stand up in front of crowd.   Here is my solution to that,  get a hot drink (coffee or tea) and cup it in your hands before you get up.  The warmth will also help to calm you.  

Don't be so quick to dismiss this..

We all read and heard about different ideas and decided instantly whether we had any interest in it or not. What I'm thinking about is when we dismiss an idea or a thought that might acually have  been good for us.

I read a lot of books and frequently I will think of someone who I think in my sphere of influence would benefit from me sharing my discovery.

It was interesting to me that the one's that I thought that would benefit from it the most were the one's I know would be least interested in watching, reading or even talking about it. It's much the same when you go to a seminar. You look around and see who is there and who is not? Yep, those that need it aren't there, and those who are already on the right path are there.

By contrast those that I felt needed it the least were the one's who jumped right on something that sounded interesting to them. They saw the immediate benefit not just for them but for others. This has me thinking about what I might have dismissed in my life that could have had major benefit to me? Now obviously its healthy to dismiss some things like recreational drugs for instance. But perhaps we would all benefit if we were just a little more open minded and were not so quick to dismiss what we don't initially understand.

Here is the thought...what if we're wrong? Just contemplate for a moment all the good things you missed because you thought you had all the answers?

Then there are those who dismiss the ideas of others and by doing so crush their enthusiasm. The damage done by belittling someone else's dreams can be devastating. Here's what Mark Twain had to say about that...

"keep away from people who belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that but the great one's
make you feel that you too, can become great"

 

Don't start any new venture until you read this!

This was inspired by the 'Rotary Club 4 way test' which is pretty good but I like mine a lot more. Any new venture I contemplate will have to pass this test before I will seriously consider it. This strikes me as a wondeful way to ensure success? What do you think?

I also got thinking about failed projects and quickly realized that if I had applied this test, I would have never started them in the first place. I challenge you to look back at some failed project in your past and put it to my test? Would it have passed?

I'm going to print it off and put it on the wall by my desk as a reminder.

Pssst....if you want to make me happy just hit the f button below and help me spread the word. We just might help someone from making a big mistake!

Write with wine and edit with coffee

"Life was meant to be; fun, easy and abundant"

Some days I do think the Cosmic Jokester (some of you call him God) really loves me and wants me to be happy!   To explain first let me tell you a little story...

One night I was at home alone with my wine and a movie.   Truth be told the wine was so fine that I had consumed more than my usual allotment (never mind I'm telling you what that is).   I had left my laptop on and several times heard that little sound that tells you that you have a message.   I decided to check it as I had been sharing messages earlier with an attractive lady.

As I made my way to the computer I was aware of the wine's effect on me.   However, I was enjoying it immensely so I brought my traveling companion (a glass of wine) with me.   Sure enough Ms Beautiful was messaging me again.   As I consumed my fine wine, we exchanged what I thought was some very creative and hillarious messages. 

The next morning when I awoke with a cloudy brain I suddently remembered our messaging from the previous night.   Oh no, I thought, I wonder if I blew it?    In my morning stupor I lay in bed thinking what stupid things I might have said.   So I got up and headed to the computer to check the sent messages, afraid of what I might find.    We all know (at least those of us who enjoy the bubbly) that when intoxicated we can say and do stupid things.   So what did I find?

I'm brilliant when I'm all winned up!   Ok, my spelling goes downhill and punctuation was perverse.   But what the hey,   it made sense and it did qualify I thought, as...witty and creative!   She'll never know my condition at the time (unless she reads this).

Now here's where it gets interesting...

This morning I stumbled upon a research article that states that we ARE more creative when we are drunk or sleepy.   Some of the great writers from the past like Hemmingway knew this.  That brilliant writer is quoted as saying....'Write drunk, edit sober''.   But I'm sure the prudes of the day scoffed at their inebriated claims.  

Here is how it works..

Your brain when its functioning normally ignores ideas and connections that are not likely solutions.  This is because there is just so much information to consider that it would be inefficient to consider what we know is obviously wrong.   However when it comes to creative work our brains work better without that kind of focus.   It's when we are open to all things that the creative connections are made.  And when we are under the influence our mind has difficulty staying on a narrow focus like we do when thinking annalytically sober. 

How much more creative?

