Tuesday, August 6, 2013

The Power of Touch....use it to get your way!

We humans are addicted to touch.   From the times when we were babies we craved to be touched we needed it to survive.   Touching releases the hormone Oxytocin which is sometimes referred to as the cuddle or love homone.  

So how can you use touch to your advantage (without stepping over the line and getting punched or charged with unwanted sexual advances).    Some persuasion experts will tell you don't do it.  But I strongly disagree, just do it the right way.  

First, only touch appropriately.   This means only touching from the shoulder to the hand and in some cases with those you are comfortable with the back.  

Touch Technique #1

Situation:   Use this when you are starting a negotiation.

When you meet someone you are about to negotiate with whether it be a yard sale, a car purchase or selling your product.   Greet them with a handshake and while you are shaking hands give them a sincere compliment.   It is vital that you do these both at the same time.

Praise is perfect, flattery is phoney

It is essential that they believe you are sincere and the only way to be sure yourself is to be sincere.   The praise can be for anything; a well decorated office or picture of her children.  Just be sincere.

When you praise the other person at the same time they are being touched (handshake) you lower their resistance to you and you ideas.  The praise plus the release of Oxytocin causes them to be more trusting and to like you...

Touch Technique #2

Situation:   Use this to make a request at the end of a meeting.

Again while you shaking hands goodbye make a request.   So you might say something like...."it was great to meet you Allison, would you mind if I called on you again next week?"  

It is extremely hard to say no to a request when someone is holding your hand.   It goes against our nature.    Also, a request that is made out into the future is easier to agree to than one that is the next day.  

Just remember that the request and handshake have to be made at the same time!

Don't let the simplicity of these Touch Techniques fool you.   They work!   I've used them many times to great success.    And of course use them only for good intentions.

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