Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Seduced in seconds!

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

(Leo Buscaglia)


It may take you many hours to train some of these techniques into your brain but once they are mastered, you will be able to ‘seduce in seconds‘. Just imagine the fun you are going to have? Within seconds you will find others opening up to you and wanting to be your friend and help you in anyway they can.

You will get preferred service and fast tracked to success. Ok, this is starting to sound like one of those crazy late night infomercials. So maybe, in truth it won’t work 100% of the time on 100% of the people. However, it will work most of the time on most of the people….and that amigos, is why this is so darn much fun. Lets begin…

Learn to Smile

I know you have being living under the delusion that you already know how to smile. Well I’ll grant you that you know how to smile, but do you know how to smile seductively? Lucky for you, I’m here to teach you how to smile so that others will instantly like and warm up to you.

Most people smile in one of two ways, either they do that pursed lips smile (no teeth showing) or they just quickly flash their pearly whites. That’s the common no real feelings attached type of smiling. Not good enough for us seducers and not good enough to entice others to like us.

How to master ’the seducer smile’.

1) As you approach someone, start repeating to yourself, ‘beautiful, beautiful’ as it is important to get yourself mentally receptive to the other person. Try to imagine yourself warming up to the other person.

2) Let your smile start to grow slowly, increasing in intensity as you get closer. It is very important to let the smile slowly take over your face and not rush it. If done properly, it is near impossible for the other person to resist smiling back. This is how people who love and care for each other smile at each other upon meeting. It is trained into our system to respond to this.

2) Let your smile crinkle your eyes as you feel the warmth between you and the other person.

2) Ensure that your heart is facing their heart. You must be directly facing the other person. This is an open and trusting gesture and please don’t cross your arms or in anyway show any closing off gestures.

3) Eye contact. People who love and respect each other, love to make eye contact. So look into their eyes and notice their eye color. Make a mental note of their eye color and do it every time you talk to someone, to build this great habit. Eye contact is very intimate so don’t overdue it, or you will be perceived as weird and strange. You only need to hold eye contact for a few seconds. Do this with a soft glaze and definitely not a stare.

This is very seductive to anyone and extremely hard to resist. Practice on friends and family if you are too shy to try it on strangers. As you build confidence you find it normal and natural to use on strangers.

Recent research has shown that the two most important qualities that make others like us instantly are; a friendly (smiling) face and a pleasant voice. We can all do that with little effort.

Note: As an unintended consequence you may find some misinterpret this as a come on. You’ll just have to deal with it, I can’t be responsible if your attractiveness shoots through the roof. Just be gentle with them when you tell them you are happily in a relationship.

“what can I give you”

I just learned this one recently and have been trying it out with astounding success. Whenever I meet someone (known or unknown to me) I mentally ask myself, what can I give you? The possibilities are endless and the effect seductive. Here are some possibilities that bounce around in my noggin;

* a compliment

* a favour

* an introduction to someone who may be helpful to them

* silence (sometimes they just need to speak and this is a gift rarely given)

* a gift of some sort

* a recommendation

* advice

* a helpful tip

* an idea

* validation for what they are saying or doing

“the more we give of ourselves the more that remains”

As you can see what we give doesn’t have to cost much or anything. It is the giving that sends the message that we are giver and not a taker that breaks down defences and builds trust. And the bonus is that it always makes me feel good about myself to boot.

“turn the spotlight on someone else and you will be amazed at how often it returns to you”

Most people are so insecure that the very idea of sharing the spotlight or shinning it on someone else is inconceivable. It takes a secure and confident person to put the spotlight on someone else, when they could very easily hog it to themselves. And as we know secure and confident people are so seductive to us.

What amazes me is that when you give away the spotlight willingly and freely, it’s not just the person receiving the attention but the others who witness it, who are seduced by you. They witness your generosity, are appreciative and in admiration of someone so generous. We all love the spotlight and as some wise man once said…it’s amazing what can be accomplished if it doesn’t matter who gets the credit. It takes a big person to step out of the spotlight and leave it for another. But then big people are the one’s we admire and are happy to assist.

“a common interest is the basis for friendship”

I’ve noticed over the years that all of my friendships started based on a common interest. Whether it was a love of boats, water, sports or philosophy, I found a common interest that started the friendship. After the initial interest, things like; humour, likeability, morals, intelligence and kindness, took the relationship to another level. However, a common interest is what opened the door to start with.

So it just makes sense to try and find a common interest when you meet someone. The quicker you find that interest, the quicker they will be receptive to you. It can happen in seconds. It’s easy to like someone who likes what I like.

Touch their senses

Some recent research has shown how effective employing the senses can be. For instance, the salesman who pitches you while you are in a nice comfy soft chair, will be more persuasive to you then if he sits you in a hard chair.

Give you significant other a nice hot drink and they soften their resistance to what you are proposing. Give them a cold drink and they might stiffen and be less receptive.

If your hands are cold, warm them up before shaking hands, it makes a difference. Of course if you do something like, stand there rubbing your hands on your pants before you shake someone’s hand, I’m guessing they might run. Be a tad discreet.

The idea is to make them feel good. It’s just like kids know, no sense trying to ask for a pony for Christmas if Mom is in a foul mood.

To impress, don’t bother trying

Trying to impress someone with a particular trait, causes you to see the other person as lacking in that trait. You become more judgemental of that trait, and might miss their better qualities. That is the findings of a major study. You try to impress with intelligence and you end up thinking the other person is not that bright.

I believe that is only half of the damage done. The other is that most often the other person reads that you are trying to impress. Think about it, how many times have you met someone who was trying to impress and you felt a major turn off. We are smarter than they think and so it follows, that they are smarter than we think.

So what to do? We impress most when we encourage them to impress us.

How to enter a room

A warrior walks into a room and announces…here I am! He hopes to be noticed. Warrior’s are then quick to let you know their point of view.

A seducer walks into a room and says…ah, there you are. Seducers get noticed by appreciating others. Seducers want to know your opinion before they share their own.

We are most attracted to those who convey good health and energy. And therefore, are irresistibly drawn to those who emulate positive energy and repelled by the energy suckers. Your attitude, posture and expressions have a strong influence on how your energy is perceived. I realize that you may be thinking this is little more than judging a book by its cover, but it is reality. So suck it up Princess and lift your energy up before you introduce yourself.

Extraverts and even self centered people seem to have an advantage over others initially. They are just more comfortable doing the things that make us quickly popular such as; expressing themselves confidently and entertaining us. The good news is, while we may be seduced by the self centered types, the effect wears off as just as soon as their real self is revealed.

So there you have it, how to seduce in seconds. Use if for good and have fun.

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