In the study 43% of the sober subjects solved the puzzles given.   Now hold onto your wine glass for this....the drinkers solved 82% of the puzzles.   Doesn't that just rock your boat?  Almost twice as good at creative problem solving as our sober friends!   Really this shouldn't come as that big of a surprise since we all know we feel smarter (and better looking) when we are drinking.

Now when it comes to editing we need that sober brain.  Mine is sharper after it has been jolted with my morning java.   Soooo that is why I say.........write with wine and edit with coffee.

The bad news...

No I'm not going to talk about the evils of wine or any other spiked beverage.    No, the bad news is that the researchers got the same kind of result with subjects who were distracted by being over tired.  Again the brain finds it difficult to ignore the unlikely thoughts and associations that a sober and well rested brain would normally do.   Damn....were's the fun in that?

Time for some mind reading..

You big brain is left with the burning question....was he drinking when he wrote this?    The answer is...you're bonkers if you think I'll tell you!

P.S. One night mi amigo Juan Pedro and I were being very friendly with the vino and were having a spritited creative conversation.   Knowing that we wouldn't remember our creative solutions in the morning, I got pen and paper to record our brilliance.   Great thoughts flowed and by the time we stumbled off to bed, I was satisfied we had solved most of the worlds problems.   The next morning I hurried to the family room to retrive the previous nights insights.   There it was one entire nights recordings....only one problem....I couldn't read the chicken scrawl that was my polluted penmanship!

  

You matter when?

You matter when....

When you love the work you do and the people you do it with.

When you are so gracious, generous and aware that you think of other people before yourself.

You are the problem solver not the problem creator.

When you leave the world a better place than you found it.

When you continue to raise the bar on what you do and how you do it.

When you teach and forgive before you rush to judge and demean.

When you touch the people in your life through your actions (and your words).

When kids grow up wanting to be you (or inspired by you).

When someone knows you love them unconditionally.

When you see the world as it is but insist on making it more like it coul be.

When you inspire a Nobel prize winner or a slum dweller.

When the room brightens when you walk in.

When you give someone you total undivided attention.

And when the legacy you leave behind lasts for hours, days or a lifetime.

When you cause someone to have a good belly laugh.

CONFESSION TIME; I swiped this from Seth Godin's excellent blog and then snuck in a few of my own!

Your turn.....what would you add to the list?

Ask the guru?

Are you in on the joke too?

Did you ever get the feeling that this life is just one big joke, being played out at your expense?

Some things just don't seem to make sense. Here is a short list, that I've been contemplating...

*The best way to conquer your enemies....is to love them.
*To find God....stop looking.
*To gain wisdom....stop thinking.
*To feel wealthy....give it away.
*To gain more influence....place other people's interests first.

(that list looks like future articles for me to write...hmmm)

At times life just doesn't seem logical and maybe that's why so many people struggle. But what if it's all just a big joke? What if there is a God (or Goddess, women like to have fun too) and he or she gets together with their amigos to have some fun with us little people down here?

Now things would start to make sense to me! For instance...some years ago, I was listening to a speaker promoting his memory course. He demonstrated his craft by memorizing the names of every person in the room (there were about 50 of us) plus some details about each of us. And this was just for starters, the guy was amazing, he had all kinds of memory tricks....I was impressed!

So I plunked down my 100 bucks. After all as my friends know I tend to have a suspect memory. If I get really involved in something I can forget seemingly small details like picking up my son after school.

Anyway, I was conjuring up in my mind all the benefits and how I would impress my friends with my new display of memory skills. They were going to impressed next week after I graduated from the course. There was only one problem....I forgot to go!

This little story has entertained many over the years and always at my embarassing expense. I can't begin to count how times I've heard lines from so called friends like; how many times did he resell the same course to you? A cosmic joke? I think so.

It's things like this that have led me to believe that life is not meant to be taken so serious. If it's one big cosmic joke then I want to be in on it. And if my head is full of hot air as many have long suspected...so what? When my life on this planet is done, the least they will say of me is...the fool sure had a good time!

Smile, and people will think you are in on the joke!

The more you give....

"You can always tell a true friend. When you've made a fool of yourself she doesn't think you've done a pernament job"

If you were to ask me, what is the one principle to live by that will make your life fun, easy and abundant? I would say surround yourself with givers. Having friends who are givers is the cherry on top of life's meaning.

5 Benefits of having givers as friends (there are many more of course)

1. There is no such thing as it's my turn. No need to keep track of who did what because givers love giving.

2. Givers give off positive energy. Their positive energy lifts you up and makes you feel good about yourself.

3. Givers make you want to be a better person.

4. Givers are happy people and that happiness can be contagious.

5. Someone always has your back. Just knowing that when you stumble someone will put out a hand is very reasurring. If you are being criticised in your absence someone will defend you.

6. Having givers as friends means a life of pleasant surprises. You never know what will be given to you for no reason other than that you are loved. (OK I know that makes six but what the hey, I just felt like giving a little more)

Takers

Avoid these people like you would an unnecessary root canel. The first sign you are with a taker is that their conversation revolves around me me and me. No matter where the conversation goes they find a way to make it about themselves. They will use you and abuse you. They are self centered and immature . They believe that in order for them to succeed they need to take from others. These people are toxic to your happiness.

Fools

The fools are takers but don't know it. They may see themselves as givers but they suck the energy out of you. They may make you a supper but then they dump every morsel of their problems on your plate. These are people who as I said appear to be givers but are so negative that they are draining to be around.

Fakers

The fakers are the ones that calculate that if they give they will get something back. They only give because they think it will gain them something now or down the road. They will fool you but mostly they fool themselves.

What if I haven't been a giver but I want to change?

The answer is simple...give until it feels good!

Guru Rules of The World

Many years ago I came across a list entitled, 'Rules of the World'. It purported to explain how the world worked. If you followed it's teachings then your life would be much easier. I thought it was excellent but being me, I couldn't resist the temptation to write my own set of rules.

Here is my creation! Let me know what you think?

"life is a game

play it well

and have some fun"

Psssst.......if you like this, why not share it with your Facebook friends? Just hit the f button below. Thanks!

The Seducers Favorite Toy

"a good surprise is the unexpected joy of being alive"   

There is a sudden joy, that hits us when we are the recipients of a happy surprise. That joy leaves us feeling, alive, vibrant and appreciated (if only for moments). Seducers understand the power of surprise. That so many don't, is good news for us. After all, if everyone understood and utilized surprise, there would be little magic left in it.

"a life without surprises is called boredom"    

It is at these too infrequent moments of surprise, that we rediscover our inner child. Moments when we can once more feel the awe and wonder, that a child experiences daily. So appreciative are we, that it is hard to control the desire to reiprocate. Mere gratitude seems insufficient. And remember the goal of seduction is to entice life to give us what we desire. This is pure gold.

"a pleasant surprise keeps us coming back in the hopes of another one"

It is interesting to understand what is going on in the brain's pleasure center when it is experiencing surprise. Social scientists, with the aid of MRI's have measured the reaction when we experience surprise. Then they measured the reaction when the same pleasure was not anticipated (surprise). The reaction is significantly stronger when the pleasure was not anticipated. This explains why gambling can be so addictive. This is powerful stuff.

"a good seducer always has a good surprise up her sleeve"

The price of adulthood for most is boredom. Life becomes predictable and routine. We yearn for excitement and adventure. This is why even a small surprise can have a big payback. The most cherished memories are most often a result of surprise. The effort someone made to pull off a surprise, makes us feel appreciated and loved.

It amazes me that business leaders and politicians haven't figured out the benefits of surprising customers and constituients. That friends so rarely make the effort to surprise each other is another head scratcher. Even more fun is to surprise total strangers. And this is why us seducers have an unfair advantage...SURPRISE!

"a good surprise can cost little in money and effort and yet be remembered for a long time"

Awhile back I printed out a card. I keep several in my wallet at all times. I give the card mostly to strangers (ok, usually women). I give it show my appreciation for good service or just because someone made me smile. It always comes as a surprise and trust me, the effect can be amazing. Now because I like you sooo much, I'm going to share it with you. Please use it only for good...

When I said a good seducer always has a surprise up his sleeve, this is one of mine. It's gotten me more hugs, free coffee, drinks and reactions than you can imagine. Best of all, it has made a lot of people feel really good about themselves.

"it has been said that a woman can live off of a good compliment for days. What they didn't say is that a woman can live off of a good surprise for months"

Many folks have misunderstood surprise, they think for it to be effective it needs to be grand. Not so. Many small surprises are more effective than one grandiose display. And surprise has a shelf life, so if you think your surprise is going to seduce indefinitely, you are going to be disappointed. Surprise is a game that is so much fun, it needs to be played over and over again!